Through the rabbit hole...

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I think it's because some NTs might assume you are embarrassed of yourself BECAUSE they are embarrassed of you. You might ask why they have feelings like embarrassment or pity towards you. I'm afraid I don't have the answers. I guess people may think they couldn't possibly be happy being you, and they project that.

I'm not saying you need to be pitied or feel embarrassed, by the way. The interactions you've had with people seem odd to me. I suspect the male who you had the interaction with may have been projecting his own problems onto you, also.

Goodbye. Sorry you got hurt.

I know exactly what it's like to want to give up on the human race. I wish only good things for you. Namaste.

I wanted to share them with people which is why I wanted to teach.

I will make phone calls later as I can't go on like this. Someone has to help me find secure friends that I can spend time enjoying light hearted banter with.

I will put in for a transfer to move from where I am living also. I like the area but the people are weird up here and don't seem to be well themselves. I think they need to keep their worthlessness issues for their therapist. I can't help them, I don't think they are interested in being helped by considering a change of belief systems which would be more practical and less painful for them and it is best left to someone else. I am no longer willing to address such subjects with people.

If they are having issues with either believing they themselves or others are worthless they need to see a professional.

I think living here is harmful to my mental health. I don't really understand why people are not willing to listen to me. And I don't understand what is so hard to understand about my way of thinking or even what is wrong with it. I also don't understand why people think they would be happier than me...the only thing causing me misery in my life is my loneliness and people are causing that with the lack of acceptance with me.

Over the years I have gone out of my way to be kind to people, but being kind does not always mean wrapping them up in cotton wool. For example you can't keep enabling a drug addict past the point where the drugs are clearly doing them considerable harm. To continue to do so would be akin to inflicting that harm on them yourself. I am guilty of not assisting a drug addict because I didn't feel he really wanted to change his drug use for himself. 4 Years ago when I started talking to this person he said he was trying to change his drug use and in those 4 years he has only gotten worse, not better. He is adding more and more drugs (illegal and over the counter) into his life, so determined is he that they will cure his depression. Things seem to be getting worse for him.

His intellect and ability to logically process information has been affected.
His reading comprehension is altered negatively
His behaviour is unsettling and becoming more and more bizarre
His depression is getting worse.
His financial situation is getting worse
And he is close to getting fired because he is often too sick to go into work.

I tried to advise him, as I have had addictions myself (alcohol and nicotine and to a less degree opiate painkillers) and have recovered from them. I wanted to pass on my technique as it has been successful but was slammed by both the drug user and other addicts because I refuse to see it as a disease I have no control over. I find that approach weakens my belief in myself which interferes with my recovery. It is not that you can't quit with belief alone but that belief that you can recover does need to be there. Thinking of it as some outisde force or disease that you are inflicted with takes part of your control away and eats away at your self confidence.

In the 4 years since he said he would sort his drug use out I have successfully quit smoking, changed my diet to the paleo diet by gradually extracting grains, processed foods, limiting dairy and so on, have recovered from my physical symptoms (except low mood and broken sleep), have joined a gym and have lost over a stone (15lbs now) in weight without having to calorie count and whilst living on foods like steak, roast beef, quail, pheasant, venison, wild salmon, fresh fruits and veg and nuts and 90% dark chocolate as a treat etc (good hearty food...satisfying, I a not left hungry).

I am not bragging...it can be done by others too. And this is my problem. I wanted to share my methods with others so that they could have success with them too.

Ok i gave up my tv package to afford the venison and what not but that was my choice lol, I don't expect others to do that.

I was just trying to be helpful and yet I was attacked by this person. He is vegetarian so I even adapted my advice and suggested at some point he might consider trying a vegetarian based paleo diet (it can be done if necessary...eggs are a solid part of the diet and some people include dairy and grains can be soaked before use the traditional way etc) but it seems he was not open to the suggestion.

I then get attacked by this person whilst he goes on for hours about my not being perfect and that I had to indulge in other behaviours I would consider to be self blaming for some imaginary crime I apparently had committed and deserved to be alone forever for....

I won't try and help humans again. I will keep my advice and methods to myself.

People have made it clear it's not welcome. So I'll go.

Ouch... it hurts to see you experiencing this and you did nothing to deserve it

You have a lot to offer as a human being, I admire you for your long list of achievements mentioned previously, too they are another reason why I like you so much as well as the other reasons I have written to you about or mentioned on the forum.

Perhaps I'm not as eloquent as kraftiekortie but speaking both as a human being and a man that thinks you're a lovely lady, I have to say kraftiekortie nailed it:

You're a very attractive person on the outside both in terms of being a nice person

and from my point of view, as a gorgeous, sexy woman

(The one I "liked" on FB is even better but I won't link it here in public without your permission) .

And I already know that you have much on the inside as well and you have shown a lot of it on this forum. I also wish I was as gifted as academically as you too... maybe I would have got a first instead of a 2(1).

So if you don't come back here (hell, you may not even see this) at least carry out your plan to look at "the other forum", where people like drug dude and the abusive people where you live wouldn't last five seconds before being banned. I know some of the mods personally and they are all good people.

In the end, you don't need to feel judged by those people; they may think in terms of worth or not, but if their values are not yours you have no duty to share these values if you don't want to.

Lots of people here have said how much they like you and you know much potential I see in you from what I have written you both on the forum and in private. You are have a lot to offer a lot of people.

Those who care that you are not perfect are people whose opinions are immoral and ultimately (when you escape them as you wish to) irrelevant.


(Sorry if this was a bit rushed, I had no idea you were feeling this bad and it took me by surprise.)

I hope you come back. I like your posts.

I seem to be having some problem leaving....I seem to keep getting stuck in the revolving door on my way out.

There were paleo diet posts to be made.

Hi Bumble,

I hope you have a nice rest of the evening.

sometimes revolving doors do good things.