The "quiet" question. Don't know how much more I
Not much to say to "them" FTFY.
People usually talk about non-nonsensical stuff like the weather,the routine, the bad, the good.
I like to talk to people but it needs some sort of substance. Like the philosophical aspects of the job. The social aspects. The way you can get better at the job. Their history, my history. Their personality, my personality. etc something to chew on.
Not much to say to "them" FTFY.
People usually talk about non-nonsensical stuff like the weather,the routine, the bad, the good.
I like to talk to people but it needs some sort of substance. Like the philosophical aspects of the job. The social aspects. The way you can get better at the job. Their history, my history. Their personality, my personality. etc something to chew on.
I am also often considered as shy although I don´t think I am shy. It´s just like you wrote. I don´t have much to say about the topics they want to talk about. I can be a person who talks a lot but like DefKoN said, I need "some sort of substance".
_________________
English is not my native language. So it is possible that there are mistakes in my posts. Please correct me, I´m still learning.
I get this too. "You're really quiet, aren't you?"
"Yup, I am."
If it's someone I know better, I might disclose to them that I have AS as a frame of reference for my behavior. Many people won't get it, but some people are interested.
I've kind of learned to shrug this off, but in the past, it was annoying.
Were they actually asking why you're quiet or were they stating that you're quiet?
I get how it could be very annoying, constantly having people point that out about you, but there really is nothing wrong with being quiet...unless, for instance, you're too quiet to let people know that you don't appreciate being talked about in front of them (as you said happened), or are too quiet to tell people they're being rude to you for any reason really.
I myself don't really consider saying that someone's quiet as being rude though, it would be only under certain circumstances, so maybe you shouldn't pay any attention to what I'm saying...:-/
_________________
Not autistic, I think
Prone to depression
Have celiac disease
Poor motivation
If I thought people actually cared WHY I am quiet I would tell them. A lot of the time it is because I truly have nothing to say. However part of the reason for that is because I can't follow conversations. My mind wanders, my attention phases in and out, and I have auditory processing issues. So I may not really be hearing or understanding what they are saying.
Then again if I am not paying attention it is usually because what they are talking about is BORING so I wouldn't have anything to say anyway.
But even when I DO have something to say??? most of the time I would rather keep my mouth shut because I know they will react like I have said something totally strange or unusual.
However I have the feeling when most people ask this question they don't really care WHY. They are just trying to get me to talk because they are feeling uncomfortable.
Dear_one
Veteran
Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 75
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,717
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines
I get that a lot. People are paranoid and think I don't like them just because I don't speak to them much.
Gets on my nerves. Makes me want to flee. Yet more pressure to chit chat, endlessly, for hours on end.
I don't mind a bit of chat for a few minutes here and there, can;t that be enough?
I get this all the time. I don't understand why people are so bothered by my 'quietness', I'm not affecting them am I so why can't they just leave me alone? They don't go around asking loud people "Why are you so loud?" and yet loud people are more likely to affect others! I'm quiet because I have nothing to say to you. If I had something to say, I would say it. But apparently you can't say that to people, you have to mumble some appology and say "oh am I? I'm sorry I didn't realise." oe the classic "I don't know."
I get this all the time. I don't understand why people are so bothered by my 'quietness', I'm not affecting them am I so why can't they just leave me alone? They don't go around asking loud people "Why are you so loud?" and yet loud people are more likely to affect others! I'm quiet because I have nothing to say to you. If I had something to say, I would say it. But apparently you can't say that to people, you have to mumble some appology and say "oh am I? I'm sorry I didn't realise." oe the classic "I don't know."
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