Awareness of Stims = Exhaustion?

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Hello!

I have just one simple question this time around related to the following information: Sometimes I'll be unconsciously performing a behaviour that could be described as 'stimming' that I can become consciously aware of, but if I focus on the movement specifically (think/feel my leg moving etc) I suddenly feel a sudden loss of energy and desire to stop the movement due to suddenly feeling uncomfortable and I have no idea why.

Does anyone else experience this?

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Unapologetically, Norny.
-chronically drunk

Do you feel like you should suppress your stims? Maybe the exhaustion is emotional?

I'm not sure, I don't think I need to feel the need to suppress them. I could be doing something such as bouncing, swaying my legs, wriggling my toes and flicking my fingers, grabbing at my neck or squishing my nose without focusing on it for ages. Most of the time they start subconsciously (if I'm anxious/angry etc they can be conscious) and at times I will realize that I'm doing them, but it's not until I fully focus on what's happening that it bothers me. As soon as I focus on what my body parts are doing it tends to feel like I'm suddenly exerting more control or something like that, which almost immediately exhausts the body part, and also slightly my brain.

I'll use an analogy of zoning out on a repetitive boring job just as an example. I could be attaching stickers to scanners all day without feeling too bothered about it. I know that I'm doing it, but it's almost automatic, like autopilot. If I start to focus on attaching the stickers it annoys me greatly as it makes me feel bored, apathetic and tired etc. I could go on and on.

The analogy I used actually applies to me too, but I hope it helps to explain what I mean regarding the stims.

_________________
Unapologetically, Norny.
-chronically drunk

It almost sounds like you have inadvertently stumbled upon a zen trick. If you want to stop a habit, turn your focus toward it, something like that.

*Please note, I'm only using this as an example. I think a lot of stimming is functional, plus adds joy of life.