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DJFester
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30 Jul 2013, 1:21 am

For me, it's the other way around - others being jealous of me, for one reason or another. :shrug:


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auntblabby
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30 Jul 2013, 1:34 am

both being jealous of somebody and having somebody else be jealous of one, are uncomfortable feelings.



IdahoRose
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30 Jul 2013, 1:59 am

I'm insanely jealous of people who have more skill and/or talent when it comes to artwork. I partially blame school for making me so competitive over it. I remember that I entered an art contest once in junior high and got a consolation prize. :? It didn't help that my best friend was into art too and I always felt overshadowed by her.

Oddly enough, I'm not jealous at all when it comes to my other hobby of sewing plush toys. I do it for my own enjoyment, not to prove that I'm the best at it. I'm even able to appreciate and admire the plush toys of people who are more skilled than I am. In fact, I can often spend hours at a time lurking through the archives of DeviantArt to admire the plush toys that others have made. I think I am less competitive when it comes to plush-making because there were never any competitions for it in school and I never had any friends who were into it either, so I never felt upstaged.

I also get very jealous of anyone who spends time with my mom, or even inanimate objects that I believe take her time away from me (such as the TV) but I believe that I am getting better about it. I'm trying to remind myself that she has so many obligations to fulfill that it's both controlling and unreasonable to expect her to spend every second of her free time with me, and that she deserves to be happy doing things she enjoys (such as watching TV).



DJFester
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30 Jul 2013, 2:18 am

auntblabby wrote:
both being jealous of somebody and having somebody else be jealous of one, are uncomfortable feelings.


Definitely.


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equestriatola
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30 Jul 2013, 11:55 am

Does anybody have any advice about my jealousy for my sister getting married?


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Joe90
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30 Jul 2013, 12:01 pm

I always thought it was due to Autism but it isn't. I can prove that by saying, whenever I tell someone that I get glared at by other women, the answer is always ''they're probably jealous because you're attractive''. So that's the excuse of glaring at somebody.

But the jealousy that I feel I believe is related to my AS because I get bitter. I am an AS-hater and so I have always been bitter about everyone around me having a more interesting social life than me, and so it has always made me feel horribly jealous.

I suppose jealousy can be related to AS depending on the reason, but jealousy in itself is not just related to AS/Autism.


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Jasper1
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30 Jul 2013, 12:04 pm

I think jealousy is something that everyone goes through. Really don't know if AS or Aspies would be effected it by it more.

I suppose if you are unhappy with your life, you may be more prone to jealousy.

The only problems I have with jealousy is when people feel the need to act upon it. Either with comments or behaviors that are meant to put down or hurt the person they are jealous of while being completely unprovoked by them

Besides malicious showings of jealousy, I think it's probably pretty normal.



equestriatola
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30 Jul 2013, 2:06 pm

I'm not malicious, just a bit envied, or enviable, or....... what's the right word for that?


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Joe90
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30 Jul 2013, 3:33 pm

I have a lot of people being jealous of me, and I wish they knew how bad having this AS s**t makes my life.

I had a friend got jealous of me because I had saved money in my bank and she hadn't. She kept asking me to take out money from my bank but I said I didn't want to without my mum's permission (I was only 16 at the time). I could tell that this friend was jealous. Also she was a little bigger than me (I've always been very slim), and I knew she was jealous of that too because she always made me eat loads when I went to her house. After about a year I became too good for her so she got so jealous of me that we fell out.

You can't win when you're a woman. According to my mum, people laugh at fat people. According to people who I express how I feel to, people are jealous of young, slim, attractive girls (like me) and hate them for it. You can't win.


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Jasper1
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30 Jul 2013, 3:47 pm

I've experienced more jealousy thrown my way than me being jealous. My jealousy is often not very deep and goes away rather quickly.

Growing up I had a few pairs of nice sneakers. Some neighbor hood kids started tormenting me about them. One day in Junior High they actually circled me and demanded I take them off and give them to them. I didn't. I just kept walking away until they gave up.

Basically, any time I had something nice or of value there has to be somebody to comment about it in jealous way.

I've also had people jealous of me in regards to my hobby.

Sometimes the jealousy got so strong that some people would start crazy rumors about me just to make my life more difficult. Rumors that I've never been able to live down. My own family, primarily siblings have done this too.

Had to deal with people hating me because of this without even knowing me....hell...without me even knowing who they are, for most of my life.

If people could really see what my life was like, I don't think they would be jealous.

I've never understood the jealousy thrown my way. I was never rich. Grew up in a single parent household with minimal means. The few nice things I've had in life were ALL I had. That was it! Some nice sneakers, nice clothes once in awhile, and some electronics. Boo f*****g Hooo. Did knowing I had these few odds and ends really make your life so f*****g miserable you had to make mine as difficult as possible?? (directed at the people in question not anyone reading this.)



Last edited by Jasper1 on 30 Jul 2013, 4:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

babybird
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30 Jul 2013, 4:00 pm

I only got jealous one time that I can remember and I didn't really like it.


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auntblabby
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30 Jul 2013, 4:49 pm

being a hermit keeps one from seeing/hearing 99% of all the things that would make one jealous.



BenderRodriguez
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30 Jul 2013, 5:10 pm

I've never been jealous or envious. What other people have doesn't change in any way what I have or don't have. I've always focused on these. Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I never felt inclined to compare my life with others' on this basis, there could be an emotional "flaw" in the way I relate to others :?


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31 Jul 2013, 7:48 am

equestriatola wrote:
Does anybody have any advice about my jealousy for my sister getting married?


1. Remind yourself that over half of marriages end in divorce?

2. Make a choice to be happy for her. Choose to invoke positive attitudes about her "fortune" rather than feel ill about her having something you don't (I presume from your question that you're single).



oceandrop
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31 Jul 2013, 10:25 am

In a study mentioned in Attwood's book, people with AS score lower for envy/jealousy. There was even a little bar chart in the book showing the difference. It's related to theory of mind deficits.

I think jealousy is a conditioned behavior. Being taught to think that you lost or failed because somebody else was successful is mean, and in most cases illogical and untrue. Sadly it's common because so many people have this erroneous idea drummed in to their heads from such a young age.

equestriatola: It has nothing to do with her marriage. It is most likely some childhood experience(s) where some insensitive person made you feel less after your sister did something well. Quite possibly it was a parent who simply doesn't know any better and probably experienced the same thing in their childhood.