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rebbieh
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19 May 2014, 4:14 am

Tremendous exam/performance anxiety. Exam on Friday and I don't get how I'm supposed to learn everything until then. The instructions are unclear. I'm at university now. People everywhere. Noisy. Very noisy. Lots of people moving around, which makes me distracted and anxious. I can't focus on my studies. I don't feel motivated. I feel like crying. I feel like going home and hide in my bed but I can't because I need to study and it's even more difficult to focus at home.

I'm anxious. It hurts somewhere on the inside because I'm so anxious. My boyfriend is sending me texts with questions about the summer that I can't answer. I feel like I'm going to fail the exam. I hate people (right now at least). Overloaded. Don't know what to do. Screaming on the inside. I need to get out of my head so I can study though all I want is to shut out the world and withdraw. I can't calm down. No. Just want to cover my ears and run out of here but I can't. Must. Study. AHHH, people are screaming and making loads of noises (no, there's not a more quiet place where I can sit right now). Also, my phone is messing with me so now I'm angry too. Ok. I'm freaking out. I can't calm down.

Need to share this with someone. This is probably incoherent. Sorry. I'll probably feel ashamed about this later but right now I just need to get it off my chest.



conundrum
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19 May 2014, 4:43 am

I've been there...many times. :(

Sadly, I'm not sure what to suggest...eventually, it would just "burn itself out", which I know doesn't help much.

Do you have any favorite music that helps you shut everything out? If so, I'd suggest putting in earbuds and listening to that until you calm down/fall asleep (I don't know what time it is where you are, but even a nap might help, if you could manage one--can you find somewhere to withdraw to for that? Home might work, even if you can't study there.).

Then, upon waking, eat something (if you can), or at least drink water, and try to review the instructions. Ask the professor for help (e-mail) if necessary. However, they might look a bit clearer after calming and resting.

When you are in that bad of a state, get away from it for a while. Nothing will get accomplished otherwise.

Hope that helps somewhat (and didn't just sound like "pat" advice--I honestly can't remember much afterwards when I get that bad, so I don't know what's *actually* helped me), and good luck on your exams.

And finally--text your bf and say you have to be unavailable until after Friday. No exceptions (unless he can actually help you review, constructively). He needs to understand this.


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aspieMD
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19 May 2014, 6:19 am

Earplugs are beautiful and amazing and wonderful. That, and try to get a quiet study room or carrel at the library - I find college libraries quieter than at home!

Best of luck, you've made it this far, you can do it!!'



AlienorAspie
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19 May 2014, 6:50 am

I hope you are feeling better, and please dont regret posting! i get the same thing where I'll outpour, then think about it later and want to die of embarrassment, but if you are embarrassed about being stressed in this situation then you shouldnt be!

I can remember feeling like this at college a little (I am so aware of my facial expressions/body language that I didn't like being in the library), although I didn't stress about exams. If I had, I would've achieved a lot more. Some anxiety helps us do better, because we see it as important.

The only definite thing i can say is that, although it seems like the be-all-end-all right now, even if you did fail this test (That WONT happen), it wouldnt affect the course of your life as much as you think. Not many people look at grades in the real world, as many employers got there by working their way up. They like to see if you work hard and could do the job, not that your tests were 100% in everything. Obviously it depends what you're studying, but don't expect yourself to be perfect ALL the time. I bet the best doctors are not often the ones who found their exams easy.

Once you release the pressure from yourself (and I agree it is better to get away from the situation, even if its just for a short break, to allow you to see it in perspective), you can re-focus. Make sure you eat and drink enough too- your brain will be using a lot of energy x

You'll do great because you are obviously passionate about it :)


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kraftiekortie
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19 May 2014, 9:04 am

I think you'll do well. I've had lots of exam anxiety myself. Is there a way you could just go into a quiet area, like a library, to study?



rebbieh
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19 May 2014, 11:08 am

Ok, it's been a few hours and I feel a bit better now (I'm exhausted though). I eventually ended up leaving the place where I was sitting and went to a lab and visited a professor of mine and talked about bacteriology and research for almost 1.5 hours. After that I felt a bit better and actually managed to study for another two hours or so.

Bit worried about how this weeks is going to turn out though. It's Monday and I've already had an anxiety attack/sensory overload (a pretty bad one). I've got another assessment session on Wednesday and I tend to feel pretty horrible after those since they're so draining and and I'm super anxious about the exam. I really want to pass the exam. If I do then I've passed all the exams this year, with quite good grades. I don't want to have to retake it in August.

Anyway, thanks for the advice and all of that. Listening to music didn't help. I heard people anyway. They were really loud. I'm going to try to sit someplace else tomorrow. I'm going to try to sit where I usually sit. Unfortunately it was occupied today.