So, exactly HOW

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So, exactly HOW is it that so many Autistic people have it in their heads that being independent in any way precludes an individual from working together cooperatively towards common goals? I actually find that common Autistic belief extraordinarily NTish [and not in a good way] So many of us are unemployed and want to work. So many of us are lonely. So many of us take our own lives. So many of us who want to be "a part of" something or a group, whatever, but cannot fit in. So many of us think being Autistic is all kinds of awful. So many of us would love a romantic relationship but never seem to be able to find one.

Autistics, in general, are solution oriented. There are quite a few groups who are out there who are working towards addressing all of these issues and more. So many Autistics fighting for other Autistic and needing others to jump in and be part of the solution.

I have gotten to know quite a few of the people who are making it their mission in life to improve the lives of other Autistics. So many of them are SO frustrated, because, though this is happening, so few are willing to get involved [either with other projects or working on something new,or regional]

I want to know why. I do not understand why anyone would feel enormous pain and suffering [ examples? just read what's on WP] see so many others go through the same thing and not stand up to try to stop it.

I do not understand why there are only 3 autistic retreats for and bu Autistics in the WORLD. I do not understand why, when someone on here speaks of their wish to die because they are so sad and lonely, why they are not deluged with offers of actual physical friendship from those who live locally. I do not understand why Autistics who want to work but cannot because of uneven strengths and weaknesses are not getting involved in partnering with Autistics who have complementary strengths and weaknesses.

I do not believe that we are incapable of working together. The greatest people in the world have been independent thinkers. Smart ones who were aware of the logic of working with others, sharing the best in each other, and sometimes having enough balls to take turns being "in charge." I believe that we can do it better than NTs' because lust for power and prestige are NOT as prevalent in autistics as in NTs'.

So please, explain answer the question. I am autistic and it makes no sense to me at all.

It is harder for me to work with others, because I have to do things my way, and I have difficulty dealing with different ways than my way, and it ackshuly feels like disturbing contamination to have others doing things to my things that I am working on. I can work with others if I have to in mandatory groupwork, but I prefer to work on my own, and I have difficulty voluntarily working with others when I don't have to.

It seems to me like part of Autism for many people (along the spectrum) is being stuck and I think it's so true for so many that it should be a possible condition for diagnosis, like sensory overload issues. They don't know which foot to put forward next so instead of just moving forward however they can, they freeze. They just can't get out of it. It frustrates me to see all the threads about misery, although I will still defend their rights to post them. I think they can't move or they would. This is the tough part about trying to advocate - if you are advocating for people who can't move for themselves, you're going to get nowhere.

What's the answer? It's blowin' in the wind!

I feel that there should be retreats for autistic people all over the world and not in only three locations. It seems to me that the big people like to knock our plans down and that's my theory on the whole scheme of things.

Don't underestimate internet forums like WP that give autistics a sense of community and a way to communicate with and help each other.
There are a lot of autistics who have personal blogs as a way to promote autism awareness and advocacy.

I think you did a wonderful job of putting together a retreat and that should be an inspiration for others.
It takes a lot of understanding of how the world works and what people need and access to resources to organize something like that.

I think the retreats are great too and that they can really help tremendously but like Marybird said, even forums like this one have a huge impact on helping as well. We are helping each other every day here and people's lives do get encouraged and people do change from the interaction in forums like this one. And this format allows people to work independently and, in a sense, together at the same time.

But our kids, including the one who come here,are still killing themselves in astronomical numbers, despite WP existing. Our young people,incredibly talented young people, are mostly unable to work, despite the existence of WP. We are still considered tragedies,depite WP [hell, some of us consider ourselves tragedies, or at least extreme failures]. Don't get me wrong. I thank God for WP every day. WP though,has made it possible for us to go far beyond internet discussions. And I do not feel that many of us are grabbing onto that wonderful opportunity.

I am not trying to attack anyone. I am frustrated that there are so many, way beyond incredible people here, who are sad, and lonely, and afraid, and consider themselves losers, and have so may things they could and would love to share with the world, but seem to be unable to see that there are many options out there. I am so frustrated that so many cannot see that the brass ring is reachable if we grab onto the growing options. And I am so sad and afraid that some people here [just by the way they speak of themselves] do not seem to believe that they are worthy of being able to dream their dreams, let alone actualize them into reallity. And I am dissapointed, brought to tears, that it appears there are so few who will step out, if not for themselves, but to prevent their Autistic brothers sisters and future generations from suffering as they have.

I am not talking of pulling ourselves up by our own bootsraps, nor am I saying we need to try harder [how many of us could have tried any harder? Very few, I'm sure] I am talking about working together cooperatively in such a way that not only will lives be changed for so much the better for Autistics, but, that one day, many NTs' will be looking at what we have accomplished, be in awe at our integrity, kindness, and fairness, and want to model it for all human beings. [ well, maybe]

Why do threads like this die, and threads about the last thing we ate, seem to go on into perpetuity. And the threads about sexism. They started a WP war with all the passion poured into them. Sexism IS an issue, no doubt, but why can't that passion be poured into a discussion [discussions?] and concrete PLANS on what and how we are going to change the world for ourselves and other Autistics? Why can't we come together on that? Because if we do, we CAN change things.

But our kids, including the one who come here,are still killing themselves in astronomical numbers, despite WP existing. Our young people,incredibly talented young people, are mostly unable to work, despite the existence of WP. We are still considered tragedies,depite WP [hell, some of us consider ourselves tragedies, or at least extreme failures]. Don't get me wrong. I thank God for WP every day. WP though,has made it possible for us to go far beyond internet discussions. And I do not feel that many of us are grabbing onto that wonderful opportunity.

I am not trying to attack anyone. I am frustrated that there are so many, way beyond incredible people here, who are sad, and lonely, and afraid, and consider themselves losers, and have so may things they could and would love to share with the world, but seem to be unable to see that there are many options out there. I am so frustrated that so many cannot see that the brass ring is reachable if we grab onto the growing options. And I am so sad and afraid that some people here [just by the way they speak of themselves] do not seem to believe that they are worthy of being able to dream their dreams, let alone actualize them into reallity. And I am dissapointed, brought to tears, that it appears there are so few who will step out, if not for themselves, but to prevent their Autistic brothers sisters and future generations from suffering as they have.

I am not talking of pulling ourselves up by our own bootsraps, nor am I saying we need to try harder [how many of us could have tried any harder? Very few, I'm sure] I am talking about working together cooperatively in such a way that not only will lives be changed for so much the better for Autistics, but, that one day, many NTs' will be looking at what we have accomplished, be in awe at our integrity, kindness, and fairness, and want to model it for all human beings. [ well, maybe]

Why do threads like this die, and threads about the last thing we ate, seem to go on into perpetuity. And the threads about sexism. They started a WP war with all the passion poured into them. Sexism IS an issue, no doubt, but why can't that passion be poured into a discussion [discussions?] and concrete PLANS on what and how we are going to change the world for ourselves and other Autistics? Why can't we come together on that? Because if we do, we CAN change things.

I am someone who is interested in working together. I would love to one day live in a housing development for people on the spectrum, and I think it is something that could happen and would work. The biggest problems for me are where I live and my own immaturity (for lack of another way to describe it).

I live too far away to go to your retreat or any other autistic retreats that I know of. My parents are unwilling to take me to any because of the distance, and I can't drive. As far as my immaturity goes, I am still like a kid and I am nowhere near ready to move away from home yet. When/if I do, I want to live within walking distance of my parents. I don't think I could stand to be away from my mom because she has always been the closest person to me in the world. I would not be willing to move states away from her to help, and my parents don't want to move out west. Maybe I'll be ready to move away in ten or twenty years.

If there was something in my state I was interested in, I would definitely participate. I am not in a position to start something myself.

I imagine there might be quite a few people here like me, who would be willing to work together, but can't because of their circumstances at the moment.

I would love to learn to work together too. My husband is really into that as well but I seem to be the one who has trouble with it. He is really good at it but I always mess it up because of my issues. He is always challenging me on it and no matter what I always mess it up.

Threads like this don't stay active here on this site because this site at it's heart is a no-cost of entry online message board, with no corresponding offline component. There is no positive feedback for working together on a thread.

To compare to other activities, if you enjoy comics, you can go to a convention or a movie. If you like camping, you join a camping group to get access to camp sites. If you enjoy rock-climbing, you join a group and get access to climbing. If you enjoy programming, you show your skills to possibly get employed.

What will give positive feedback are local events like AutHaven (founded in 2014 by the OP), offline gathering locations like Ocate Cliffs (being built as we type), locations and communities that both show that working together is effective, and that there is a tangible incentive to work together.

Maybe those of us who want to work together can start a small forum for that purpose. I would be interested in working together, even though I am not good at it, but I also think that it would be good for autistic people to work together. This would need to be run by someone other than me though, because I am really really really busy with research all the time.

BTBUNNY, check out the forum of the poster directly before you. That is what Agent Palpatine is doing.

Thanks, Vicky, and Agent for making the forum.
I registered just now.

vickygleitz - we are loners - end of story.

In times gone by, it was loners who discovered the world - I wonder if autism was more prevalent in Western populations than in Eastern ones.

Now that we have done our job, then maybe our evolutionary purpose has been served. The fact that we struggle to find mates is maybe a good thing - maybe autism will be bred out of our species.

BTBunny; I recall your level of perseverence in the fall when you tried to put something constructive together on WP to help other Autistics,. The forum AP started is , at this point, quite small, and I think someone like you is "eggzactly" a perfect fit.