Intense hatred for bullies

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I actually find it really hard to hold grudges against people, especially bullies.

At most, mine can usually last for two days, but I eventually just cave in and forget all about it!

"Hurt leads to bitterness, bitterness to anger, travel too far that road and the way is lost." | Terry Brooks

"Those who cannot work with their hearts achieve but a hollow, half-hearted success that breeds bitterness all around." | Abdul Kalam

"It is hardly possible to build anything if frustration, bitterness and a mood of helplessness prevail." | Lech Walesa

"I know from personal experience how damaging it can be to live with bitterness and unforgiveness. I like to say it's like taking
poison and hoping your enemy will die. And it really is that harmful to us to live this way." | Joyce Meyer

"Something my mum taught me years and years and years ago, is life's just too short to carry around a great bucket-load of anger
and resentment and bitterness and hatreds and all that sort of stuff." | Kevin Rudd

^^^^^
Funny you should mention K Rudd or Krudd as his known by the haters you know he had a operation for his call bladder right ? probably from all that bile, yes his an angry man he had a deprived childhood another stand out was his colleague Mark Latham and their was a lot of anger their (much morre obvious ) towards the "elites" and silver spooners , funny they became the things that they loathed so much.

Is Krudd so wonderful he makes the news their? I assme it was due to the "apology " to the aboriginals I know it made it to the French/Swiss news .

ps you do realize depreronlization is caused by traumatic or exasperated by traumatic upbrining right ? Since your an expert on these matters you know what this is. Sadly for some of us many ? once it's in it's locked in for good , like a game show!

Thank you for your understanding.

I had to take more punches this Friday when it was my last day at work. Felt terrible afterwards. I felt humiliated. All them against me, once again. I don't think I'll ever set my foot in the business environment again.

Well, i just picked out random quotes that made sense from Brainquote, the intention not really being the person behind the words, but the meaning of the quote itself. I didn't know anything about this K Rudd, but yeah anyway, it was something his mother told him once (as said in the quote itself to) so if your correct obviously he didn't take his mothers advice.

But yeah, i do believe that spending time being bitter towards or hating someone only causes more harm on yourself. I know what it's like to be bitter, i were very bitter when i was 18 towards a someone who back then ruined my relationship with my family, assaulted me psychologically, which caused me to become ill (a illness i still suffer and struggle with to this day). This person were finally busted and "cast out" (for the lack of a better word) of our family (weren't related in the first place) for all of the damage the concerned had put upon us all.

But still even after this, even though that person weren't as involved in our lives any longer, i was bitter and felt a lot of hate towards this someone for 1 or two years. Then one day i realized how carrying all of this anger and bitterness affected me, and it was not in a good way. I realized that if i wanted to cope and to feel happier about myself and my life, i had to remove whatever drained me. I had to take that hatred and "cast" it out and move on. Besides people who causes you harm because they enjoy to see you hurt, would love knowing that you even after their gone continue carrying the damage and misery they put on you.
If you don't let go of these things, then you let the "bad" people win. The only way to win them over is to show them and yourself that whatever they did to you will not affect your happiness, your zest for life nor your will to move on. That you were able to climb over that painful "barb wire fence" which they built to stop you from escaping from them and their harassment.

I'm not saying you should forget what people have done to you, what i'm saying is that you shouldn't let what they did affect you afterwards, you have to rise above them, you must show yourself stronger than them. Do not let them be a part of your life, do not let them become a part of nor affect your mind throw them out of your life/ your mind as you would with garbage - It's not worth the keeping, it's only purpose being to spread stench and disease to your life. Once you've gotten rid of it, only then you are able to finally breath in the oxygen of life itself, to take a dive into the sea of happiness, only then you can find yourself and the path that will bring you forward, and away from the soul-devouring shadows you once lived in.

But anyway it might be different with other people, in my case i feel the need to move on and think as little of the bad things as possible. You can't forget it, but you can stop it from tearing you down. If some of you feel like moving on isn't an option, that what some people have done to you are to painful to move on, well that's entirely up to you, and i can't judge you for it. But i hope for your own sake that some day you will find redemption and the strength to move, to at last embrace and live your life the way your deserve to.

I'm sad to hear that it happened once again, and i can understand by imagination how difficult it must be for you. It is embarrassing to be treated poorly, so i get why you end up feeling humiliated Having many people against you at once is a heartbreaking experience, something no one should have to go through/ experience. The many against one "game" is such a cowardly action, and it only proves how wimpy their behavior is, how tragic they are.
I really do hope that these things that you experience will end, that you won't have to quit your job and fin a new one because of those bastards, if not i do hope that if you decide to find a new place to work, that you will thrive and be treated well/ equally to everyone else there. I wish you well and good luck <3

Thank you for the kind words Monolithe ( :

My contract fortunately ended this Friday, so I just decided to not continue even though they wanted me to! I managed to complete the contract, even though the last month was terrible. But they cannot come and say I quit before time.

It was in the Insurance business, it seems like that business is a socially tough one. Or more like, full of idiots.

I liked your words mono though sadly the amygdala does not forget, still it's worth making an effort it all helps

Since the last time I have been bullied was about 10th grade, I now just bide my time and eventually run into them in day to day life and snub them. Just basically cut them dead. Or I have a nice condescending conversation with them, asking about their lives and make up some s**t about my own that's so much better than theirs. Sometimes I don't even have to make anything up. I usually say "Well, bless your heart". That's pretty much the ultimate backhanded put down.

Another thing that's important to learn to do as an adult is to be "bullyproof". An example is when several years ago I had to go to the office at the Junior High where my son was in trouble. The new principal was this big black dude who expected everything to be exactly his way, he had the last word, no quarter given, no excuses accepted. I walked in and he asked me to sit, which I did and he stood over me. In a booming voice but not a shout he started ranting about my son and what he did and when I went to speak up he told me "Oh no you don't, it's not your place to speak here! This is my office!" So I stood up, looked him in the eye and said "Hon, if you're trying to intimidate me you might as well give it up. It's not possible. It's kind of cute though, but it's getting you nowhere. Lets be grownups now ok? Or I can just go to the board or come back later on after you are done channeling Patton." Then I walked out.

Next time he was normal. In fact we got to be friends and talked on FB about his love of building scale model wooden ships. I also made him a mojo hand that he carries every day, he asked me for one when he got cancer. He's in remission now thank goodness. But that shows you, if you can stand up to one of them, they sometimes stop. He didn't expect that. He was an ex football player, rough and tough, used to scaring the s**t out of everybody, grown men included. He did not expect a little white lady to just not put up with it.

I understand what you are saying.

But the thing is - a man like him does not think he did anything wrong to you. His reaction is only due to considering you high in the social hierarchy, so he feels he needs to respect you (as a result of you standing up to him).

If that guy meets another person who does not stand up for himself, he will treat him in the same awful manner.

To many people, all there exists is power. If you have more power than another person, you are allowed to dominate them and treat them badly. In their mind, that is.

i did not say that they saw that "i would try to seriously hurt them".
i said that they saw that "i would seriously try to hurt them".

i just stood my ground and they knew i was going to fight back if they wanted to assail me.

people mainly did not bully me because they thought i was hilarious, and they liked to see my altercations with authoritarian figures. but they did think i was what they would describe as "insane" because i had a chronic impulse to defy authority. i did not obey anything an adult told me to do if they spoke in a certain tone. teachers often irritated me with their authoritarian attitudes, and i had many conflagrations of interactions with them, and the other kids watched on in astonishment at what they perceived was insane behavior.

i never would inflict injuries on anyone else if they act in a peaceful manner, and even if they do not, i would not hurt them to a greater degree than it takes to ensure my egress.

i am not a bully, and i am also not a "shrinking violet" (i have no idea of the etymology of that phrase).

one is not a bully for intimidating a bully who is trying to bully them.

there were a few kids who felt they were stars every now and then, and they did not like the fact that most of the kids watched me, and they did try to force their territorial ownership of the playground or the classroom on me, but they never decided to finalize their threats to me.

+1
In middle school when I defended myself from bullies by throwing stuff at them I always got into troubles and was told by teachers that if I acted like that I was an evil person as well.
I think this is utter bulls**t. If you don't react you're only going to make it worse IMO. I think one can do what is necessary to ensure their safety and they shouldn't get into troubles because of it.
Even the "ignore them and they will go away" advice didn't work for me. It only made them insult and tease me even more since ignoring is kind of like acting passively.
This is why I decided to stop listening to what theachers told me forever and now I act as I want to, no matter what. I don't really recognize authority anymore now.

You can't change society and you can't change crazy people. You can only change yourself and how you react to them. Your choices are 1. Stay the same and become bitter and hate filled because people treat you like crap and you don't stand up for yourself 2. Learn to stand up for yourself and do so, even though it doesn't always work, but be prepared to stand your ground and the amount of bullying you have to take will lessen, 3. Become assertive to the point of almost aggressive when need to be when dealing with bullies. Out bully them or simply "pooh pooh" their behavior in a "awwww, isn't that cute! he's trying to bully me!" way.

It's better than being a bitter perpetual victim and living your life filled with hatred and jealousy.

The biggest problem with bullying is not the bully himself. I can deal with a bully. The biggest problem is the passive support from "third parties" .

I had a "friend" who tended to bully me, but he would do so only in a situation where he would be backed up by other "friends" who happened to be closer to him than to me.

And seriously, it was those people's support for his little abuses (like they would laugh to a mean comment) which was far more hurtful.
When I'm alone with him he is almost submissive toward me.

That's why it's very important to learn to stand up for yourself. I was bullied relentlessly until I stood up for myself. I'm not saying stand up to the huge guy whose gonna kick your ass really bad, but stand up for yourself in normal situations like that. Sometimes yes, you will get your ass kicked. It won't kill you. Most times it's just a normal ass kicking and you heal physically. But bullies will bully you and plenty of others who aren't bullies will walk all over you until you stand up for yourself. You don't have to go over the top. You can make a remark and walk off. You can cut them dead and not speak to them. You can turn your nose up at them and smirk and leave. Most adults aren't going to have the school yard fistfight/shoving match with a bully. But you have to stand up for yourself or the bullies won't leave you alone and most of the rest of the population won't take you seriously.

The only place that silence and turning the other cheek is seen as an asset is a convent or monastery. Only Ghandi can pull that s**t off in the real world. The rest of us have to stand up for ourselves to the extent that we can, and at times push ourselves way out of our comfort zone and do it past the extent we think we can.