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RenegadeRaven
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12 Jun 2013, 12:21 pm

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Throughout my life I have been stared at quite a bit and had a few people try to avoid me when I walked nearby. As if I appeared to be somewhat scary or creepy. My appearance has changed quite a bit since then and have been a recluse for years. So shall I expect the same reaction when I go amongst the general public again?



YourMajesty
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12 Jun 2013, 12:44 pm

I honestly don't think so. But maybe that's just me.



whirlingmind
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12 Jun 2013, 12:46 pm

No. but there is sometimes a stereotype of shaven-headed young males, because skinheads and NF members have that look. If you notice in the movies, often the bouncer types, or the hired thugs will have shaven heads. Sadly people do often judge a book by its cover, so there will always be some people that will think that of you. You have a nice smile, perhaps if they see you when you are not smiling you look more scary.


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GhostsInTheWallpaper
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12 Jun 2013, 12:47 pm

I think there's a common stereotype that men with shaved heads are "tough guys" who might act violently. Also, if you walk with an odd posture, NTs might be weirded out by that alone. It's kind of embarrassing to admit in a place like this, but I myself have tended to avoid people on the street who behaved oddly or had odd postures.

I don't think this means you should avoid going out in public, though. The rest of us just need to be more open-minded.


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Joe90
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12 Jun 2013, 12:55 pm

No I don't think you look scary, and I'm not just saying that to be polite. You are nice-looking, and I wouldn't think anything differently about you if I walked past you in the street. You'd just look like an ordinary guy to me.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm not scary-looking but I still get funny looks from strangers.


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RenegadeRaven
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12 Jun 2013, 12:56 pm

Well the reason I buzz/shave my head is due to skin sensitivity. I would always feel hot with a head of hair on my head and was irritating for me. I feel "free" with my scalp exposed and it feels good all year for me, even during winter. Plus it is easier to care for and save money with a trimmer.

If that is why people feel uneasy around me then oh well. I have significant Slavic ancestry, coming from my mother's side (where my looks came from) so there is no way I would even talk to those hate groups. I know what would have happened if the Axis won the war.



RenegadeRaven
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12 Jun 2013, 1:08 pm

I used to be obese so maybe that is partially why people avoided me in the past. Although I still have a bigger frame than most people (6''2 200+lbs) but look kind of skinny as of now. Perhaps I have that look of a "thug". :(



Uprising
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12 Jun 2013, 1:39 pm

I notice looking like a hooligan but not acting like one gets seen as "wannabe" by society and society does seem to have a tremendous amount of hate towards people who appear like that sort of "wannabe" to them.

Coming from personal experience.

You also get quite targetted when you look like an extremely tough guy but do have noticeable weak and sensitive parts too (for example: weak physique, lack of muscles, "wimpy" behaviour) and trust me, people from both genders and from all ages are guilty of stigmatizing and discriminating people like that.



rixxar12
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12 Jun 2013, 2:14 pm

I dont see anything weird, you are actually kinda actrative.



Caz72
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12 Jun 2013, 2:33 pm

people are pretty shallow and stupid if they think you are scary.

i used to think i looked scary, iv always had an unusual type of grey eyes, more of a cornflower colour, and they are very noticeble because they show up, but in the last 10 years or so i seem to attract a lot of men and still do now. i will never know why.



Panddora
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12 Jun 2013, 2:33 pm

You look absolutely fine to me. Maybe you look different without the smile?



glider18
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12 Jun 2013, 2:45 pm

No, you don't look scary.


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KingdomOfRats
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12 Jun 2013, 3:06 pm

people will stare at anything that diverges from the norm; behavior,the way someone stands/walks/lacks or gives eye contact,the things they carry with them the clothes they wear etc ,there is no way to stop other people staring but we can have control over ourselves; the best way is to practice not giving a damn, so the staring loses its power rather than avoiding the problem as that supposedly gives a impresion the person is shy,trying to hide themselves and avoid conflict, scallies/chavs/bullies/pyschopaths etc and even cops and other services who use profiling jump all over this vulnerability.

a lot of people dont mean anything by the stare they just do it because evolution taught them to be that way,to be weary of the unusual.
-if feeling stressed whilst starting out in public again try learning basic deep breathing exercise and making use of it when out;
http://ptsd.about.com/od/selfhelp/ht/breathing2.htm
ignore the fact its in the PTSD section on the site,its the least deliberately difficult version will find of deep breathing exercise probably,a old ld-pyschologist of mine tried teaching DBE but was unable to learn it,aparently its a very good coping strategy for many different issues though.

the best thing to remember is that have got just as much right to be out there as those staring,dont over anaylize their stare and think theyre being judgemental,and if they are well f them then.
dont look away from a chavs/scallies stare if possible,stare them down by focusing on a part near the eyes so that the rest blurs away,chavs will target those who look away from their stares but they get intimidated by people who refuse to give in to their BS.

from own experience,woud not recognise individuals on a street as am not able to percieve people in the same way as most,nor scan the environment,but having had a lifetime of serious bullying and attacks from living in a mega chav enriched part of manchester [they even attacked mum all the time as well and she is a pensioner almost near dwarfism size], am able to stare the scum down with every 'retard' or laugh and stare they give and theyre welcome if they want to sort it out with their fists,but funily enough not one of them has ever had the guts.


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daydreamer84
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12 Jun 2013, 3:12 pm

No you don't...not at all.



Murderface
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12 Jun 2013, 3:22 pm

I get told that all the time. I'm really a nice guy.


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Kuribo
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12 Jun 2013, 4:01 pm

No, you don't look scary at all. You look like a perfectly nice guy to me. :)

How is your body language in social situations? NTs often become unnerved by "incorrect" body language and posture.