Routines / Rituals.

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Does anyone else here have major problems with routines and rituals? I think my OCD amplifies my severe routine-ritual problems. I'm just wanting to hear other people's stories about them.

Today I got upset at the train station I use a lot because there was a group of people standing between two pillars which I always walk through in my exact route to the train. I had to walk through the gap between adjacent pillars and I was stimming a lot and muttering to myself, signs I am anxious. Also I have routines to go through when I do things like showering, eating, dressing, brushing my teeth, walking down my street, going to bed etc., and if these routines get disturbed, I get very anxious and am at risk of starting all over again until I get it right. I also have counting compulsions probably related to OCD.

I find that if I don't do my routines / rituals, I am unable to function.

Hmm, I don't go as far as that, but I can be stubborn with my routine, and I would not let anyone change my routine if I can help it (unless I decide to myself). I am always on edge with work because of the thought of getting called in on my days off, especially the week-end. I only get every other week-end off, and I do look forward to my week-ends off, but I still can't look forward to them properly because I'm always worried that I'm going to be called in, but I'm too afraid to approach the manager and say that I can't come in. I just find it too awkward. When I have work the next day (I have to get up really early), I find I can't relax the night before. I'm keeping my eye on the time, and worrying that people are going to come round and not go 'til late, and I can't sleep when I can hear murmuring of voices (but I can't sleep with earplugs in because I then won't be able to hear the alarm in the morning). So it's nice to have a week-end coming where I know I can relax on Friday night and Saturday night, but now I find I can't bank on it too much because I could get called in to work. And yes, it's because I despise my routine changing, along with having week-ends generally the only thing to look forward to aswell, plus the fact that I'm not too keen on my job, but that's a different subject.

Yes I hav routines, and I've learned to deal with a lot of changes. For instance, I used to hav the same parking spot for work and at home and would be extremely bothered if someone parked in my spot. I would wonder who they were and how many days were they gonna be in my parking spot. So I had to get used to not knowing where I would be parking other than a general area. I also get angry if someone uses my horse "stuff" that I keep in a barn where other people ride. And I get bothered if people get in my way while I'm walking somewhere. And tons of other examples....

One of the reasons I don't carry a cell phone is so i'm not on call to anyone, if someone calls the house and I don't wanna talk I just let it ring and say I was out in the garage or something(then I do it for awhile so i'm not lying).

Depending on what is I can be flexable however 24-48hr notice really helps as I plan my days in advance by times like that, even simple things like household chores and leasure actitivties like drawing are long planned in advance eventhough its stupid to do it. People often don't get it though becouse they say I have lots of free time and nothing really to do and attempt to use some of it for me. The worst thing you can do is wake me up an hour early on a weekend and spring a day long event of some type on me, i'd rather just stay home and do whatever even if siting around watching youtube is all I had planned. I suppose aspies don't generally like surprises and our sometimes mundane routines are a great way to avoid them and introduce stabillity to our lives.

Sometimes people think i'm cold and and self centred when the truth is if they communacated what they wanted in a more timly and respected mannor I would have gladly put them in my sked and helped out.

My husband had an appointment with a doctor and he told me I can just drive to work because the place was close to my work. I refused because I always took the train to work so we took the train to work. It had nothing to do with gas this time or money. I can be really stubborn with how I do things. I also get bothered if someone sits in my spot at work so I try and sit somewhere else and just deal with it. We all have certain places where we sit and once I knew it did matter where we sat, I have been sitting in the same spot ever since where I was told to sit. I also don't like it if someone at works takes something I use and I need to use it because it's next on my task. One time someone took my vacuum so I went up to the main floor and got it and started using it. The person who took it needed it because I saw him looking for it but it was mine and I didn't want to get behind on my work and I wouldn't know what to do anyway if I couldn't do my work. Then I was nice to let him use it after I was done with it. I also got anxious at work when the elevator go out of service and I got better at it every time but I still felt anxious. I never like it when my routine changes and I would rather wait until the elevator is working again but then I would get behind on my work. So that isn't even an option. I also hate getting out of my routine to get things done and I still haven't gone to the DMV to get my address changed. I don't think my husband has either or my parents. But for me it's because of routine while for my husband it's due to his health and my parents don't have time due to their work and the places are always closed when they are off. My mom still doesn't do it when she is off work and they are open. Who knows why she hasn't gone yet. Back when my husband and I grocery shopped, I would feel anxious if we went another way in the store instead of our usual way. But yet if we needed anything new we don't usually get, I was fine with having to go that direction to get it. I usually wait until people are out of the way when I want to get through because I refuse to go around. People did move usually when they saw me standing there or saw me coming with the cart.

Only time I ever like sudden change is if it's my idea or I like it or else I am just stubborn. If nothing was set in stone, I am more flexible.

I don't engage in rituals, but I do find comfort in routines. At work, I close up in the same way, doing things in the same order. I may vary slightly from time to time, so I'm not completely inflexible. I like to find the most efficient ways of doing things, too. It saves time.

So if you find comfort doing them, routines are a type of stimming then?

I don't usually freak out if my routine and rituals get disturbed, but it can make me feel "off." It's a cross between getting irritable or annoyed and something just not feeling right. Starting at the wrong end of the supermarket makes me grumpy. I'm better at dealing with change in general than I was as a kid, though.

Oh yes! I get upset if anything comes in the way of my routines. Some more serious than others, but I do a good job at hiding it to be polite. Probably food and eating times would be my biggest issue in routines. If anything DARES to interfere with my breakfast at 7:15AM, or if I am missing any of my precise food items (plain Quaker oat meal, raw walnuts, Egg Beaters {egg whites in a carton}, and Mott's sugar-free apple sauce), it messes up my whole day, and puts me in an angry and negative mood all day long.

Other things like having to use spare keys, or using a different bathroom in case the one I always use has a problem, etc., really get to me.

Charles

When I go to out to eat I always sit at the same tables. My husband and I went to Fudd's together and there was a man eating at my table. I got very "bothered" by it. Of course I managed it and fortunately the table next to him was empty so we sat there. I mentioned it though, several times, and even kind of joked that I wanted to kick him off the table. But I kept myself from taking it too far. I did not know how much it meant to me to have my table until that moment.

Then recently I went to Jimmy John's and I had to sit at my usual table but ended up having to sit on the opposite side. That was a bit unsettling for me but I managed to be okay once I started eating. I can manage fine but I still feel unsettled and bothered if I don't get my tables.

When my routines are disturbed I don't usually freak out but I do feel "off" like Fishsticknikc said. Sometimes I might stim a little too.