Childfree by choice
How many of you aspies here are childfree by choice? Can you give some of your reasons for your decision to remain childfree?
I have several reasons. #1 is that I have way too many interests and get absorbed in them. If I had a baby, I would not be able to run after it or watch it......I'd get bored so quicky and curse the day I bore him/her. A baby would take over my life and I hate to loose control like that. I'd much rather focus on creating concepts, ideas, or art than human life
#2 is that I like to travel, as part of an academic position but also for site, museum, cultural visits to different places. Having a child would limit my travel as I would have to be in one place for his/her schooling.
#3 is that I am afraid that any child of mine will disappoint me if he/she was not as motivated or smart as I am.
#4 is that I don't want to even imagine what childbirth will be like
#5 there are nearly 7 billion people in the world. I don't want to contribute to overpopulation
#6 What is I have a child who is blind, deaf, mentally ill or ret*d (and find out when it is too late?)
*7 I have sensory issues and can't stand loud noises or too much running around
I'm sure there are more reasons but I just can't think of them now. Let's hear some of yours.
I can't believe I just read this on a forum for autistic people. Wow.
I don't like either your evident prejudice against the disabled or your implication that you would abort the child if you found out "in time."
richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind
i dont plan on having any kids. first of all they are too expencive! second, they'll send me to an early grave with all the theatrics they pull and trouble making they cause. sometimes i almost break stuff in my apartment because its not working right! could you imagine getting on to your kid by punching them in the face?! that would be me
I can't believe I just read this on a forum for autistic people. Wow.
I don't like either your evident prejudice against the disabled or your implication that you would abort the child if you found out "in time."
Nowhere do I state that I have a prejudice against these people. I just stated that I do not want a child like that.
And FYI, I do not consider Asperger's a disability at all. It is simply different brain wiring.
Sorry, I'm one of those people who just wants a child and want to be able to raise one alongside my future wife (if I do end up with one), we seemed to have already planned our future and I can imagine the picture right in my head, it's simply beautiful.
_________________
BACK in London…. For now.
Follow my adventures on twitter: @superboyian
Please feel free to help my aspie friend become a pilot: https://gofund.me/a9ae45b4
I'm childfree by choice. My parents agree with this choice, and my mom even said that if I want to, I can have my tubes tied in a couple of years to protect me from an accidental pregnancy in case I ever get raped. That would be the only reason why, because I have no desire for sex and/or marriage either. My personal reasons why I decided to be childfree:
- I'm irresponsible. If I can barely take care of myself, how could I possibly be trusted to care for a child?
- My phobias of choking and vomiting would prevent me from helping my child if those things ever happened to them.
- I'm selfish. I want to devote my time, attention and money to my special interests. I don't want to spend those things on a child.
- Sensory issues. The sound of a child screaming/crying hurts my ears just as badly as a fire alarm or a siren.
- If my child were to ever have emotional/mental problems (or even if they were totally "normal" and just influenced by teenage hormones) I don't know how I would cope. It kind of ties in with the screaming/crying thing, but also with my tendency of not handling conflict well.
And the biggest reason...
- Lack of maternal instinct. I have never had a desire for children. I didn't even like playing with toy babies as a child. Instead of viewing babies as adorable, helpless mini-people and longing for one of my own, I view them as these obnoxious, foul, almost sub-human or alien creatures and want absolutely nothing to do with them. In fact, the mere sight of an infant is enough to cause me to get irritated, because I don't understand why everyone else loves them so.
I don't want kids. The thought frightens me, mainly the fact that I would be responsible for another human when I can barely be responsible for myself. I like to be alone far too much. I'm not sure I could even handle an adult relationship.
The other thing that freaks me out is actually being pregnant. How would Aspie women deal with this? It would be an incredible amount of sensory and emotional overload for me.
All of this aside, I actually really love kids. I prefer teaching them though, than having them.
KyleTheGhost
Veteran
Joined: 29 Jul 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 70,217
Location: Luna, Imagination Isle
- If my child were to ever have emotional/mental problems (or even if they were totally "normal" and just influenced by teenage hormones) I don't know how I would cope. It kind of ties in with the screaming/crying thing, but also with my tendency of not handling conflict well.
And the biggest reason...
- Lack of maternal instinct. I have never had a desire for children. I didn't even like playing with toy babies as a child. Instead of viewing babies as adorable, helpless mini-people and longing for one of my own, I view them as these obnoxious, foul, almost sub-human or alien creatures and want absolutely nothing to do with them. In fact, the mere sight of an infant is enough to cause me to get irritated, because I don't understand why everyone else loves them so.
That goes for me as well. The mere sight of a infant makes me nervous because I fear they will start crying, which hurts my sensitive ears. There are so many fears and 'what ifs' that come with parenthood that I think I should just avoid the whole thing all together. Parenthood is not for everyone. I don't hate children, but I can't see myself raising one.
_________________
I am Ashley. My pronouns are female.
Well, at the moment I'm child free coz I'm 16 and not a chav living in a council estate
But I plan to remain that way in the future, too, just because having kids is too stressful, no one will have a family with me anyway, I'll have a lot more freedom, and I'll have more money for myself.
When I was younger I loved babies. My dearest wish as a little girl was for my mum to have a baby that I could help take care of. I was obsessed with them. But I think it was more to do with a special interest I had in disposable nappies (the stickers and stitching fascinated me). Now, I don't really like kids and do everything I can to avoid them. They're not just loud and rude, they like to touch stuff and mess stuff up and I hate others to touch my things or move them. I think if a kid broke something precious of mine I'd want to whack them and physically throw them out into the street, then tell their mother never to set foot in my house again. It's that bad! It's a drag because my closest friends have started having kids and the thought of them visiting me sends me into paroxysms of anxiety. I just wish they could all remain childless like me.
I'm 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% sure I won't be having children. I don't have much of a maternal instinct. I just feel mildly revolted by babies and toddlers.
_________________
'You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me, one last time' (Breaking Benjamin)
I can't even keep up with my rather few (for my age) responsibilities towards myself without other people (my mum) keeping me organised, and there's no way I'd try to raise a child unless that changed. It'd never arrive anywhere or get its dinner on time or anything.
Have thought about donating my eggs though, to pass on my favourite characteristics to the next generation. Maybe I will when the technology exists to knock out the crappier genes I possess.
One of my biggest fears is my best friend getting pregnant. I'm afraid that if she has a baby, we won't be able to have fun together anymore. She won't be a "fun" friend anymore; she'll be the mother of a baby, and that changes people whether they realize it or not. I don't know how much of a chance there is of that happening because we're not close enough to discuss our sex lives with each other yet (though we did discuss sexual orientation once).
I'm not ever having kids for many reasons.
1 In order to have kids you have to be married
2 Kids are expensive!
3 I can't stand so much noise like babies crying
4 They can take up a lot of your time, and I don't have that time. I want my time for myself and my interests
5 I'd much rather have pets instead
6 Don't we already have enough people on this planet?
7 I never wanted kids to begin with, I hate kids
And many more
_________________
"Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." - Mark Twain