Page 1 of 1 [ 10 posts ] 

beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,244

09 Nov 2013, 2:51 pm

I'm feeling so much pain inside, I'm starting to groan to self-soothe. :(



beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,244

09 Nov 2013, 2:53 pm

My head is full of fog, too.



bumble
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,073

09 Nov 2013, 3:32 pm

I get that, its horrible.

What soothes you when you are feeling that way?



BeggingTurtle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,374
Location: New England

09 Nov 2013, 4:11 pm

Wat?

Is something wrong?


_________________
Shedding your shell can be hard.
Diagnosed Level 1 autism, Tourettes + ADHD + OCD age 9, recovering Borderline personality disorder (age 16)


beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,244

09 Nov 2013, 5:47 pm

I think it was the gender dysphoria. Also, I don't think I had gotten a full night's sleep last night and had only rice (with little protein this morning). At my lunch break, I took a nap and ate some yogurt, and actually now feel a bit better. :)



beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,244

10 Nov 2013, 9:15 am

I'm feeling painful again. :(



beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,244

10 Nov 2013, 5:02 pm

I'm feeling painful again. Everything around me seems so pointless and stupid. I'm doing code academy, and now it seems stupid, a waste of time. I hate everybody and everything.



Opi
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 401
Location: East coast at the moment

10 Nov 2013, 5:16 pm

i feel bad today too, my thoughts are with you. at least you got a couple of things accomplished. i know it doesn't feel like much but i find it keeps bad feelings from getting worse.

hopelessness sounds like depression. i feel it right now too. it's hard to hang on to when you feel all alone, but it is a perspective, not a reality. that's why i posted here today. i desperately need people to be in contact with and can't even face anyone IRL i feel so messed up.

i hope you find some stimming that helps.


_________________
161 Aspie / 51 NT - Aspie Quiz (very likely an aspie)
36 - AS Quotient
115 aloof, 123 rigid, 89 prag - Aut/BAP
24 - HSP / ADD Quiz- 41, Inattention: 24, Hyperactive/Impulsive: 17
"Odd and different is beautiful" -- Tyra Banks


beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,244

10 Nov 2013, 5:50 pm

Opi wrote:
i feel bad today too, my thoughts are with you. at least you got a couple of things accomplished. i know it doesn't feel like much but i find it keeps bad feelings from getting worse.

hopelessness sounds like depression. i feel it right now too. it's hard to hang on to when you feel all alone, but it is a perspective, not a reality. that's why i posted here today. i desperately need people to be in contact with and can't even face anyone IRL i feel so messed up.

i hope you find some stimming that helps.


Thanks. However, my main problem, gender dysphoria, is not likely to be solved anytime soon.



beneficii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2005
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,244

11 Nov 2013, 12:29 am

I'm feeling painful again. I'm heading to a career transition meeting tomorrow evening. I know how I'm going to feel when I arrive. I'm going to feel pain and I'm going to hate everybody there. I'm going to hate everybody there, because if those people were given the power to make the decision on whether I would be covered for sex reassignment surgery, I would know that everyone would want to deny it.

Maybe I would improve over the course of the meeting as I would be engaged, but still I would come away with it disappointed, with a bunch of vague questions and still no clear path.