Page 6 of 7 [ 106 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next

pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

01 Nov 2013, 11:05 pm

It seems the ones who hate it have jobs and are probably around people more, and so don't have much downtime.

I'd probably be driven crazy if I have to work, because I can't work.

I have epilepsy too. And it's always a surprise to see how worried people become after I casually tell them I had a seizure. Yeah yeah, paralyzed, again, waist down. For about an hour. And then I will uncomfortably wriggle.

I know I'm in the wrong situation. People won't even believe I have autism. Of course, I shouldn't expect anything less from someone who denies their diagnosis's except when they want people to not be so angry with them.


_________________
My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
My personal blog - http://helptheywantmetosocialise.wordpress.com/


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,000
Location: Maidstone, UK

02 Nov 2013, 12:27 pm

Quote:
Just as a matter of interest, what are your interests? Just curious, wondering if an outsider's perspective might help to find some potential utility in them. If I'm being too nosy, tell me to back off.


Well my ''Aspie'' obsession is bus-drivers. Not how buses are made, not memorizing routes, just the people that drive the buses in a particular company. I would be a bus-driver, but it involves dealing with the public, and I will get people asking ''but if you can deal with passengers then how come you get really anxious about dealing with customers in a shop?'' Also I'll have to have a lot of experience to be a bus-driver, which could take me years to build up, since I am slow at learning things and gaining confidence. Then by the time I do pass all those tests, I'll probably lose interest by then and not want to do it. I think I would love to work somewhere where I have to get a bus to - but then I'll get people lecturing me like anything, because everybody says that a local job is always best, so why give up my local job to work somewhere where I got to travel?


Quinntilda wrote:
I agree with this person. I hate it too. Im not on the so really bad side of it but I still hate it. I get nervous when people bring it up because I always think someone knows my deepest darkest secret. If that happens my mom will say you're actually the one bringing it up. (The only other person I talk about it with). People are trying to get me to do other things that people with out a disability do which is what I want but its hard for someone with epilepsy also. ( At least people understand that and its not like the Cant see any thing wrong with you just being a__________.) I cant stand the ones Lumping all aspies together saying us or we as if im part of a group or family with them. I wasn't built by Aspergers either. (LIke those aspie agenda people want me to think) I made it where I am by working hard and doing it right. I hate people saying to me its all because of AS (the few who know) like working "Wow I never people with AS could do flooring so well (why didn't the other guy get praised for doing the job better then me). or one time my mom said "He has AS so he is angry (why don't people care the guy sitting next to me just dropped the F-bomb after receiving the same bad news All I did was shake my head in disbelief)". If people still think its good then I don't know what to say maybe it works for you but I cant live being the one who is on the other side. I feel like I have to lie to feel confident in life.


I agree with you - especially about the bit in bold. That's how I've been feeling about my AS being said out loud in front of people.

The next time I start in a job, I'm going to tell the people in the office about my condition, but ask them to keep it confidential in the office. I feel more comfortable in just telling people I have a learning disability in those words, rather than telling everyone the specific information all the time. I've learnt that it doesn't pay you to be too specific. I feel that by telling people I just have a learning disability is far less embarrassing, because then people just take you as they find you, knowing that ''learning disability'' can mean anything. By knowing that you have Asperger's Syndrome or an Autism Spectrum Disorder just sounds too specific for a high-functioning, verbal person on the spectrum, and people who don't know much about it just assume you have all these stereotypes, without getting to know you first. And I don't have any of the AS stereotypes. I don't suddenly have a meltdown on the floor when stressed, and I don't start flapping my hands about, and I don't take everything literally. The list goes on.


_________________
Female
Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder
Empathy score: 61 out of a possible 80. (High)


CharityFunDay
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2013
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 625

02 Nov 2013, 12:57 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Well my ''Aspie'' obsession is bus-drivers. Not how buses are made, not memorizing routes, just the people that drive the buses in a particular company. I would be a bus-driver, but it involves dealing with the public, and I will get people asking ''but if you can deal with passengers then how come you get really anxious about dealing with customers in a shop?'' Also I'll have to have a lot of experience to be a bus-driver, which could take me years to build up, since I am slow at learning things and gaining confidence. Then by the time I do pass all those tests, I'll probably lose interest by then and not want to do it. I think I would love to work somewhere where I have to get a bus to - but then I'll get people lecturing me like anything, because everybody says that a local job is always best, so why give up my local job to work somewhere where I got to travel?


Well, from here, that sounds like an eminently reasonable and achievable goal.

And as for working with the public, the interaction required to handle change and print off a ticket is pretty minimal and predictable, so I wouldn't worry about hypothetical questions that might never get asked in the first place: Only you can know what level of social engagement is practical for you.

I don't think you need much experience to become a bus-driver, most of it is down to passing the practical requirements of the test to get your enhanced licence, and you then gain experience on the job, so to speak:

https://www.gov.uk/become-lorry-bus-driver

You say you might lose interest while pursuing this idea: Well, I suppose you might, but if it has been a persistent preoccupation of yours for some time, then I'd suggest you probably wouldn't.



Skilpadde
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,019

03 Nov 2013, 2:00 am

pensieve wrote:
Seriously people, we need more ADHD friendly posts.

Leave spaces between paragraphs. My struggling brain thanks you in advance.


Is that an ADHD thing? The hyperactive kind or ADHD-PI? Aren't aspies supposed to have a problem with that?

I'm wondering because I'm not into text walls either, I need spaces between paragraphs too. I don't have a problem with long texts, but with the lack of space. And just for the record, I like reading.

For that reason I don't want an e-reader or Kindle. I need pages. I hate reading the Kindle versions of Amazon's "look inside", the versions based on the paper version are so much more reader friendly!


_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy


CaptainTrips222
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,100

03 Nov 2013, 11:16 am

Forevernuts wrote:

This is not a blessing, it's a curse.


It depends on what types of symptoms you have, and how impairing they are. I think over time the diagnoses will be broken down into sub categories. Some are far worse than others.



Alita
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2013
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 901
Location: Surrounded by water

06 Feb 2014, 2:42 am

This thing really bugs me too: 'If you can do X, why can't you do Y? It's basically the same thing.'

It's not the same thing to someone with a different neurological make-up. For example, answering the phone is not the same as answering an e-mail; there are completely different skills involved. It would be like an AS person asking a NT buddy: 'If you can kiss that guy you just met on the cheek, why can't you kiss him on the mouth? It's basically the same thing.'

The little pigeon-holes NTs group stuff into are based on a system of logic defined by them; i.e. others of the same neurological make-up.


_________________
"There once was a little molecule who dreamed of being part of the crest of a high wave..."
(From the story 'The Little Molecule' - Amazon Kindle, 2013)


vickygleitz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jul 2013
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,757
Location: pueblo colorado

06 Feb 2014, 1:05 pm

Between kids and grand kids, there are 11. They are all amazingly good looking [how do I know I am not being prejudiced? Because this is a common scenario: Person, THESE are your kids/grandkids?They are so beautiful.[look at me with a furrowed brow] They must take after your late husband! They are all funny. They are all kind and giving and intelligent.

My NT granddaughters and daughter, though, seem to have their own fan clubs. My daughter jokingly says that she has a "rich persons problem" in that so many nice [and rich, and all the keywords for succesful catch] men are madly in love with her.People come upand ask for her autograph when she goes to California or back east because they figure she MUST be someone. People love her bubbliness and, well, everything, Oldest granddaughter, it's the same.

Middle son is probably the least physically attractive of my kids [still very nice looking] and women also fall at his feet. He is the type who goes to 4 job interviews and gets 5 job offers out of it. he goes to a professional sports game and the next day he is dating one of the cheerleaders.

Now we get to the autistic kids and grandkids. one beautiful, sweet,kind, talented and intelligent grand daughters gets asked out fairly often,but, OOPS,it's just a joke. And HAhaha, how could SHE think ANYONE would want to date a pig like HER. Just like me [and why do they still do this?] she hates when teams are chosen because she is invariably the last one chosen. We go to see her in a class production. When the other kids turn to the left, well, she turns to the right. And I hear the other kids snigger about it afterwards. But Wait! One of the 'popular"girls also turned to the right,and that is so cute and cool. For her. Not for my grandaughter.

ALL of my kids and grandkids are involved in feeding the homeless in Denver. They all have hearts for those who are hurting. The reaction by other kids? Well. with my popular NT kids, that is just one more thing that makes them so awesome! For my autistic kids, one more weird thing about them [" what are you trying to catch some disease? No, aren't you afraid of giving THEM some disease?"

This all saddens me. This all sickens me. This makes me uncomfortably aware that I can [and do] have fantasies about "getting back" at anyone [including other children] who hurt my babies.

My kids and grand kids are all beyond amazing. Each and every one of them is by far my favorite [in their own way] There is no reason that my kids should have to wish they were "normal." None! I just wish they would be allowed to be themselves without being punished for it. It'snot the neurology of the autistics that needs to change.
I better go before I get pissed [er]



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,000
Location: Maidstone, UK

06 Feb 2014, 1:16 pm

I wish I were normal.

OR

If I have to live with this curse, I wish I naturally had a different attitude towards it. And no, it is not something that I can change tomorrow. I could try hard to make myself see life as an Aspie in a different light, but then suddenly an unexpected bout of depression will come over me and I'll suddenly fall back into my old attitude again, and all the anger will probably build up underneath and then come all out when the sudden bout of depression comes. Who knows, it might make me do bad things, like go on a rampage, punishing everybody who have it better than me. No, I don't have it in me to murder, thank God for that. But I would love to push people over who are luckier than me. But I know it's not acceptable and deep down I would never want to make anyone feel upset like that.

Or I just wish I were normal. Somebody without Asperger's. I think I was going to be normal - until I had the stupid MMR injection. Yes I do strongly believe that it was that what caused me to have Asperger's. I just know it. I often feel like I was supposed to be an NT. I can feel the NT I was supposed to be inside me, screaming to get out. This is why I get so depressed over lack of social relationships. It is the only thing what I get depressed about. I just wish these social issues would go away. I hate all the other symptoms of Asperger's too, but I think if I could demolish one symptom, it would be the social awkwardness.


_________________
Female
Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder
Empathy score: 61 out of a possible 80. (High)


54together
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 374
Location: England

06 Feb 2014, 1:24 pm

I hate being autistic. In fact, I'd do anything to trade my life for a neurotypical's. I'd like to say I don't have it, but I have to, because, you know, people would call me a looney, cold-hearted oddball.
I don't understand what can be good about it. It makes living a nightmare sometimes.
The 'good things' I have can be found in NTs as well.


_________________
I'm sailing across Spectrum Sea, in my little boat.
The waters of the port were choppy. After I set off, there was a long, massive storm.
Years later, however, the sea calmed. I'm still on tranquil sea, but I'll never reach the Neurotypical Beach.


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,000
Location: Maidstone, UK

06 Feb 2014, 1:29 pm

54together wrote:
I hate being autistic. In fact, I'd do anything to trade my life for a neurotypical's. I'd like to say I don't have it, but I have to, because, you know, people would call me a looney, cold-hearted oddball.
I don't understand what can be good about it. It makes living a nightmare sometimes.
The 'good things' I have can be found in NTs as well.


I agree.

I have strengths and weaknesses. The weaknesses of mine are similar to what an extremely shy person with learning difficulties would most likely have. My strengths are what the average person has. I am not particularly clever at anything. They say everyone is clever in their own way, which includes me I suppose, but whatever I am clever at does not define me as a genius or a gifted person or a person with genius traits. I am just intellectually average.


_________________
Female
Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder
Empathy score: 61 out of a possible 80. (High)


Ashariel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,779
Location: US

06 Feb 2014, 1:37 pm

Parts I enjoy:
• obsessing over my special interests
• being introverted, not caring about having a 'social life'

Parts I don't enjoy:
• inability to focus a lot of the time
• basic life skills are a struggle
• sleep problems



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,000
Location: Maidstone, UK

06 Feb 2014, 5:36 pm

I don't believe that NTs have it great with a stress-free life. I just want to be NT because it's the neurological majority and it makes life easier in that respect.

Just imagine you living as a fly in a bee's nest. Sure you can fly just like the bees, but life is still awkward living among bees and having to do everything the bee way otherwise you're an outcast, and you've either got to learn to put up being an outcast or you'll get depression over it. You won't be able to make honey like your bee friends, although you could learn.

OK the analogy is not relavent to logical real life but you can still imagine.


_________________
Female
Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder
Empathy score: 61 out of a possible 80. (High)


ZombieBrideXD
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jan 2013
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,507
Location: Canada

06 Feb 2014, 6:38 pm

for me its a description of the many issues i have. it is what it is.


_________________
Obsessing over Sonic the Hedgehog since 2009
Diagnosed with Aspergers' syndrome in 2012.
Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 severity without intellectual disability and without language impairment in 2015.

DA: http://mephilesdark123.deviantart.com

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 170 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 43 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


qawer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,252

06 Feb 2014, 6:44 pm

Being a cat in a dog's world ain't easy.

But would a cat ever seriously contemplate that he would rather have been a dog?

Personally, I think a cat has too much integrity for that, he is a king, but only as long as he acknowledges and fully accepts his innate nature.

The only thing that could ever truly take away his integrity and desire to live was giving in, by denying it.



Skilpadde
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,019

06 Feb 2014, 7:36 pm

Well, I for one definitely feel more like a cat-dog (dog-cat) hybrid than a cat, and given an actual opportunity I would pick being a dog any day. Nothing would make me happier than waking up one day to the news that they had found a cure.


_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy


BrandonSP
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jul 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,286
Location: Fallbrook, CA

06 Feb 2014, 9:04 pm

While I can certainly relate to the sentiments expressed in "I hate AS" posts, I for one don't find them encouraging at all. I don't want to believe I'm a lesser or defective human being as a consequence of AS. I'd love to believe it has some kind of silver lining that I can exploit to my own advantage. At least let it be something I can overcome.


_________________
Check out my art for sale over at Society6, dudes!