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chris5000
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06 Jan 2014, 10:10 pm

anyone else have this problem? I can never find the words to start things off



EzraS
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06 Jan 2014, 10:24 pm

All of the time. Even when it comes to text or PM.



pensieve
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06 Jan 2014, 10:29 pm

It depends on how well I know a person. If they live with me it's fairly easy to just bring anything up. Usually we just talk about the whacky antics of our cats. Then there's a very small group of friends I have who I sometimes struggle to say things to. When we're gathered together I usually sit back and listen and then zone out. I've got one friend I have most in common with and we can talk each other quite easily.

Then there are people I'm still getting to know that I really want to get to know and I will sort of think up a bunch of stuff I could say to them weeks or even months before I get a chance to. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but I have found it be highly effective.

But I still constantly get mind blank around all sorts of people. I've been meaning to try and talk to them again about my special interests but not overdoing it. I used to slip something in with my friends and we'll talk about that for a few minutes and then the conversation would move on and though I couldn't follow or join in on this next subject I was content to have had some input.


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Trontine
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06 Jan 2014, 11:05 pm

Even worse that starting a conversation, is keeping it going .



cathylynn
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07 Jan 2014, 12:56 am

recommended reading, "the fine art of small talk" by debra fine. features lists of questions to spark conversation.



ZombieBrideXD
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07 Jan 2014, 12:56 am

i have no idea, i only know "hi" but an actual conversation is hard to start


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RichardJ
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07 Jan 2014, 2:52 am

Maybe not a conversation but I can start a monologue. :lol:



EzraS
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07 Jan 2014, 3:12 am

Trontine wrote:
Even worse that starting a conversation, is keeping it going .


That's the other part.
ppl in forums want to chat with me in various ways and I cant do it.
One person who wanted to do a PM exchange with me, got annoyed because i "left the conversation".
I mean they will write some open ended thing and I have no idea of what to say.
Then there is the annoying exchange that starts off with "what's up?"
They probably say I am friendly on the boards but unfriendly when it comes to chat.



Rocket123
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07 Jan 2014, 12:04 pm

chris5000 wrote:
anyone else have this problem? I can never find the words to start things off


This happens to me all the time in social situations. I typically wait for someone to walk up to me and start the conversation. Then, I typically rely on them to carry the conversation.

If someone approaches me and the conversation focuses on a particular subject that is an area of interest, I can talk at length on that topic. Though, I am awful at knowing when/how to change the subject and move onto something else that might be interesting for them to discuss.

In work situations, I have no problems going up to strangers and asking them questions (e.g. when I need information or tell someone something).



League_Girl
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07 Jan 2014, 1:27 pm

I can walk up to anyone and ask what they are doing how are they doing, etc but what i always got was "mind your own business' "None of your business" and unfriendly responses like I was stupid so I quit doing it. It's not that I am unable to do it, I just choose not to due to how I have been treated for doing this social skill.


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coffeebean
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08 Jan 2014, 4:03 pm

Trontine wrote:
Even worse that starting a conversation, is keeping it going .


The inevitable struggle to translate, "asflflkdsa [pictures]" into something coherent.