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SteelMaiden
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01 Aug 2013, 10:48 am

What is the point in a social party?

What is the point of moving oddly on a dance floor, consuming large amounts of ethanol and trying to shout over sensorineural hearing loss-inducing music?

Does anyone else get extremely agitated / have a meltdown in a party?

I haven't had a birthday party since I was 10 years old, when I nearly caused criminal damage during a meltdown.


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chlov
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01 Aug 2013, 10:52 am

I rarely go to parties.

There is never loud music or alcohol at the parties I go to.
Also there is a lot of gratis food to eat there.

I usually sit with a freind at parties and eat and drink.



SteelMaiden
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01 Aug 2013, 10:58 am

But why do people like meeting up in large groups to perform social small talk for hours? What is the point of that?


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Cilantro
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01 Aug 2013, 11:00 am

The point is that other people don't' have your wiring and may perceive the same thing differently, want different things, or use different means to get there.



SteelMaiden
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01 Aug 2013, 11:02 am

I cannot "read" other people, so I am trying to learn about them in a scientific manner.


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turtleoverhare
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01 Aug 2013, 11:16 am

cant be near any large groups of people or I panic big time.



turtleoverhare
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01 Aug 2013, 11:19 am

unless im drunk for some reason im ok when im drunk, people like me way more



FallingDownMan
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01 Aug 2013, 11:40 am

I used to go to parties to get drunk. I would usually latch on to one or two people, or a small group. Drinking for me, allowed me to socialize almost like an NT. Alas, I got into too much trouble drinking and had to quit.

I guess in the end I went to parties to try to meet new people. Sometimes I did, most of the time I didn't.



AspE
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01 Aug 2013, 11:43 am

SteelMaiden wrote:
What is the point in a social party?

Sex.

SteelMaiden wrote:
What is the point of moving oddly on a dance floor, consuming large amounts of ethanol and trying to shout over sensorineural hearing loss-inducing music?

See above.

SteelMaiden wrote:
Does anyone else get extremely agitated / have a meltdown in a party?

Yes, they are the worst. The few times I've been to one recently, I had to flee.



rapidroy
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01 Aug 2013, 12:06 pm

I think alot of people go and host parties simply to network with others or strengthin the existing network and unlike meny of us they can actually enjoy doing it. Networking is great when you need something, then you have people you can relay on. The small talk is often just a complicated by-product of an alterier goal. Some thoughts to consider anyway.



Meistersinger
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01 Aug 2013, 12:32 pm

I don't mind small parties, like an ice cream social, where I know the people in attendance. I don't mind church picnics either, or even concerts in an orchestral hall or a theater, just as long as I have a seat at the end of the row or where there are not many people around me. I can't stand rock concerts where the sound pressure level is enough to make your ears bleed.



Joe90
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01 Aug 2013, 12:34 pm

I liked attending birthday parties when I was a little kid, because I wasn't as socially anxious as I am as an adult, and I enjoyed the music if it was a disco type of party, and they only lasted an afternoon and there was no drinking alcohol involved. But it's different as an adult, you get all sorts of people coming and some are extroverts who can seem quite scary to someone like me, even if they are nice. Most adults prefer to party right late into the night and early hours of the morning, and call me a 60-year-old woman but I like to be tucked up in bed by 11pm, and anyway I find parties too boring to be at for so long. An hour or two does me fine if I had to.


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Quinntilda
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01 Aug 2013, 2:14 pm

It depends on where the party is. I must be the opposite here. I go to parites so people think I am one of them. I understand the drinking part. That is the problem with my family is the ones we see the most only talk to you if you drink. The only reason I go to my uncles house is to drink now because its the only way people want to talk to me.



BookPerson
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01 Aug 2013, 3:30 pm

Meistersinger wrote:
I don't mind small parties, like an ice cream social, where I know the people in attendance.


I also am fine with smaller parties. I guess, in some ways, I don't really think of such as parties, so much as gatherings of friends. When I think of parties, and this might just be my age group too, I think of crowded rooms with flowing alcohol and terrible, thumping music pervading the whole thing. That's what I hate. I've never been to one. Part of it is because I'm rather out of the loop at my university. I never know when/where the parties are. If I see or hear one, I wouldn't just go in either. (I don't know if there's anyone in there I know.) Plus the whole idea just seems, to me, to be a waste of time. Trying to find love/sex or meet people at a party is like gambling - you don't know who might be there or what kinds of interests they have. Then again, like others, I'm wired differently. Just walking into a room full of people I don't know and trying to make conversations and connections is beyond daunting. It doesn't help either when you don't watch sports. :wink:

I'd rather get together with my friends. That wouldn't be a waste of time, to me. Good conversation, lots of funny humour, good music, camaraderie, perhaps some good cooking - that's a lot more appealing than a typical party to me.



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01 Aug 2013, 3:40 pm

I love a good party me but I usually stand either in the garden or in the kitchen because I just like the passing trade. I don't usually get drunk either but I enjoy watching everyone else have a nice time.


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Janissy
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01 Aug 2013, 3:44 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
I cannot "read" other people, so I am trying to learn about them in a scientific manner.


When I read your initial post I thought it was a rhetorical question. But in this post it is a straightforward informational question.

Two true informational answers have been given: sex and networking. Those are two strong motivators for people to go to parties and sometimes dance. While accurate answers, those answers still give the impression that parties are an aggravation that people tolerate for the sake of sex or networking. But Cilantro has given the broader answer that is the most accurate answer of all. If you are wired in a certain (and very common) way, parties are lots and lots of fun. Sometimes when people go to many, many parties in a row they get tired of them and they aren't as fun anymore but even a person who has grown weary of one type of party will often be utterly delighted at the prospect of an entirely different sort of party. The man who can't bear one more office party can still have the time of his life at a good friend's wedding reception.

I greatly enjoy parties and realize this is down entirely to wiring. Cilantro is absolutely right. Imagine the joy of being totally immersed in a special interest, so immersed you lose all sense of time and are focused on it utterly. That is what a good party feels like for people wired that way. There will be people at the part just hoping to hook up for sex. And there will be people at the party just wanting to network. But there will also be people utterly lost in the joy on the dance floor. And it is joy. If you are wired that way.