Competitiveness?

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I'm curious about the tendency to become someone of competitive nature. I would imagine, (but of course could well stand corrected,) that for several reasons this would be strange for anyone on the spectrum. Honestly though I would admit that I am probably far too competitive for my own good. I have mostly lived my adult life in the world of NTs, trying the best I can to keep up. Anything they can do I felt I could or should be able to do, just as well. I feel like I learned at a pretty young age that to be nearly as good I'd need to work twice as hard, to stand out, to try and try and never stop trying, to be the one whose name they would remember. Throughout my working life, though I never really had a "great" job, so far I've chased every small promotion I could see, just trying to be a little closer to the top. I my mind, its not even really about the tiny bit more pay. Its about the responsibility and fact that basically I just cant help myself. I've never been promoted in any job, even once in my life yet, but I feel like since I;m still young enough I have tons of time and new jobs to try, and since working twice as hard as others isn't enough, I guess I think I'll just try to be three times as good.

I do it is social situations too. A fact I actually find a bit comical if not aggravating. I know full well I cant do it. I know my very condition negates any hope of such things in general, but when placed in highly social group situations, I find myself constantly trying to out-socialize NTs. Of course I'm not even overly interesting in being around a lot of people in my downtime for long hours at once. I just trying to do it as well as others anyway, because well like much else in life, I think if they can do it, I darn well will too.

The competitiveness tends to show itself in all kinds of odd places and situations, particularly when someone directly or indirectly implies I can't or shouldn't do something. Sometimes I get right on my own nerves. I worry at times I'll never quite be happy enough with where I am in any given situation, and will always aim higher and higher, even if I do succeed in getting where I think I want to be at this time. perhaps I simply feel, and have always felt that, I too often come out on the bottom and started to get tired ot it?

Is this an odd thing? Can anyone else relate to this?

the opposite, from what I know aspies (don't know about classical autistics) tend to be competitive!
I am, a lot. Not the kind of competitive like doing anything to win, but the kind of competitive that will work hard to be number one, and then help number two.

Welcome to WP Dashboardlogic. I can be very competitive.

I can be competitive at times. Or I can try to justify my faults when people criticise me. I think it all stems from my perfectionism. I'm very far from perfect but I keep thinking I should be.

having lived most of my life with ASD's i can say it's no different. i always shrived to keep up with asd kids who were better at stuff then me. anything they could do i wanted to be able to do just as well. funny, i don't remember feeling that way about my NT cousin almost my age i've grown up with or my nt friend i've known since i was 9. just asd kids i've grown up with.

I am also ridiculously competitive, to the point of probable annoyance.

I've been told that I have a competitive streak, and I've realized that is really true.

I have zero competitiveness, early on in life I learned that having fun and winning are true separate things; when I'm too concerned on winning, I never have fun.

That's actually what led me to stop liking multiplayer pvp games, it pools me in with a lot of people that are just concerned with winning, winning's not fun! screwing around and general tomfoolery is!

I never did well at tennis, because it seems like winning required more than doing my best. I always tried to return every ball, but I never had that passion to dominate and crush my opponent. In my classes, too, I don't care if everyone gets an A, so long as I get a near-perfect score on every assignment and test.

I don't know if that counts as competitiveness in the ordinary sense.

I don't mind winning. I just stopped playing online death match games because I was bad at them.

The guys who win at those games probably devote most of their gaming time to just one game and it's sequels. I like to play lots of different games so I can never get really good at just one. I guess that rule applies in any sort of competition. The winner will be the guy who has no other hobby. The athlete who gets the gold medal will be sponsored by the state and have spent several years with training as their full time job. Unless the Olympian is high school age, then they need 8 hours training per day + school + homework. In other words they spend every waking moment either studying or training.
/tangent

I am quite competitive when playing games ? be it computer games (e.g. Words with Friends), Board Games (e.g., Scrabble, Master Mind, Risk) and Card Games. I like to win. When young, I was equally competitive when playing outdoor games (e.g. volleyball, tennis). Though, I was terrible (and almost always lost).

With that being said, even though I do like winning, I would never cheat.

I am both extrememly competitive and very sportmanslike. It's a very rare combination I have found out. I am trying to scale back my competitive streak as much as possible because I am sure it turns many people off.

Double post...

Last edited by DashboardLogic on 29 May 2014, 11:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

Interesting to learn that that could well be a somewhat common trait after all. Thanks for the new perspective on that.

I agree with some comments in this thread as well about how having fun is important as well. Fun is great. I suppose it just depends on what exactly it is. Games can be just plain fun and non-competitive, but out in the work force ... well if I can still have a little fun on the job while still trying impossibly hard to be in the top five at annual review time, well then great, lol.

I thought NTs were more competitive.

I don't know if I am. I don't like competitive games much, I prefer solitary games like boggle and Sudoku but maybe in other ways.