25 May 2014, 2:00 pm
goldfish21
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25 May 2014, 2:21 pm
Past me can relate.
Definitely an ASD thing.
I had about 20 different usernames on a really large and popular internet forum over several years of being banned for getting into arguments before I stopped caring about the subject of the forum and didn't have a reason to go back. Also, I didn't feel like subjecting myself to the negativity I was getting from some of the members there, so it made sense to just not spend any time there anymore. It's been years since I've been there. I've been banned on some other forums in the past, too.
It's the textual equivalent of not being able to read social cues or understand what's going on or how what you've said could be perceived as offensive in some way or another. It's all ASD related. Your perception is that you're being critical, but not negative, as it's not your intent to be rude.. but their perception is that you're a pessimistic argumentative as*hole that no one wants to be around. Just calling it like I see it.
Sure, I still get into "forum debates," i.e. here on WP where there are some people who either directly, or passively, call me a liar for posting some things I've shared.. but I don't tend to react to it very strongly at all anymore so I don't have issues with mods pm-ing me about my behaviour or getting banned etc. IMO, I'm a lot better at reading social cues both on and offline than I ever have been, so these things aren't nearly the issue they were for me when my ASD symptoms were much stronger and had a lot greater influence over my behaviour and my life. In addition to treating ASD symptoms, I've also read quite a few self improvement books as well as had years of experience/practice at being a better me. It takes time and effort to improve your abilities to navigate the social world, whether in real life or even on an internet forum.. so don't beat yourself up about it if you can't instantly change, improve, and have an intuitive understanding of social expectations and boundaries. Just work on yourself and improving your abilities to interact with others bit by bit and over time you'll do better. You may want to start by reading a book like "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome," if you haven't already so that you have a clinical baseline understanding of all the things ASD can & does tend to influence in your life, which should help you identify your own ASD behaviours that get you into these sorts of situations.. even if it's in hindsight, at least you'll be better able to do a self analysis and see what you can perhaps try to do differently in the future.
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for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.25 May 2014, 2:28 pm
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
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Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
25 May 2014, 2:32 pm
Good luck! 
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for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.25 May 2014, 2:37 pm
Good luck!
Not to sound like a rule breaker. I found The Complete Guide to Aspergers by Tony Atwood as a PDF online and am Now reading it. I feel kind of stupid and embarrassed because I am a 20 year old something man who should probably know what his triggers are and what he is doing wrong. Yet, I am completely oblivious to it.
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
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Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
25 May 2014, 2:45 pm
Good luck!
Not to sound like a rule breaker. I found The Complete Guide to Aspergers by Tony Atwood as a PDF online and am Now reading it. I feel kind of stupid and embarrassed because I am a 20 year old something man who should probably know what his triggers are and what he is doing wrong. Yet, I am completely oblivious to it.
No need to feel stupid and embarrassed about it, as what you describe is a completely textbook ASD trait. It's a symptom of ASD that you're completely oblivious to things like that, and at the moment completely beyond your control.
And trust me, every single one of us on this forum has felt stupid and embarrassed due to being oblivious about something or other that we figured out after the fact when it was too late. But the more I've learned about all of this stuff, the more I realize we shouldn't beat ourselves up over it in the least bit because all of it is simply the nature of ASD and really ought to be our own expected norms.
And I say "at the moment completely beyond your control," because as I've shared in the link in my sig I've managed to reduce my ASD and other symptoms significantly and now have much better control over all of these things.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.25 May 2014, 2:50 pm
Good luck!
Not to sound like a rule breaker. I found The Complete Guide to Aspergers by Tony Atwood as a PDF online and am Now reading it. I feel kind of stupid and embarrassed because I am a 20 year old something man who should probably know what his triggers are and what he is doing wrong. Yet, I am completely oblivious to it.
No need to feel stupid and embarrassed about it, as what you describe is a completely textbook ASD trait. It's a symptom of ASD that you're completely oblivious to things like that, and at the moment completely beyond your control.
And trust me, every single one of us on this forum has felt stupid and embarrassed due to being oblivious about something or other that we figured out after the fact when it was too late. But the more I've learned about all of this stuff, the more I realize we shouldn't beat ourselves up over it in the least bit because all of it is simply the nature of ASD and really ought to be our own expected norms.
And I say "at the moment completely beyond your control," because as I've shared in the link in my sig I've managed to reduce my ASD and other symptoms significantly and now have much better control over all of these things.
What I wanted to know, since I am reading this is. Escape into Imagination seems greatly attached to the Female Aspergers. Can males develop the Escape into Imagination as well? Because that is something I still do today to cope with stress. I am a fiction writer, I like horror and fantasy.
goldfish21
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Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
25 May 2014, 2:55 pm
Yes, that's a pretty common AS trait. I don't recall reading/learning that it's more a female trait than male. Maybe it is, but I'm sure anyone on the spectrum can use it as a coping mechanism.
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No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.25 May 2014, 3:00 pm
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
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Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
25 May 2014, 3:05 pm
Sweet. Cause that part of the paragraph really spoke to me. Took me back to a not so good time in life, still not so good. I would much rather my imaginary world than the real one. Oh that sounds sad.
Its why Online forums and chatrooms appeal to me. Because I can design a persona and be more comfortable as that persona than my normal self. Man I hate sounding like a freak right now.
But basically my usernames and aliases are all characters in my mind. There are elements of myself of course. Like this thread is the truth. Its just my characters are always more confident than me, mentally stronger, the character is the strength in willpower and character. Its the mask I hide behind because I am not comfortable enough with myself.
Wow, does that sound stupid or crazy? I feel like a freak.
Neither. As you'll get to in your reading, creating personas & a "mask," to hide behind is an AS trait. In real life, it's psyching yourself up and temporarily becoming that stronger more confident person and then portraying it like a talented actor to get yourself through a given situation. It's quite draining, though, and then like an actor who's just given their best performance of their career, we tend to need time alone to de-stress and recharge. Doing it on forums with character personas is just the digital textual equivalent.
No need to feel like a freak when we're all the same type of freak around here.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.25 May 2014, 3:09 pm
Sweet. Cause that part of the paragraph really spoke to me. Took me back to a not so good time in life, still not so good. I would much rather my imaginary world than the real one. Oh that sounds sad.
Its why Online forums and chatrooms appeal to me. Because I can design a persona and be more comfortable as that persona than my normal self. Man I hate sounding like a freak right now.
But basically my usernames and aliases are all characters in my mind. There are elements of myself of course. Like this thread is the truth. Its just my characters are always more confident than me, mentally stronger, the character is the strength in willpower and character. Its the mask I hide behind because I am not comfortable enough with myself.
Wow, does that sound stupid or crazy? I feel like a freak.
Neither. As you'll get to in your reading, creating personas & a "mask," to hide behind is an AS trait. In real life, it's psyching yourself up and temporarily becoming that stronger more confident person and then portraying it like a talented actor to get yourself through a given situation. It's quite draining, though, and then like an actor who's just given their best performance of their career, we tend to need time alone to de-stress and recharge. Doing it on forums with character personas is just the digital textual equivalent.
No need to feel like a freak when we're all the same type of freak around here.
Well you definetely make feel less inhuman and feel more okay with the habits I have developed. I turned to the net, despite the fact that I don't like socializing, I turned to the net because I can be anyone I want. Anyone who could fit in, all though the irony is I don't fit in. Or maybe its when my mask begins to fade and I show people just a taste of who I really am they begin to pull away. The irony is that I create the mask to feel like I belong somewhere and yet I don't really.
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
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Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
25 May 2014, 3:15 pm
You're reminding me of feeling that way in the past, and it's a good thing, because it reminds me just how far I've come. Sometimes I get a little frustrated having not made more progress in life/work/finances than I have to date, but when I stop and think about how far I've come from where I was - i.e. when you remind me of things like this - then I realize just how much I actually have changed and improved and am a whole lot more content with my progress. Present day, I can't recall the last time I actually consciously (or subconsciously) utilized a "mask," persona to get through something. I do consciously try to be more assertive/aggressive in some ways, and still have a long way to go on that, but I no longer hide behind a fictitious me just to navigate through some social interaction or another.. and it's a beautiful thing to realize that. Thanks for reminding me. 
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for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.25 May 2014, 3:19 pm
You're welcome. And thank you kindly for helping me, talking to me. Because I am extremely confused right now. And frustrated. A lot of frustration. Because I just don't know how to fix myself. Or if I should fix myself. Often times I describe myself as
"Someone so broken, I am aware that I am broken, but all I can do is patch up the pieces with duct tape"
I am a Man of Duct Tape. Constantly just taping over old wounds and old mistakes. Never learning from them. Never understanding them. Never knowing what is a mistake or what was miscommunication.
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
25 May 2014, 3:23 pm
"Someone so broken, I am aware that I am broken, but all I can do is patch up the pieces with duct tape"
I am a Man of Duct Tape. Constantly just taping over old wounds and old mistakes. Never learning from them. Never understanding them. Never knowing what is a mistake or what was miscommunication.
Been there, felt that, hated it, knew there had to be something better - since there's always a better way - and toughed it out through years of frustration until I finally met the right people and learned the right things in order to honest to God actually fix myself pretty good. Click and read the link in my signature for my story about all that, and feel free to PM me about any of it if you like.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
25 May 2014, 3:24 pm
25 May 2014, 3:33 pm
