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Where do you get your love from?
Parent 10%  10%  [ 7 ]
Sibling 4%  4%  [ 3 ]
Boyfriend/Girlfriend 3%  3%  [ 2 ]
Friend (RL) 4%  4%  [ 3 ]
Friend (online) 4%  4%  [ 3 ]
Pet 21%  21%  [ 14 ]
Casual relationships 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Husband/Wife 9%  9%  [ 6 ]
There is no love in my life 43%  43%  [ 29 ]
Total votes : 67

JacobV
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18 Jun 2014, 1:15 pm

it's mostly about the poll... Our version of love is not as traditional and typical as NT's... we may not be married or have the typical relationships.. we find love in unconventional places and sometimes they work, sometimes they don't... where do you get your love from?



B19
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18 Jun 2014, 6:19 pm

These poll results so far are tragic.

There was no option for getting love from your children - I get a lot of love from my adult son. And it was not possible to select multiple options, which may explain why the results so far are so dismal.

I get love from my children, cat, boyfriend, brother, and friends at my social anxiety group.

I am defining love in a broad sense, not the narrow romantic version. Love as being cared about, consideration, affection, being valued,
respected, accepted, appreciated, all these things and others make up the connection of love between people.

There was much less love in my youth (some years none at all) and young adulthood than there is now in my later years. I feel quite blessed with the love in my life now.



Ettina
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18 Jun 2014, 6:26 pm

What do I pick if multiple options apply? I get love from parents, one sibling and two pets.



MaKin
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18 Jun 2014, 6:28 pm

There is no option for getting love from one's self!



JacobV
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18 Jun 2014, 8:42 pm

B19 wrote:
These poll results so far are tragic.

There was no option for getting love from your children - I get a lot of love from my adult son. And it was not possible to select multiple options, which may explain why the results so far are so dismal.

I get love from my children, cat, boyfriend, brother, and friends at my social anxiety group.

I am defining love in a broad sense, not the narrow romantic version. Love as being cared about, consideration, affection, being valued,
respected, accepted, appreciated, all these things and others make up the connection of love between people.

There was much less love in my youth (some years none at all) and young adulthood than there is now in my later years. I feel quite blessed with the love in my life now.


I forgot about children.. too late to add an option :\

Looks like sibling is in the lead so far... not surprised



ElsaFlowers
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19 Jun 2014, 1:29 am

I've always felt a strong need to be loved, however it's never enough :( I feel that a lot of people I've loved and even my mum and my children have betrayed me. I don't see my children anymore and my mum is unsupportive of my problems. I ticked boyfriend in the poll. I live with my partner of 6 years but right now I'm feeling that even he doesn't truly love me. I can't seem to make him understand that I need a certain amount of time away from people but he keeps planning stuff that's stressful for me. I believe if you love someone you do everything you can to make them happy. I've never had anyone do this for me though, except my partner now. To be fair he has done this but he isn't doing it right now. If I'd known earlier about my ASD I'd have stayed alone and never had kids because other people have caused me more pain than I can deal with.



Shadi2
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19 Jun 2014, 1:38 am

ElsaFlowers wrote:
If I'd known earlier about my ASD I'd have stayed alone and never had kids because other people have caused me more pain than I can deal with.


I feel the same way.

Also I'm sorry about your children and mom, hopefully things will get better at some point.


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CJH123
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19 Jun 2014, 5:11 am

Sadly I have no love in my life, I would however love some and without it I find it hard to get by. Sometimes I wonder what I live for without love but I guess its the hope of finding some one day even though i doubt.



ElsaFlowers
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19 Jun 2014, 9:43 am

Shadi2 wrote:
ElsaFlowers wrote:
If I'd known earlier about my ASD I'd have stayed alone and never had kids because other people have caused me more pain than I can deal with.


I feel the same way.

Also I'm sorry about your children and mom, hopefully things will get better at some point.

Thank you. Do you have someone in your life also when you say you feel the same? I feel guilty sometimes for feeling like this because sometimes my partner is the most perfect man in the world but other times when I feel he's being inconsiderate I wish I could just live alone and never have human contact.

When I love someone I love intensely. I've scared off quite a few men by being like this and at the time I couldn't understand why they couldn't love me back the same way. Sometimes when I realised they didn't I'd end the relationship because I'd prefer nothing than the kind of diluted love a lot of men have to offer, where a woman would have to spend many months being way down near the bottom of the list of his priorities while waiting for love to grow. I'm not interested in that type of relationship. I believe that if two people are right for each other there will be attraction from the very first meeting and passion from the first date. If it's not like that then for me it's not right.

I'm a very "all or nothing" person and I have read that this can be an Aspie trait. Is anyone else here like this?



JacobV
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19 Jun 2014, 10:17 am

ElsaFlowers wrote:
Shadi2 wrote:
ElsaFlowers wrote:
If I'd known earlier about my ASD I'd have stayed alone and never had kids because other people have caused me more pain than I can deal with.


I feel the same way.

Also I'm sorry about your children and mom, hopefully things will get better at some point.

Thank you. Do you have someone in your life also when you say you feel the same? I feel guilty sometimes for feeling like this because sometimes my partner is the most perfect man in the world but other times when I feel he's being inconsiderate I wish I could just live alone and never have human contact.

When I love someone I love intensely. I've scared off quite a few men by being like this and at the time I couldn't understand why they couldn't love me back the same way. Sometimes when I realised they didn't I'd end the relationship because I'd prefer nothing than the kind of diluted love a lot of men have to offer, where a woman would have to spend many months being way down near the bottom of the list of his priorities while waiting for love to grow. I'm not interested in that type of relationship. I believe that if two people are right for each other there will be attraction from the very first meeting and passion from the first date. If it's not like that then for me it's not right.

I'm a very "all or nothing" person and I have read that this can be an Aspie trait. Is anyone else here like this?


Page out of my book. I am very much an "all or nothing" person and it has cost me quite a few relationships. I think this issue covers friendships and acquaintances too.. I'm not too sure how to handle those properly... but when it comes to women it is even harder.. it seems like for most people life is about a wholesome package of interests, career, friendships, relationships, etc... I wikipedia'd the term "Love" ... it turns out that throughout history and different cultures there have been different words for love.. all with slightly different meanings.. in ancient greece and rome there was one word to describe love for family... and another word to describe passionate love for a life-partner.. and yet another term for lustful/sensual love.. the kind i guess people felt for their mistresses or whatever they had back then... somehow over time people stopped differring those things and used only one word for love to encompass all these different types of love... If anything it confuses things.



devark
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19 Jun 2014, 10:36 am

Nature.


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slave
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19 Jun 2014, 11:19 am

JacobV wrote:
it's mostly about the poll... Our version of love is not as traditional and typical as NT's... we may not be married or have the typical relationships.. we find love in unconventional places and sometimes they work, sometimes they don't... where do you get your love from?


Love is a malevolent myth devised by those who are IN to taunt those of us who are OUT.



CockneyRebel
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19 Jun 2014, 11:24 am

It may seem hippie like for me to say this, but I get love from my friends in real life and the people here. I think the hippies of the 60s might have been aspies who didn't get love from their families or parents, so they relied on one another for the love that was missing in their lives.


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CyclopsSummers
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19 Jun 2014, 12:30 pm

I get most of it from my mother; I sometimes wish I had more people in my life to love. I have no friends etc., it can be a very lonely place sometimes when you feel as though you're going up against the world all alone- there are plenty of scowling and growling people you meet in this world, but it seems that folks who approach you in a friendly way are a lot more rare.


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1024
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19 Jun 2014, 12:55 pm

Not autistic here, though pretty asocial. Just to have a different opinion. :)
I would like someone with whom we enjoy each other's company (well, I have one, but we are far from each other currently), but I don't have a desire to love someone or to be loved. I particularly don't need a person to try to make me happy.


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droppy
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19 Jun 2014, 3:07 pm

From parents and friends. I have never had a boyfriend.