Do you go non-verbal/selectively mute comfortably?

Post Reply New Topic

I relate to everything on this thread. (Except for the deaf stuff, because I'm not.)

I haven't spoken yet today (it's 12:30 pm) because yesterday I had to speak a lot.

I'm lonely but I don't feel like opening my mouth.

I go mute when I am highly anxious. It goes in stages-firstly, I start to stammer, then there is a ridiculously long pause between each word as I try and get them out, then it goes to not being able to form words at all and only vocalisations and then it goes to being completely mute. It is a hindrance when trying to discuss issues at work. The last time I had to speak to my manager about issues I was having with another member of staff, it took me 15 minutes to get 8 words out (compulsively tearing and chewing paper in between each word as that is one of my behaviours when stressed) before he took pity on me and said he knew what it was I was trying to say because he had heard it from someone else anyway.

One other example of my kind of 'selective mutism' is when you're silent because you're hyper focused on something and don't want to break your concentration by talking but are fine with listening to the person.
I find the communication troublesome, rarely anxiety inducing. But I find being forced to speak the part that begins to induce anxiety after it begins to fatigue me.

I feel sympathy for you more anxious type ones. =[ It sounds horrible.

I have real problems with verbal communication so I tend to stay silent. I have a real hard time starting conversations and sometimes when I do talk I talk too fast and it comes out as slurred mess of words

I don't "select" times I can't talk. When I can't talk, I desperately want to talk but my jaw locks up painfully and sometimes I make random noises, like a caged animal. It usually happens in the middle of communication. There isn't really any trigger or predictability, and if I'm able to move, I try to drag myself to a computer to access type to speech.

This is actually the state I'm most comfortable in. When I have to engage in conversation my anxiety skyrockets, I shake, I can't think straight and I break out in a cold sweat. Unfortunately, silence is NOT considered golden in social interactions. I'm 56 years old and still waiting for the panic to subside.

Hello.

I am 50 years old and I was diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder 10 years ago.

Up until now, I have never been 'selectively mute'...quite the opposite; I was very opinionated and outspoken. Problem was, I kept saying things that other people either didn't want to hear, or were not ready to hear. Yeah, 'brutal honesty' according to ME.

Every time I opened my mouth, my foot became firmly wedged within it...every time and my attempts to try and talk myself out of it, only kept on digging my grave deeper.

I also experience communication problems in general, where the majority of people find it very difficult to understand the words I use and 'dumbing it down' becomes an exercise in futility.

I also have a very negative and pessimistic attitude, being that nothing positive has ever happened in my life to change my attitude and everything negative has happened just to re-enforce it...thus, I cannot help being like I am...but everybody else calls me a 'drama queen' and abuse me for 'wallowing in self-pity'. The majority of people really hate me and don't want to have anything to do with me...period!

It all came to a head yesterday when my family started yelling at me for being an 'unappreciative sponge and a strain on their lives' and I was basically told to 'get out'.

Every time I open my mouth, it costs me money (in terms of lawsuits, restitution, finding accommodation) etc etc...

So, today I made the decision to become totally mute (except for a few online fora).

My background in meditation should help out, as well as the fact I have been socially isolated for years.

Becoming mute, is a matter of survival for me and I can definitely see the benefits of totally shutting up (I also lost my 'ego' years ago, without having anybody else around to inflate it constantly).

I'm also seeking respite services at the moment to give my family a break from caring for me (LFA)...I am looking at a nursing home, but they are all very expensive.

So now, I live in my car, I speak no more.... I may as well be dead (I am just waiting to die, actually).

I sometimes choose not to use language. But, the majority of times I don't use language I can't use language. It's not something that comes easy to me. It took me a very long time to learn it, and it's one of the first skills to go for me when I'm stressed.

Quan, I totally get understand what you are saying, as in choosing not to speak, which is now called elective mutism. The selective is now when you cannot speak, for whatever reason. I say these things as I had to just check it out on the web last night. It's a thing I've always done-elective and selective mutism but hadn't looked into. It is so interesting for me to find your post on this.