Do you tend to attract narrow-minded people?

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13 Feb 2014, 12:32 am

Throughout my teens and adulthood I've always wanted interesting, intelligent and liberal-minded people to talk to. In my country my views are considered radical e.g. I support gay marriage. Although my close friends from school were liberal-minded (but more nerdy), I found when I went to uni that I was stuck with the stick-in-the-mud narrow-minded people. There were obviously liberal-minded people but these tended to be more sophisticated and "cool" and they thought I was an awkward weirdo. So I didn't really get to know them. The only people who sort of accepted me into a social circle were the narrow-minded ones, who were more awkward, less confident, less sophisticated - and therefore my level of social sophistication fit them. However they were shocked at my radical views (views which are accepted by many liberal papers and journals and the sophisticated liberals). So I never fit in anywhere. My thoughts are liberated, but my awkward manners are country-bumpkinish.

A few sophisticated liberals whom I get along all right with tell me they find my views refreshing, but I am never part of their circle. They seem surprised sometimes when I express some liberal thoughts, because I am quiet and don't look approachable. The narrow-minded people seem to think I'm immoral. (I don't drink, do drugs, have orgies.)

I also seem to have a problem with men. When men do get interested in me, they tend to be attracted by my innocent face, quietness and good listening skills (they are not very sophisticated in company, but I try to be polite to them unlike others). But the moment I express an interest in poetry/something intellectual or liberal they seem to think women shouldn't be too intellectual, and try to dismiss my interests. These men are not very enlightened people. I don't have this problem with enlightened men, but unfortunately I am too boring to attract them.

Do you have this problem as well?



Norny
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13 Feb 2014, 1:07 am

Yes, but I myself tend to be a little narrow minded I suppose. For example, I will never have time for someone that rejects something similar to same-sex marriage. I think that to have such an opinion, their reasons for it must be beyond ridiculous as it's no different to consenting with any other form of discrimination such as the South-African apartheid. I literally will instantly dislike anyone who tells me that marriage is only for a man and a woman. To avoid any confusion, I'm perfectly fine with religion, but as long as those that are religious also have a mind of their own. I loathe when someone tells me seriously that homosexuality is a sin.

Aside from that, I know a lot of self proclaimed, stubborn 'realists' that constantly talk about and allow themselves to sink into the realm of negativity. Constantly pointing out negatives that cannot be fixed and/or are out of control is not being realistic, that's being pessimistic. I don't mind too much if someone is a pessimist, but when they play it off as being 'realistic', that's when it pisses me off. It's not a crime to be pessimistic at times, nor anything else. Personally I don't think it's even possible to truly be a realist if you're human; everyone is slightly idealistic, optimistic, pessimistic etc. They are all situational. I honestly don't see why being a 'realist' is so hyped anyway. It's just another label that for whatever reason has an attractive vibe behind it.

EDIT - Thought I should add that I don't have anything against people that describe themselves as a 'realist', that's fine and situationally correct. It's just the extensive misuse of that term and over-hyped nature that annoys me.


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hyena
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13 Feb 2014, 1:23 am

In my country of origin my views are considered insane LOL But Insanity is interesting LOL
I tend to shock even liberals. For example, I think eating human corpses is not morally wrong, just aesthetically displeasing to me. I don't think incest is wrong when the parties involved ensure there will be no children (e.g. use birth control or cannot have children). I have nothing against necrophilia. A person may himself find these things unappealing but that is no reason prevent others from doing them, or to offend them. So even liberals are disturbed by my views. Oh and I love blasphemy, especially sexual blasphemy involving deities/prophets of the major religions :p If I talk to philosophy students they are far less likely to be disturbed and more likely to agree with me.

In any case I never cared much for sophistication nor found sophisticated people appealing. I would not hang out them. I prefer honest people who will speak what is on their mind. Of course, I cannot stand closed minded people even of they are honest, and I avoid them. If someone wishes to disagree with me and wants to have heated debates, I love that. But fools who go around bashing transsexuals or atheists (for example) without any kind of justification sicken me. I could not stand them for long.

If people think you are immoral engage them in debates and see how well they defend their views. I am very honest about my views and if someone disagrees with them I will argue (i.e. debate) with them. If they cannot defend their views I lose interest in them.

I no longer care much for human contact (except finding mate(s) or sex partner(s)) so I do not really ever have to deal with social acceptance or rejection. So I am afraid I no longer have this problem. :)
But I do think people who are sophisticated would find me socially awkward. It is just that now the repulsion is mutual and consequently it is never a problem. Even if I wanted human company it would not be with these people. They seem too pretentious. It is as if they are always putting on a show for each other. Always worrying about how society perceives them. They are like slaves, giving up their true nature for social approval. I cannot stand pretense.

Maybe I am not the best person to give advice on this though. I am not known for pro-social views LOL :p



bumble
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13 Feb 2014, 1:37 am

I am open minded in many ways but my social problems basically mean I am not accepted in many circles so rarely meet people I am compatible with in terms of my thinking.



redrobin62
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13 Feb 2014, 1:54 am

If anything, I attract left-of-center people, people who don't fit the norm, misfits and oddities. Drug addicts are welcome into my group as well as alcoholics and the homeless. Back in the day I used to hang out with punks and Bohemians. I'm older now but the sentiments remain the same.



KingdomOfRats
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13 Feb 2014, 3:01 am

outside of the internet,am not a participant in mainstream/normie society and the only people that mix with are other significantly autistic and intelectualy disabled people.
we are all open minded apart from one,he is pretty hardcore against gay people,immigrants etc.
the rest of us are extremely opinionated on morals and disability matters.


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EzraS
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13 Feb 2014, 3:19 am

I tend to attract nice people. That is all I can say of the people who seem to like me the best on the forums.
When it comes to things like "liberal minded" and the like, that sort of thing is outside of my scope.
I guess I still read people in the way of a small child.



GivePeaceAChance
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13 Feb 2014, 8:51 am

I have made sure to cultivate progressive friends and even among them I am considered a radical, one of my friends laughed about it on facebook just yesterday in a discussion that went on, she is a real peacemaker who has friends on both sides of the aisle (I have two of these, only because they are both progressive)

this does cut down a great deal though on my circle, and I have not had a real date in 10 years due to my radical views


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Fnord
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13 Feb 2014, 8:55 am

I tend to attract bullies who seem to equate a man with manners, a soft voice and a broken body with "Easy Victim" -- if theirs isn't a narrow-minded attitude, then I don't know what is.

Most are shocked when they find out that I can (and often do) fight back.



Ashariel
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13 Feb 2014, 12:16 pm

Do you tend to attract narrow-minded people?

No, I tend to repel them.



League_Girl
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13 Feb 2014, 1:04 pm

I seem to attract weird people. Both my ex boyfriends had problems and guys I met online were all weird in their ways and only one of them was truly creepy.


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League_Girl
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13 Feb 2014, 1:04 pm

I seem to attract weird people. Both my ex boyfriends had problems and guys I met online were all weird in their ways and only one of them was truly creepy.


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