Beginning to think I was misdiagnosed...

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It is said that people on the spectrum lack cognitive but have emotional empathy. Cognitive empathy is being able to see what another person could be thinking because of "something" and emotional is feeling. For me I often don't know what another person is thinking based off a certain situations, sometimes I do but usually not, but I am often able to feel what they're feeling. Sometimes I would say I am over empathetic when it comes to feelings and I really do not like it at all. I don't like being around people who are going through something I tend to feel what they're feeling probably too much so and I never know what to do say do so I end up just getting very annoyed. An NT person would more likely to not be overwhelmed by the feeling and would be able to delve their mind into theirs more and know what they must be thinking, where as I just feel it, see it, and become annoyed with it.





I rarely "understand" the why a person is in such a mood. I see it like this.

"Your x item broke and now you're frustrated. I feel your frustration but I don't understand it, why are you like this? Just buy a new one the store is 20 minutes away"

Hmm about the social interactions:
Feeling energized when having a conversation actually has to do with being introvert/extrovert, and not aspie or nt. Most aspies are introverts but it doesn't mean all are, some are outgoing and love interaction. It could be the case that you are an extrovert aspie!
It could also be the case that you are not an aspie at all, but not because you like interaction. It seems like the key here is to understand your social challenges. You said you don't feel like you are socially challenged, but is it the case you learned normally intuitive social skills with practice, rather than intuitively? Or is it the case you think you understand social dynamics but you actually don't? (seems weird but that's my case. recently I understood I have been missing a lot my entire life) Or is it the case you developed a script based on your data on how to have a decent conversation? Or is it the case you are not socially challenged at all, you understand social dynamics and read social skills intuitively?

About being polite and respect social boundaries:
I think it has to do more with personality just like extrovertion. If you are the type of person that observes and wait before doing something or interacting or entering a situation or making a decision etc it's very unlikely you are going to get to someone you barely know and take their hand, for instance. And yes, you can be a person with secondary response and extrovert at the same time.
Just like some aspies would not in any occasion do this kind of thing like approaching and touching someone like that or talking about feelings or personal stuff or even break those kinds of social rules.

About the aspie types:
I'm glad you liked the classification! It's a hard thing to do but we should try to compare ourselves and our own traits to similar aspie people, in your case it's like girls instead of boys and extrovert aspies instead of introvert aspies and empathetic aspies instead of cold aspies and real aspies instead of stereotypes. I know there aren't many aspies out there in each geographic area, but we should try to analyse separately (never forgetting the whole and context of course, but if we consider everything and all variants analysis are made impractical) like: which of those traits and behaviours I am observing in this person have to do with aspergers and which have to do with being an aspie boy? Which have to do with personality? etc
If your analysis is limited to quiet introvert aspie boys (because of limitation of geographic area etc) than we should be extra careful not to make general assumptions. Not all aspies are like that, the observated group is very specific and narrow.

I'm more or less like that too. The thing is that I feel what I would feel in the person's situation, not what he/she is actually feeling. For instance, if their dog died then I would be sad, even if the person actually didn't like the dog. I would not see that the person is not actually feeling what I am feeling, I would not realize their actual feeling.
I think things are more complicated than the usual empathy division. It's neither feeling contagion (affective) nor understanding another's perspective (cognitive), but I am very empathetic. It's kind of affective empathy but a little different, there should be more classifications.

http://www.help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58 ... d4f6a.html

Here is a list specifically for the basic Aspie women. To the right of the page is a little index card like sign. Click on it and it lists everything in detail. You do not have to be everything on the list, but if you relate to more than most, most likely you are an Aspie. This helped me a lot.

In another post we discussed some flaws of that female aspie traits list, but overall I like it.
Some parts about the main diferences male/female are eye-opening:
expressive physical gestures when happy - when I am happy I go around the house lots of times half jumping half dancing and singing and stimming. I am 18. I have never found anyone that does it (only hyperactive small children maybe) and everyone seems to think it is very funny. (actually it could be a zoo all nicknames I received: sealion for clapping hands; dolphin for making throat sounds )
mirroing personalities and being a camaleon - this one is important because it seems to be one of the most common and defining behaviours of female aspies: acting so much to be socially accepted and ending up not knowing who you are or being too many diferente people
the crying meltdowns - this one is important too because female aspies tend to be seem as bipolar, neurotic etc when they actually have a crying meltdown which is not common in male aspies and not often recognized.

I get excited the way you do too. Today I accidentally drank a coffee energy drink and I have had so much intense energy that I have been stimming since I got home. Lots of loud clapping, large stomp stepping, hopping (like on a po-go stick) and a "frustrated" sounding groan which is what people tell me it is like, but I am not frustrated, just overly energized. I also tend to hand flap and have giddy electrical shocks as if someone electricuted me and I thought it tickled lol. The giddy laugh is almost forced, like its pressure in my chest and it only feels good to push it out. What are some flaws that you have found?

I just wanted to add that what's interesting about me is that I am a guy but the professional that diagnosed me said that the majority of my Asperger symptoms showed up like that of a female with Asperger's.

That jumping around, dancing and stim thing you mentioned? I do it all the time when I'm happy. My family thinks it's funny, my friends usually get hyped up and sing or dance with me lol. I've never met anyone else that does that either. I get hyped up and bounce around and just do my thing.. Dancing, bouncing, singing.
I make what people call "dolphin" sounds too. However, I make those noises with my tongue, not by my throat.
I also mirrored personalities and was very Chameleon like from Middle to High school age. It wasn't until I was 16 that I was finally able to be happy to be myself.. Along with began finding myself so I know who I was and what I liked.

The only thing on your list that I don't have is crying melt downs. I had one crying melt down once but I was extremely drunk too, in my defense lol. But that was one time in my life. Okay actually twice in my life I had a crying melt down, but as you can see it's very, rare.
My melt downs are usually repetitive muttering/slapping/hitting self for hours and hours while rocking back and forth. About 3-5 times I had violent melt downs, not towards any people but towards objects, resulting in breaking my knuckles, (punching a giant hole in our bathroom wall, making a huge dent in the family car etc).

It's very interesting how there are common traits associated with being a female and male aspie. However, I just wanted to make my post to say that I was told by my therapist that my Aspie traits are more typical of a female than that of a male, (although I have both), but it's like 60% typical female aspie, 40% male.

About the discussion on this female aspie list, here is the topic http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5863800.html
What do you think?




I talked to a male aspie who had female aspie traits and he believes it depends more on personality.
I'm glad your therapist recognized those traits. This guy had crying meltdowns instead of rage outbursts and had a harder time with dignosis because of that. Just like females with male aspie traits get a diagnosis, and those with female aspie traits most of the times don't. We have to make sure psychologists recognize and aknowledge the typical female traits too.

I'm not sure if poor visual-spatial skills are common in those with Aspergers and I've read that it's not but NLD could be a likely culprit for that. I don't know many aspies who have poor visual-spatial skills and aspies generally learn better if they can visualize it. If you can't visualize your information and it has to be either presented in written or spoken words for you to understand it, I would say that Aspergers isn't an accurate diagnosis. I have NLD and I cannot process information if it's in an overly visual format without words. I can remember things better if they're spoken or if I've read them.

How are your VIQ and PIQ scores? Verbal processing index and perceptual reasoning index?

You have never met another gal you know is aspie. This is not necessarily the same as never meeting another female aspie. And if females are better at adjusting or masking you wouldn't know. Most of what you describing was having Aspie traits that are less or gone now. Seems like coping. One does not have to have every core trait. My sensory sensitivities difficulties are probably less then 95% of the posters here. But I have no doubt I am an aspie because the other core traits are noticeably there.