Part-time participation in the world

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Does anyone else feel like that's what they could handle without being in a constant state of collapse from exhaustion?
Part time work, part time socialising, part time relationship?
I don't know how people can handle a full-time job, a social life and a relationship. How do they even find enough hours in the day?

The Squid can come close. He works 80 hours a week, and will participate in friendly socializing at least 8-16 hours a month. The Squid is done with actual relationships however, as they are too strange and taxing. For us, It's not about "Finding the time, it's more about what is required to continue with the life we have, and love. If we don't work so much, we lose our home and belongings, and if we don't seek friendly companionship, we will blow up from work stress. The Squid thinks, to each their own.

How little are you getting paid per hour that you need to work that much to avoid homelessness?

Who Am I- Do you feel that you are constantly in state of near collapse or exhaustion all the time even if you are not working? My last regular full time job didnt go so well and I would say I was at or past that point. Come home from work around 5, sleep until 10, wake up for a few hours then go back to bed.

Squid- I have a few of my own companies and work for a few others, non tradition types of jobs. There are times when I feel like I could easily work 80hrs a week on those things and some weeks I do! But the regular job just killed me.

No, and it's not work as such that's the problem: it's having to deal with people that exhausts me. I'd do a lot better working a very solitary job.

The Squid's answer is a wonderful two jobs, both paying $7.50 an hour!

Yes

Really I just tune out at a certain point when my brain can't handle any more.

I am always exhausted.

I think worst is worrying, wondering what will come at me and when in terms of someone who acted ok in the moment but was internally uncomfortable with something about me, so everything becomes bad. I get overwhelmed, get in trouble with people at work who want me not to be or seem strange, makes socializing a nightmare as right now everyone I'm around values conformity.

So maybe it's the trying to please other people, trying to fit in instead of much focus on it being ok to please myself that makes full time living impossible. Not sure if that would apply, but maybe some.

I sure can't. That much social interaction would drive me into panic attacks every other day. I work full time 60 hours a week, but the bulk of it is spent alone. I could never do it otherwise.

Hi Squid,

You seem like a pretty bright guy. You're also pretty psychologically sophisticated. I'm sorry you have to work all those hours just to make ends meet. Has the Squid a college degree? I know it's difficult to go on interviews when you are so occupied--but maybe we could come up with some kind of plan where you could get a better job at more than minimum wage.

As long as you don't squirt me with that ink (hard to wash off!)

By the way, I'm working about 60 hours a week, so I somewhat could feel what you feel. However, I have two office jobs which is a bit easier than your situation, where you probably have to work in retail or something.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 24 May 2014, 8:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

I seem to be the most comfortable with "almost zero-time participation in the world".

Part-time college was too much
part-time social (if it was even considered that) was too much

Though I seem to be able to do the equivalent of part-time work as long as it's all on my terms, simple and away from people. Though I go through periods where that's too much.

It just seems like...surviving (such as getting food and medicine from the shops) is work enough for me.

NTs in fact gain energy from socializing. Opposite us. Socializing for them gives them energy just as we get it from alone time.

I've been fortunate to have "lived life" a bit. I know, if I'm in a bad situation, that I could rely on my books.

When I was younger, the stress of working one full-time job caused me to take to my bed, for the most part, on the weekends. I was never a social person; I became even less so in my 20's.

Because of this, I got into relationships--not really bad, per se--but not good, either. I never saved money. I got into debt. I blame myself, not the relationships.

Who-am-I: I'm pretty sure music education could be quite draining. You have to be quite precise in what you do, right? Do you play in a chamber quartet or something as well? More stress! Perfectionists amid your perfectionism could cause you to "go over the edge."

At least we have the solace of Wrong Planet, right? It's not a panacea--but it's something I didn't have available in my 20s and 30s--no internet! I used to hang out in video arcades, and would have really had bad relationships had I pursue the girls I met in those places.

During my younger years when I tried to hold down full-time jobs, I always crashed and burned within just months. Even an eight hour day just felt like a long, long journey down a nightmare road because of the forced and continual contact with other people -- my fellow staff as well as customers (I worked in retail).

It also felt tough to get home and know that I had only a few hours to recover mentally and physically before getting up early and having to do it all again. It all always caught up with me in the form of meltdowns, increasingly strained and awkward dealings with the staff and bosses, and me storming out of the job, or feeling pushed out by the staff and bosses who increasingly hated me, and I them. Everything would start great but wind up a mess.

The only thing I found I could handle was being self employed in a job that gave me a large amount of solitude. I never worked anything more than a 40 hour week, usually only half that. I now work very few hours, and even that is a strain on me. My tolerances for people-contact and people's bullsh!t has gotten worse, if anything, over the years, and just three days of work a week now cause me a mountain of "recovery time."

I don't have much of a social life (through choice) but even the few people who know me to chat with in a park I frequent are too much for me most weeks. If one or two of these acquaintances engage me in conversation longer than my tolerance boundaries, I'm recovering from that for a long time too.

Relationships are a bit different, for me. When I'm in one, it's because I've found someone I CAN actually enjoy the company of almost endlessly. It's like whenever I stumble across someone like that, they are the only one I "let through the gate" kind of thing, and I can talk with that person and be around them for hours.

But that's only a rare thing.

.

I probably work 80+ hours a week with research and tutoring, but much more research than tutoring, so I am mostly work alone, sometimes at lab and sometimes at home, and I don't do any social activities, which are most major drain on energy like my brain feels killed after a day with too much socializing, but my brain feels good and energized doing research things constantly, unless I have to write something, which takes much more time and effort for a short written thing than does a whole project of eggsperiments and data analysis, so I think that I found my niche in terms of type of work that is best for me, which is neuroscience research that is different from my prior physical science research that takes many more hours in the lab and always having to be there to run eggsperiments, because in neuro, it is more like I run a lot of eggperiements in short period like 1 or 2 weeks, then I spend a lot of time analyzing data and making sense of it or developing the next eggsperiment, which is my favorite part, getting a new study up and running.

I Am 26. I work part time 3 days a week and I have 4 days off to actually live my life.

I rent out a room and I am always on my PC Playing games, listening to music, reading. I sleep in sometimes and take naps whenever i feel tired. My landlord is the closest and only friend I have. I have money in the bank and can buy PC parts whenever I wish. I have no bills, debt, car, or responsibilities. I am completely independant and do not rely on others. I am as happy as I could ever be.

I don't understand why people complicate their lives so needlessly. Why work full time? Why get married? Why have children? Why buy a car? Why have bills? Why buy a big house? Why get into debt? Wtf. That all just seems like an enormous amount of stress to me. People have strange emotional needs and always seem to want more and more...

Last edited by Dreycrux on 24 May 2014, 8:10 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Part time is definitely all I can handle. I work part-time. I could work longer hours, if I could spend most of my time working alone, but I have to deal with a lot of people and it's completely exhausting. I feel like I don't have a life. I don't have a social life at all, other than online and being around family.

I want more out of life. I just don't have the energy to do more. People exhaust me but it's not just being around people that makes me tired. It's just going places and doing things in general, seeing too many different things for my eyes to take in, too much light, breathing in bad air and smells and too much dust, too many temperature changes, hearing too many jumbled up sounds and loud sounds and unexpected sounds, and trying to understand what people are saying when background noise is drowning them out, and most of all the movements of people and things around me which gives me seasick out of balance feeling. It makes me feel like my brain is nauseated.