Why do 'friends' lie or don't care?

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So, here's what happened:

I tried to reunite with an old friend from university and we decided on going to see a show together after months and months and months of never getting around to it. We eventually verified the day and I bought the tickets. On the day, about 45 minutes before meeting time, he texts me the following texts:

1- Sh*t, Frankie. I've not been paid!! ! I've just realised when going to the ATM!

I said it doesn't matter about the ticket money, as long as he had enough to at least get to the theatre on the train.

2- I haven't even got the money for that, my bank account is over its overdraft, I can't believe this, this is the second time they've screwed around with my pay date. I will see if my mum can transfer some money to my account.

3- If I can't get the fare money I can't come. But of course you will get the ticket money back. I hope I can as I'm really looking forward to seeing you.

4- My mum can't lend me the money, I'm really sorry. I could kill my work. I'm so disappointed. But I will make it up to you. I'm so sorry.


This was on the 20th of February and I haven't heard ANYTHING from him ever since. Even after messaging him, which was hard for me because I lost quite a lot of money on his theatre ticket. He never did pay me back or make it up to me. He's made no communication with me at all.

So why did he say he WOULD make it up and pay me back? If all his words of regret were genuine then he would have done something by now. Also, he KNEW about the show weeks in advance, so why didn't his 'common' sense think "hey, let's make sure we have enough money aside for it."

Why are people so flaky, say so much rubbish that isn't genuine and why do they conveniently forget and show no care at all about keeping in contact with you? Should I take this personally and assume he is not interested in being my friend? I don't know how to interpret this. I just feel quite let down and annoyed with him. He had ten days off work recently and instead of perhaps trying to arrange something with me, he mopped around at home doing nothing. Oh, and he DOES have money because he brags on Twitter about buying lots of expensive alcohol!

I must admit, this is SO TYPICAL of every single friend I've ever had. They always lose interest.

So, why do 'friends' lie or don't care?

The average "friend" just seems to treat their friends like their a bunch of glass items they collect, if one breaks they just find a new one most of the time...


Sorrry if my response if confusing its the best way I could think of typing it

I don't lend money now because I'm taken for a ride so much.

I often genuinely don't have money to go to meetups, but it's not like I don't try the next time.

I don't really understand that either, if there was money involved I would have definitely paid you back as soon as I could. advise, my dad says never give money expecting it back, it does not work a lot of the time.

I find that people don't really keep to their promises, e.g. "we will have to keep in touch" seems to be the main one, but I cannot deny that I am at fault as well, I am not very good keeping contact with people not because I don't like them I just forget.

I think its a big problem, if people don't mean what they say like your friend how are we meant to ever know what's sincere and what's not.

On one hand, maybe it was a "nice way" of saying they didn't want to be with you. Personally, I don't see what's so nice about it, as if you don't realise then you could ask them again.

But if that was the case, they should at least have the decency to pay you back.

Honestly, most people who want to be your "friend" are just out to use people.

Few people who want to be called "friend" deserve the title. That's just the way it is.

Someone suggested I try and confront them (though, my way of 'confronting' would be to email them or something like that) and outright ask if there's a problem or why they haven't kept in touch and done what they said they would. But how on earth do I word it so I don't come across as rude? I just want to know what his pathetic excuse is, which would probably be bullsh*t anyway, but still.

This link will help you learn all about it.

It will just start downloading but it's ok. Open with an audio player. Delete via

Right click start >> explore/open windows explorer >> downloads folder >> locate file >> delete

I included these instructions because I don't want anyone to download this without know how to remove it... not to insult your intelligence honestly, but I can just see some 90 year old clicking links and instantly downloading things and just filling up his hard drive with viruses and whatnot. It's clean though! I checked.