Have you ever suffered from depression?

Page 2 of 3 [ 38 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next


Have you ever suffered from depression?
I have suffered from debilitating depression 55%  55%  [ 54 ]
I've had bouts of it, but not too much 21%  21%  [ 21 ]
I'm depressed right now 21%  21%  [ 21 ]
Never had it 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 98

FireBird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,380
Location: Cow Town

19 Jan 2014, 7:25 pm

I get extreme depressions as part of my schizoaffective disorder bipolar type. Depression is just part of my life. I get 99% depressed 1% of the time manic. Right this second I am hopeless about my future. I have a curse. To outsiders who don't know me, would view that as a psychotic symptom. Trust me, its not. Its the power of psychic abilities. I predict things with amazing accuracy. I influence events in the world. The guilt I live with is immense. The latest prediction to come true was that layoffs would happen at my dad's company that he works for (Intel). I warned him this would happen and he thought there is no way. In fact, he was very optimistic (delusional) that it wasn't going to happen. Then a few days ago, Intel announced that they were laying off 5% of their workforce.

The prediction that came true before that came to me in a dream. It was about this massive massacre. A couple of weeks later, at least 1000 people were massacred. Bodies lying on the street. Blood everywhere. it was all over the news. Just as my dream said. A massacre of this scale is not an everyday occurrence.

I KNOW my future is dark. We will fall down all the way down on the socioeconomic scale. Down to abject poverty, especially if my dad is laid off. Or he retires with no money. Right this second we are doing fine. Stress though. My low intelligence is a factor in my life, as are my other debilitating disabilities (my numerous mental illnesses). I also deal with Fibromyalgia and Migraine headaches. I bet they are psychogenic. In my head in other words.

My self esteem has been very low my entire life. I have been severely bullied in Middle school to the point of being suicidal. In fact I had to go school to school because of the bullying. Toward the end, I had to be in this special school meant for people with mental illness. If you wanted to be enrolled into this school, you had to have a diagnosis of a mental illness. Before entering this school, I was hospitalized for the first time. I had a GAF of only 30 at the time. I know the DSM 5 does not use the GAF scale anymore.

My mood is generally unstable. When severely depressed, all I do is sleep due to the complete lack of energy. Sometimes it gets so bad that I can't even cry, but when I can cry I do. My affect becomes restricted (but my parents think its flat, no its not completely flat). I have a deadened look in my eyes when it becomes to the point that suicide looks like an option. Right this second its more like minor depression. I am medicated. When severely depressed I get anhedonia. The only pleasurable interest that remains is the Internet, but only due to the fact that I am literally obsessed with the Internet to the point that I believe I have Internet Addiction Disorder.

I am a realist though. I know, Depressive Realism. People would say, oh, that is pessimism. I say looking at things with a more negative light is more realistic due to the fact you can prepare for the worst easier. I know I am forgetting about 90% of everything, but here's around 10% of what I remember at this very second.

My memory is very inconsistent. I also hate how the entire world is very connected and even things people thing are not connected are connected. There are no such things are coincidences. Everything in my mind is predetermined from the beginning of time.

My next couple of predictions that will happen is:
1. Syrian war over within a few months. The Peace conference will have some success. It might be slow going for awhile but it WILL happen.
2. No greater Shiite- Sunni War in the Middle East.
3. Dow will go to 17,000-18,000 then crash to about 12,000.
4. Many computer companies will announce layoffs and no end to the decline of PC's. Also the decline will be faster than thought.



loner1984
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 621

19 Jan 2014, 9:50 pm

Yeah definitely. it wasnt easy being around 17-20 age, and being alone and such. Then i got some medication, which ive mentioned before, but right now the name escapes me. Which made me suicidal which certainly didn help. Kinda scary how medication can break the mind even more.

I mean tbh, ive sometimes taken some of those online tests, i mean i might have been depressed for the last 12 years.



Lumi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,522
Location: USA

19 Jan 2014, 11:31 pm

Debilitating and began in 10th grade. Mental illness runs heavily on one side of my family.


_________________
God-dependent, curious and self-learning Japanese


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 30,522
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

19 Jan 2014, 11:54 pm

I currently suffer from depression, and its been that way since I was like 12 if not before.


_________________
Tell me lies tell me sweet little lies, tell me lies.


Jensen
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,207
Location: Denmark

20 Jan 2014, 5:41 am

I have had one major depression and several small ones, but many of those have been a general sadness, that have built up through my life, - and I am working on that now, because I want my energy back.


_________________
Femaline
Special Interest: Beethoven


Jensen
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,207
Location: Denmark

20 Jan 2014, 5:41 am

I have had two major depressions and several small ones, but many of those have been due to a general sadness, that have built up through my life, - and I am working on that now, because I want my energy back.


_________________
Femaline
Special Interest: Beethoven


Last edited by Jensen on 20 Jan 2014, 6:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,326
Location: Sydney, Australia

20 Jan 2014, 6:12 am

I have bipolar depression. Before it started I was coping well with my AS. However, I've not felt that way for a long time.


_________________
My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
My personal blog - http://helptheywantmetosocialise.wordpress.com/


qawer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,424

20 Jan 2014, 7:00 am

I find that depression is anger turned inward.

This anger is for me often connected to people from the past that I have not stood up to/not confronted out of fear or because I could not because it would damage my employment situation.

I think the only way out is to confront the anger by turning it outward.



Davvo7
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 293
Location: UK

20 Jan 2014, 10:06 am

I've been affected by depression and dysthymia for pretty much all of my life. It has got the better of me during a number of Aspie burnouts over the years. I am lucky to have a good support network in place these days but haven't really been able to shake the mood. That's depressing in and of itself! :roll:

Wish I had a penny for the times I've been told, "cheer up!" What I could do with a big pointy stick at that point. That said, I usually say nothing, try and smile and then seethe inwardly. Other people, can't live with them but can't have at them with a pointy stick or they complain. :)


_________________
Moomintroll sighed. He felt sad even though he had no real reason to feel that way.


Chazzer
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2014
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Posts: 35
Location: The New Forest, Hampshire, England

20 Jan 2014, 12:59 pm

For about two years of my life I was depressed I have only come out of the depression fairly recently. I was originaly depressed because I was not getting the support I needed at school ( I had received my diagnoses years before this point) but then my one and only friend left town and I became very paranoid and depressed. After about a year I moved schools and made some new friends and I can honestly say I've never been happier! :D :D :D :D



Salkin
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 351
Location: Sweden

20 Jan 2014, 1:54 pm

I've had depressive episodes at various points, sometimes externally induced and sometimes with no apparent cause. I think I may have had one at 11, but am not sure now. I definitely had one at 14, then another at 18 that got to the point of suicidal thoughts, though no concrete plans, thankfully. I had some depression in my early 20s, but also some success in life that lessened it. Then at 25, and I hit another last year, job-induced, that I'm still trying to claw my way back out of.

Anxiety? In my teens, really only induced by people around me; bullying, and a lack of understanding/sometimes even abuse from my parents. I guess I picked up social anxiety around that time too. Later, around 25, it became chronic, and I've battled with generalised anxiety ever since, as well as still battling social anxiety.

I'm not sure there's much of a story to tell, but if you, OP, find my post of use then feel free to use it in your project.



gretchyn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 504
Location: Middle Earth

20 Jan 2014, 1:59 pm

Two of your options, "I have suffered debilitating depression" and "I am depressed right now" could be simultaneously true...



Niall
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 483
Location: Forth Estuary Area, Western Palearctic Archipelago, Sol III, Orion Spur, Milky Way

20 Jan 2014, 2:11 pm

gretchyn wrote:
Two of your options, "I have suffered debilitating depression" and "I am depressed right now" could be simultaneously true...


They could but, to me, debilitating means currently curled up in a ball, which I admit I've spent a lot of time in recently. If you are curled up in a ball you are not going to to fit to answer the question.

Right now, I'm depressed enough to hate myself and be at about a 6 on the thinking-about-suicide scale. Much of the last week was another matter. I'm depressed now, to the point where getting up and making dinner isn't likely to happen. That's not debilitating, just unpleasant in inhibiting of full functioning. Debilitating has been intermittent for months, if not years.



cavernio
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,469

20 Jan 2014, 2:46 pm

Happened right around when I left home, graduated highschool. I didn't and still don't understand why I felt it or why I fall into it. It seems largely uncontrollable.
I'd like to think my celiac disease and eating gluten while I didn't know I had it, caused it. I still think this is a perfectly valid hypothesis even though I'm not exactly undepressed right now. But I am happier than I have been. I'm not curled up in a ball in bed with my eyes burning because I've cried too much. I don't want to commit suicide, whereas I've actually tried before.


_________________
Not autistic, I think
Prone to depression
Have celiac disease
Poor motivation


jly88
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2014
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 85
Location: US

20 Jan 2014, 2:56 pm

Wow. Kind of sad seeing the poll results and how many of us have classified our depression as "debilitating", but it's also a huge relief to know I'm far from the only one.

I have suffered on and off from varying levels of depression for over 10 years now (I'm currently 25), and I can definitely say that there's a huge correlation between my depression and my Aspergers. I liken it to a sort of domino effect where the difficulties in connecting to others and understanding social norms cause people to misunderstand you and cast you off to the side, which then causes loneliness, which then causes you to feel like you will never successfully integrate yourself into society and in the end you just say "f*** it". At least that's in my experience.

I have been on more medications than I can count since my diagnosis, which probably has a lot to do with the fact that I've also been diagnosed as bipolar II (most of my episodes have been depressive, though), and ADD- I'm sure big pharma must really love folks like me, haha. Right now I'm on a cocktail of Wellbutrin and Lamictal and so far that seems to be working for me, although it's not perfect.