"I don't think you have Asperger's" -unintelligent

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Just like those who diagnose themselves.

For the record:

1) I have not diagnosed myself, I have identified with most symptoms of Asperger's following reading up on this for years and am seeking evaluation. Which I what I told her.

2) There is a big difference between diagnosing oneself and identifying with and suspecting ASD. Because I have not received a diagnosis I do not officially have anything; I understand. But not having a Dx doesn't mean that there is absolutely no way I have it. Thank you.

I understand your frustration though, and apologize for pushing your buttons.

Despite my history, people with whom I've had only superficial interactions can't see how I'm autistic. I guess that's what happens when you learn to mask your symptoms.

Nevertheless, my second and third psychiatric opinions last year confirmed that I am mildly autistic.

*accidentally double posted--see below* Sorry.

Last edited by Velocityraptor on 12 Feb 2014, 10:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Right now, I'm struggling to decide who in my life to tell I think I'm autistic and how to do it, because I'm pretty sure I'll get the offhand, "I don't think you have it" response as well. I don't want to be in the position of having to defend why I think it.

For what it's worth, based on how you described the encounter with that girl, I don't think she was trying to shoot you down. I doubt it even occurred to her that you might be hoping for a positive diagnosis. She'd just put her foot in her mouth and said Aspie=as*hole. And then you said you were getting tested for it. I think she was backpedaling and what she really meant to say was, "I know I just said Aspies are as*holes, but I don't think you're an aspie as*hole."

If you've felt in the past that you were on the same page with this girl, I think you ought to give her a chance get past the popular stereotype see where your coming from.

I think it's ironic that we are all trying to analyze why people would say, "No, you're not autistic/have Asperger's," when the fact is that none of us has the theory of mind to figure out their motives. Their motives? I have no clue. Maybe:

1. To make us feel better (e.g. you come off as normal, don't worry.)
2. To tell us not to be a hypochondriac.
3. To tell us not to try to fake something just to be different.
4. To tell us that, in their experienced judgment, we don't match their experience of ASD.
5. They are ignorant and speaking without thinking.
6. Their are anti-autism and don't want to be associated with anyone on the spectrum.
7. They are insecure of their own inner-autism and afraid to acknowledge it in a friend, because it could imply that their deepest insecurity will come true.
8. They had an ASD person in the family and everyone tried to keep it a secret.

Shall I go on? What is more important in my book is that I not let others' opinions rule my emotions or my sense of self.

There is something very comforting about this post. I really had not even given thought to the possibility that she would think of Asperger's as a negative thing which she wanted to "protect" me from feeling connected to. I still highly doubt it, from the way she responded it seemed like "Well that's stupid, you obviously don't have Asperger's. Why the hell would you think that?"

Then again, I do tend to expect the worse when I don't understand people's motives...

Also, I really hate this reaction, because the only way to try and justify why I'm being evaluated is to delve into emotionally painful detail about my lifelong isolation and inability to do things right and form relationships, etc. I would rather not weeping-ly have to bare my soul to someone just to validate my desire to be evaluated. (Except with the professional, of course)

I spent 27 years of my own life not having a clue that I wasn't just different--that there was actually a large number of people who could write most of my biography, including my food preferences, that I've never had the ability to just go to sleep, that I think of everyone else on Earth as "those creatures".

My psychiatrist--whom I've only just started seeing--told me, "Well sure, you seem to have a bit of social anxiety, but I've watched the way you interact with people (in the waiting room, when I was politely pretending to listen when the guy next to me started talking), and I don't think you have anything; it's just your personality. That doesn't mean you have a condition."

First off, doc, thanks: it's wonderful that you can tell me I don't have a social life, even less a sex life, and it makes me feel SOOOO much better to know that it's 'just my personality'; I can take full credit for being such a charming, sexy beast. I'm looking for a second opinion that isn't involved with the local mental health empire.

Second, has anyone else had an experience with a doctor, psy-whatever, or other healthcare provider that seems to not even acknowledge that the word "Aspergers" exists? Mine just pretends not to hear me, and uses the term "condition" (combined with "that you don't have.) I'm just curious if we'll see the term disappear from use, since it's no longer in the DSM. I have no knowledge about it, but I'd love to hear from someone who does know.