What kind of father does this? Need advice

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Neonhusky
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11 Nov 2013, 1:30 am

I am VERY depressed right now because my father decided that because he was mad at me it was a good idea to grab me, open the front door, scream at me, push me out, then close the door leaving me freezing out in the cold at 6:00 at night. He yelled at me to come in about 2-4 minutes later, but i didn't want to be anywhere near him so i ended up out there for about 8 minutes. Before that he made me stand in the corner awhile, then i muttered something and then he made me go back to the corner before doing the above. What really annoys me is my sister never has to stand in the corner for longer then a minute even if she mutters afterwards. In fact, she gets to SIT in the corner everytime for about 30 seconds-a minute. :cry:



Also, he recently had a talk with me and screamed and i quote

"WHY DONT YOU JUST SHUT UP AND BE NORMAL?"

He also said that my sister is an angel and i am miserable to be around, and although he loves me cuz im his kid he rarely ever likes me. :cry:


What should i say to him now? He wont say sorry and i dont know what to do.



felinesaresuperior
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11 Nov 2013, 4:21 am

but why did he do it? what happened before that? and is that the first time he did something like that?
you can't be normal, neither can i or anyone else on this forum. my parents couldnt accept me the way i am either. are you old enough to live on your own? i'm much happier ever since i started living alone.



goldfish21
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11 Nov 2013, 4:43 am

don't say anything to him. he's not in a good mood that's going to result in a productive conversation anyways.

sounds like he's just overwhelmed and frustrated and angrily saying things he doesn't really truly mean. the best thing you could possibly do about it is forgive him, silently to yourself, as if you don't hold a grudge against him for his words it can't continue to upset you. so, really, forgiving others is for you - not them - that's why you don't even need to tell them you forgive them, you just do it & mean it and then you can move on mentally and not waste any time or energy dwelling on that past situation that you could be using to move yourself forward in any way.


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ASPartOfMe
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11 Nov 2013, 5:54 am

felinesaresuperior wrote:
but why did he do it? what happened before that? and is that the first time he did something like that?
you can't be normal, neither can i or anyone else on this forum. my parents couldnt accept me the way i am either. are you old enough to live on your own? i'm much happier ever since i started living alone.


The poster is 11 years old.

It is important to know if this is something that has never or rarely happens or is a regular occurrence.


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doofy
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11 Nov 2013, 8:07 am

Not a lot you can do really.

The situation has to resolve sometime so you can get back to normal with your dad. The usual way to resolve this stuff is with an apology. One of you has to be grownup enough to do this.

If your dad won't be the grownup, then maybe it is down to you.

Then you have to try to learn from the situation to avoid it happening again. To keep yourself safe. It's not a question of who is right or who is wrong - it is a question of who has the power. At the moment this is your dad.

The power balance will shift as you get older. Both of you will need to work to accomplish this. Your main task is to stay safe. You may have to do things you don't want in order to stay safe.



kcizzle
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11 Nov 2013, 11:29 am

As the previous poster said, the main thing you have to be right now is safe so if you can work out what triggered the situation and try and avoid it happening again that would be in your best interest. Also, are there any adults in real life you could confide in, maybe a teacher or relative as if you are 11, the last thing you want to be doing is making yourself vulnerable to a bunch of adult strangers on the internet. I really hope you and your dad can work it out and I'd like to believe he lost it for a minute and wouldn't want you to be this upset even if he won't apologise. Good luck