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Wags
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15 Oct 2013, 2:08 pm

Every since I was little I can remember a strong dislike of being alone. For instance I always have the TV on so I feel "Connected" To the world when i'm sitting in my room alone. Although I enjoy being alone more than being with others, I still kind of "fear" it.

I hate being alone at night especially, it makes me very paranoid and also depressed.

Can anyone else relate?

Also does anyone else get frustrated when you talk to someone and they don't respond how you want it or talk to you in a manner that you prefer if that makes any sense?

Thank You.



auntblabby
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15 Oct 2013, 2:14 pm

sometimes being alone is the lesser of two evils.



silentlyvela
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15 Oct 2013, 2:19 pm

I like being left alone. I prefer it.



WerewolfPoet
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15 Oct 2013, 2:27 pm

When I first saw the title of this thread, I laughed a little inside-- I find no fault in solitude and have been described by many people as "unsociable."

The TV illustration does bring up an interesting point, however, about connectedness; I have a "rich inner fantasy life" and am thus constantly connected to my imaginary friends. In that way, I am never truly "alone."

Solitude does not make me paranoid or depressed in "safe" situations, such as being at home, on campus, or in a familiar setting; if I am somewhere unfamiliar or doing something new, however, then I prefer to have other people around for reference.

Quote:
Also does anyone else get frustrated when you talk to someone and they don't respond how you want it or talk to you in a manner that you prefer if that makes any sense?


This depends on my overall mood at that moment, but I do sometimes become unsettled when I receive an unexpected response, especially if the response is to my disadvantage (this, of course, is completely normal within the human population).


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Noetic
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15 Oct 2013, 2:39 pm

Not at all, although generally when going somewhere unfamiliar I find it easier to have someone I can tag on to and copy as I get overwhelmed.



Wags
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15 Oct 2013, 2:42 pm

I'm sure my "Fear" of being alone has to go along with my anxiety issues, and the part of me that enjoys being alone more than others goes along with AS.



redrobin62
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15 Oct 2013, 2:57 pm

<--- Loves being alone. In fact, spends most of his time perfecting the science of loneliness.



auntblabby
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15 Oct 2013, 2:59 pm

I would prefer being around somebody sympatico but it looks like solitude is the only realistic option available to me.



sonofghandi
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15 Oct 2013, 3:05 pm

I love being alone
-most of the time.

But when I am uncomfortable with my aloneness, it gets really, really bad.

I never actually felt lonely when I was younger. It wasn't until my mid-twenties, after I had been living with my girlfriend (now wife), when I first discovered what loneliness was. I never understood it until someone that I had somehow gotten wrapped up in was gone for a few weeks.


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saimand
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15 Oct 2013, 3:17 pm

I love being left alone...I hate being misunderstood :(



Adamantium
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15 Oct 2013, 4:01 pm

Wags wrote:
Every since I was little I can remember a strong dislike of being alone. For instance I always have the TV on so I feel "Connected" To the world when i'm sitting in my room alone. Although I enjoy being alone more than being with others, I still kind of "fear" it.

I hate being alone at night especially, it makes me very paranoid and also depressed.

Can anyone else relate?

Also does anyone else get frustrated when you talk to someone and they don't respond how you want it or talk to you in a manner that you prefer if that makes any sense?

Thank You.


Yes, I can be exactly like this.

Not all the time--but often. I remember when my mother told me the myth of the great god Pan and how one could feel his presence when alone in the wood. I understood immediately that they were talking about the feeling I knew well.

But it's more complicated. I have a weird sense of place. Some places seem friendly and I am at ease in them. Other places seem malevolent. I can't explain this. But I have been in some of the peaceful places at ease in solitude and suddenly become afraid when I realized other people had arrived in that safe place, making it dangerous. I have even hidden and waited for the interlopers to leave, so I could be alone with the sky and the non-human life beneath it.

But I have done the radio thing when alone in a house, yes. Not to listen to, but for company or a grounding presence of some kind.



gretchyn
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15 Oct 2013, 4:07 pm

Nope. I prefer to be alone as much as possible.



questor
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15 Oct 2013, 4:16 pm

I am a hermit type of person. I love being alone. Being with people bothers me. Fortunately, I can handle being with family occasionally, and can handle going shopping, running errands, etc. Other than that, I have no "in person" social life. Like WerewolfPoet, I have a rich fantasy life, with a number of different "universes." This is fine for me. When I finally was able to live on my own, and moved away from the area I had been living in, I did have a period of adjustment. I left a music CD or a radio station playing all night for several weeks, but I was fine during the day. Even when I lived with relatives I was a hermit. I spent most of the time by myself, so I had no real trouble getting used to living alone. I much prefer it. Living with other people wasn't good for me. We all drove each other crazy.

I do understand that some people are more comfortable with other people around. I just wish that "people" persons could understand that some people prefer going solo. My younger brother's ex-fiancee couldn't stand to be alone, and would make him drop her off at the mine and my mother's apartment when he would go to work, as he worked a short distance from us. Or she would call us to come stay with her for the day. It was a pain to have to cater to her on an almost daily basis, as it interfered with any plans we might have. My mother wasn't about to say no, though, as she wanted to see my little nephew. Eventually my brother and his girlfriend broke up. Her parents got custody of my nephew, and my mother and I got custody of the dog. :lol:

I also have to deal with my father, who is definitely a people person, and he can't accept that some people like being solo. He is convinced that introverted, hermit types are automatically unhappy because they are not with other people much. He thinks the only way to be happy is to be with other people, and keeps trying to get me to socialize. I am in my mid 50s and too old to change from a hermit into a social butterfly. Why should I? I like being alone.

Don't worry about liking being with people, but do try to get used to sometimes being alone, as sometimes it can't be avoided. Just find ways to keep occupied when you are alone, maybe use headphones to play music, or use an I-pod or MP3 player, or phone or tablet to listen to the radio, especially at night when it seems to bother you the most. There are ways to deal with solitude if it bugs you, just as there are ways to dealing with being with people some of the time for those of us who prefer solitude.

Anyway, good luck with this! :D



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15 Oct 2013, 4:36 pm

I love my alone time, I can tootle around indulging my hobbies in peace and quiet. However, I do feel lonely when I don't share a bond with anyone. I would very much like a loving partner and a very close friend whom I share some interests with. I do not require anymore social contacts than this. I hate having people around me all the time though, but I don't need to constantly be with someone to be bonded with them.



Asperger96
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15 Oct 2013, 4:55 pm

I don't know which possibility I hate more: Being alone or Being surrounded by people



Opi
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15 Oct 2013, 5:10 pm

sometimes i certainly get lonely, but the only time i actually get depressed about being alone is when i unconsciously associate it with being worthless or unloveable.

most of the time i enjoy it, but like anything in life i think it requires balance. it's just that my balance-point is significantly farther over on the "alone" side than your average NT.

i really look forward to moving to a more metropolitan area - i hate cities but i hope to be able to hook up with some aspies who will intuitively understand my need for limiting contact and not take it to mean i'm antisocial, which i really am not. i'm more... asocial.


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