can you stand up for yourself?

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On the whole I think I do pretty well in defending myself, though it's a flaky skill, sometimes I'm magnificent, other times I let people get away with too much. I didn't vote because I don't know how to objectively compare myself to neurotypicals. Certainly I see myself as having problems with assertiveness, though I might just be being too perfectionist about it. I tend to feel I've wimpishly allowed myself to be walked over if I haven't shown an aggressor who is boss in no uncertain terms. Then later I realise that I probably struck a wise balance. But there are many times when people have done things I didn't like, and I haven't said. I guess that's normal social discretion.

The hardest challenges are when I'm trying to support my partner while she tries to tackle unhelpful service providers. She would likely get more help if she were more assertive herself, but she's much better at fathoming the complicated ramifications of some of these situations than I am, so I often don't fully appreciate what's going on at the time, and although I'm itching to wade in and punch some of these intransigent bastards on her behalf, I don't want to hit out at the wrong issue and risk a damaging counter-attack, and I don't want to end up playing the sexist white knight either. She can get frighteningly stressed out when these interviews with officialdom aren't working out, so it's really frustrating when I can't do more than put my hand on her shoulder and glare at the bureaucrats, and I feel like a broken record saying "keep calm, you're doing well." But in spite of all that, she does pretty well, and she insists that I'm very helpful, so maybe I'm just too hard on myself. Just once, though, I'd love to personally catch them pulling a fast one and successfully call them out for it on her behalf. It's all benefit / service related matters, and they've often treated her like dirt, like they do with most people, and often there's not a lot we can immediately do to fix them. We discuss battle tactics a lot, and I feel more helpful there, I point out things she hasn't seen.

I'd like to encourage all of you to be leaders. Most of us enjoy gaming, one thing you can do is with multiplayer and in particular team based online games is take a leading role. If people are unorganised bring order. Do it in chat. Many people are wimps I've found today not even able to speak their minds. Just be smart and wise. Not only will this boost your confidence through teamwork improved gameplay will result actually allowing more wins and fun. Its one reason why I colead my clan in starcitizen I like the challenge and responsibility.

Classic examples of self defense feature objective morality, emotional restraint, mental inertia, and a tolerance for punishment.

I would like to think of these as autistic mannerisms.

They have gotten me in to and out of trouble.

But, I would say that I am better than average at standing up for myself, in the same respect that I am better than average at remembering numbers and rules.

I feel like there should be a better then average option also

I really can't stand up for myself. If someone says something to me (which happens a lot, sadly), I usually will burst into tears. I need to get better at it.

I usually do ok when I have time to rehearse what I'm going to say. If it's right in the moment I have trouble though because I'm not always sure of what other people's intentions are and I don't always know what to say. If I do know what to say then I don't always know what the consequences would be or how to respond to them. It also depends on how bad the situation is and if it's worth the energy.

Usually I can if it is obvious that I need to, sometimes though I dont realise that someone is picking on me until after the fact.

I'm pretty damn bad at it, and usually need to be pushed into it. I think fear gets in the way.

It's frustrating when people say that you need to stand up for yourself, but then don't explain how.

If I am forced to or am cornered, then in a crude manner I can stand up for myself. but i'd really rather sidestep those situations.

Confidence is a big part of it. You can gain confidence from playing games ive learnt, its quite easy. Most 'noobs' are quite disorganized

Generally we are superior players 'not counting asian's who have machine brains'

Once you've started to gain enough confidence translate this into real life, what would you do how would you best handle a situation given a short amount of time. That's atleast some of the things ive been thinking about lately. Maybe its my age and reaching a maturity point 'men mature slower'

Dont forget, whilst we have socializing difficulty's 'atleast most aspies do inc me' we can reason our ways around problems in ways Neurotypicals cant even fathom.

Yep.

Road raging homophobe made his rude comments.

Me: Touch me and I'm going to tear you apart. (He was an overweight redneck, I've done more than 40,000 pushups in the last year)

Him: You think so?

Me: I KNOW so.

Him: Walks back to his truck and leaves.

F that guy.



Coworker who recently got fired for not being a team player.. AT ALL. Anyways, I was helping him carry a heavy door and he made a really rude comment about me "trying to think," and that I shouldn't try to think etc so I asked him if he was serious, he said yes, so I told him he was being an Ahole and I wasn't going to help him if he thinks he can talk down to me like that and I left him there holding the door waiting for someone else to give him a hand.

I'm not a jerk, but I won't let anyone walk all over me.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

In most situations it's never been a problem for me. Actually I could learn to stand up for myself less because I'm quick to go on the counter attack.

When it comes to loved ones, I'll give them endless leash and they can use it to walk all over me and destroy me, particularly if that someone is a woman.

For me it's hardest to figure out when I should be standing up for myself rather than if I can or will

I can stand up for myself in certain situations or with certain people. I think I'm worse than average at it. I'm quite passive.

I don't let people mess with me. It doesn't matter if they are NT or Aspie or of another race, gender, bodytype.

To me, the life lesson seems to be, “If you’re ever able to stand up for yourself to someone, it’ll be cowardly of you to do so, because you wouldn’t have the balls to stand up to someone stronger and meaner”.