Emotional language? Theory of mind?

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A psychiatrist wrote, that I don´t seem to have an "emotional language", meaning, that, when asked about how I feel, I tend to reply by describing a situation. I have been critisized for that more than once.
I have become aware, that I simply assumed, that the person asking would deduct how I felt = I assumed, that everyone else would feel exactly like I did in a given situation.

Am I the only one doing/having done that, or is it the old ToM thing?

No, I know what you mean, I do exactly the same to be honest with you. I hate questions like 'how do you feel?'. They are loaded with various connotations and innuendos implying that you have to talk in an abstract language based on emotions that are entirely conceptual, which is highly difficult if you find it hard to deal with abstractions. I personally find doing so very difficult and therefore find it problematic to provide a summary of how I am feeling, thus like you I have to describe how I am feeling in reference to things I know physically exist, that I know are not conceptual. It's why I hate the question 'how are you?'. I never know how I feel generally. I know how i feel when I have done a particular thing and thus if you wish to know what that thing is, you are free to ask me. But when it comes to 'how are you?" questions, I really have no way of judging my general mood. Sorry this answer has been really moronic. I am really tired at the moment.

No, it more answers to questions like: "Why didn´t you like that", "why did you think so" or "why did you react like that?" in therapy or conversations about problematic situations.
I thought, that describing a situation would tell all about my feelings, as clear as daylight, as if anybody would react exactly like myself.
Yes, it was/is really a way of trying to wiggle my way around the difficult task of explaining, - with all the layers and connotations, that comes to mind, making everything far to complicated to formulate in a comprehensible language, here and now.

Jensen, between my insurance company and I, probably a hundred thousand dollars was spent for a diagnosis I never received. I finally gave up on the whole venture in despair when my exasperated psychiatrist told me she couldn't help me if I didn't "open up and talk" to her about what I felt. I didn't know what she meant then, and still don't.

Unless we're talking about a simple problem or getting a permission slip to buy medications, doctors are a bunch of nasty, useless, overpaid primadonnas.

hey...you are expected to be able to identify your emotions according to a number of commonly recognised ones:

happiness, sadness, anger, disappointment, joy, enthusiasm, suspicion, blah blah blah
so for example
Why didn´t you like that - you could say /Because it made me feel like an idiot/a star/ a failure/ a creep etc etc

"why did you think so" - this one is difficult as I too would also just describe the situation

or "why did you react like that?" - here again you have to define your own personality in that given scenario by using emotional descriptives as goal posts; so you'd say something like /Because I felt angry/ or /Because I felt they were making fun of me/ etc.

The thing is, everyone is actually different in the way they process information because we all have a slightly different code 'up here' so while in broad terms it looks similar, when you get to the nuances, it differs - for example you may feel offended at something someone says while I would just find it funny or vice versa.


Hope this helps a bit. I also find it really difficult to even know what I am feeling let alone describe it verbally so that other people can understand but the language is our only officially recognised method of communication with each other so we have to make as much use of it as we can.

I definitely have a problem explaining myself. It doesn't matter what the subject is. I guess I see so many possibilities that I can't describe from only one angle, then I sit there wondering now which part do I say first, and it always seems to be the wrong choice. Talk about you confidence being knocked down.

I wish that information could simply flow out of me withou offending every random stranger out there. What seems so "simple" to everyone else, seems so complex to me. I'm not going to say that I am good at all complex situations, but I do seem to do well when something is complex for those that see it as difficult. I don't know why that is.

It might be that most people do share a common "emotional language," but that if you have that's different (describing a situation) then it is seen as not having one at all. IOW, a TOM failure, but on the NT side.

It might be that most people do share a common "emotional language," but that if you have that's different (describing a situation) then it is seen as not having one at all. IOW, a TOM failure, but on the NT side.