Page 1 of 2 [ 17 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Mikemi35
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 21 Mar 2014
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 19
Location: Harrison Township, MI

25 Apr 2014, 12:09 am

I am always very unsettled and disturbed when I hear people yell at each other. Growing up and living with my sister who is Bi-Polar was difficult because she would yell at my mother a lot. I would hide under my blankets in my room a lot, even if it was 90 degrees outside. During middle and high school all of the kids would gather to watch fights after school. I could never bring myself to watch them, I hate to see people get hurt. I tend to "shut down" if i'm caught in the middle of an argument, although I have tried to mediate a few arguments, to no effect. I seem to further enrage people when I try to be the voice of reason.



TrippyPhysics
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 10 Mar 2014
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 67

25 Apr 2014, 12:14 am

i further enrage people to when i speak, im supposively always wrong an no one understands me, i always shut down something little happens thats bad or sad an ill imeddiately just lose my speaking and zone outbut feel really depressed and wanna cry, ive been through alot for someone young i think it all depends on your factors if you shutdown,how much you shutdown,when you shutown, etc..but if i were u if this happens go escape from people an just sit in the bathroom read listen to music write anything just time alone it will really help



linatet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Sep 2013
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 934
Location: beloved Brazil

25 Apr 2014, 7:08 am

I identify with that so much! I HATE people yelling, fighting, discussing.
when that happens in my house I get disturbed and may cry, hide myself, lock myself in the bathroom, or shutdown. My mother said last time: "stop acting like that! You are not a child anymore. People discuss!" but I just can't see it like that.
maybe off topic but I am also afraid of people that speak loud, fighting or not,



neobluex
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 May 2013
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 589
Location: Argentina

25 Apr 2014, 8:40 am

I can argue (make arguments) but I can't "argue" (yell at people).

I can't reason with people because they get aggressive; they speak too much and too loud.



EzraS
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,828
Location: Twin Peaks

25 Apr 2014, 9:40 am

me too. it overloads me.



CyclopsSummers
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,172
Location: The Netherlands

25 Apr 2014, 2:26 pm

I have developed a deep dislike for fighting/arguments, because I was almost constantly exposed to my mother and father fighting when I was a child. On-and-off, this would go on from about my 7th year all the way down to my 16th and even beyond I've witnessed some nasty fights between them. Frequently. Sometimes, not a day would go by in which they weren't at each other's throats.

So yeah, that imprinted on me a thorough dislike of verbal conflict (and I can't say I'm a fan of physical conflict either). I tend to avoid any kind of conflict as a result, even minor squibbles. That's how sick the experience with my parents has made me toward fighting.


_________________
clarity of thought before rashness of action


Sylvastor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 781
Location: Germany

25 Apr 2014, 2:37 pm

I can't stand fights either.


_________________
Diagnosed with Aspergers.
BSP-errors are awesome.


qawer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,252

25 Apr 2014, 2:41 pm

I feel the same way.

The reason is sensory overload.

The only way to try to get around it is to get better at viewing the big picture, thus temporarily becoming less sensitive.

That is done by thinking "in people": viewing all people as one big united group, instead of tons of individuals as we usually do.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,739
Location: the island of defective toy santas

25 Apr 2014, 4:53 pm

violence sucks. not just physical but mental/psychological as well.



FallingDownMan
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 27 May 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 382

25 Apr 2014, 6:05 pm

Everything I say is rehearsed to some extent, and when I get off the rehearsed conversations, my mind starts to shut down. Arguments are the worse case example for me as most of it gets off of my rehearsed material, and I shut down completely. Everything the other person is saying sounds so true, and suddenly everything I had rehearsed sounds so false. I can't come up with any defenses for my side of the argument, and end up losing the argument. I have a strong tendency to turn my back and walk away from arguments. This always angers the other person, but it gives me room to clear my mind and ponder over what the other person said to me. Of course, when I return they want to resume the argument and have a dozen replies to each new defense I came up with.

Simply put, I hate arguments. I never win any of them and always come out feeling like an idiot and a looser.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,739
Location: the island of defective toy santas

25 Apr 2014, 6:08 pm

there's no arguing with people under the horatio alger meme delusion, as their entire self-image is all wrapped around "get rich or die trying."



KB8CWB
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Feb 2014
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 637
Location: West Salem, Ohio

25 Apr 2014, 6:49 pm

I HATE drama in any form. I avoid fights at all costs as I refuse to participate.



a_dork
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 433
Location: wonderland

26 Apr 2014, 5:45 pm

People yelling at each other is number three on my list of annoying sounds, right behind fire alarms and popping balloons. The loudness vibrates into my ears just enough to give me a killer headache. If it lasts long enough, I start to shut down from sensory overload. Oh, and I get to hear someone's feelings get hurt.


_________________
“Oh - You're a very bad man!
Oh, no my dear. I'm a very good man. I'm just a very bad Wizard.”

― L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz


LtlPinkCoupe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,044
Location: In my room, where it's safe

26 Apr 2014, 10:51 pm

I don't like fights either, not even minor disagreements or brief arguments that just blow over after a few minutes. :( It might have something to do with my parents divorcing when I was about 5 and a half...I must have concluded, "Fighting means people don't like/love each other anymore."


_________________
I wish Sterling Holloway narrated my life.

"IT'S NOT FAIR!" "Life isn't fair, Calvin." "I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in MY favor?" ~ from Calvin and Hobbes


TheBlueEyedAlien
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2012
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 127
Location: Planet Earth

27 Apr 2014, 7:16 pm

I hate fighting too. The times that me and my sister fought, it didn't matter who "won" the fight it just mattered that my sister soon learned to not dare approach me after it was over. I'd get so angry and worked up that I'd have to go in a quiet room alone to try and calm myself down. I hate it more that in schools and in my neighborhood that fighting is praised and it shows how "tough" you are.


_________________
Big things have small beginnings...
- David (Prometheus)


TheBlueEyedAlien
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2012
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 127
Location: Planet Earth

27 Apr 2014, 7:17 pm

I hate fighting too. The times that me and my sister fought, it didn't matter who "won" the fight it just mattered that my sister soon learned to not dare approach me after it was over. I'd get so angry and worked up that I'd have to go in a quiet room alone to try and calm myself down. I hate it more that in schools and in my neighborhood that fighting is praised and it shows how "tough" you are.


_________________
Big things have small beginnings...
- David (Prometheus)