Asociality.

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I do not want to socialise. I'm happy on my own for days and days.

When my support worker visits me, or when I have an appointment, I end up with a migraine afterwards due to the extreme effort required to converse.

After going to uni, I come home with a SEVERE migraine and I need to sleep for at least an hour.

I have some internet friends who I reluctantly text (in response to their texts), and unfortunately one of them wants to meet up with me (I definitely don't). I don't know how to get the message to her that I have no interest in meeting up, without being rude.

Questions: is anyone else here strongly averse to socialising? Am I like this because of my schizophrenia or is this an autistic trait? Is it common in Asperger's? Because a lot of websites say "people with Asperger's want to be social" I do NOT want to be social. I want to live on an island alone, where one would need a helicopter to access it.

I have only been diagnosed with Aspergers and I LOATHE socializing. Sometimes I wonder why I even have a cell phone. I might talk on it briefly once or twice a month if I have to. Generally I let it go to VM and depending upon who it is and the mood I am in will dictate whether I will call back right then or not. I will text more readily but just short sessions. I don't care for it either but it is better then voice.

I know, I know I can hear it now. But you are a ham and hams talk on the radio. Well the only time I talk on the radio is for skywarn purposes. Otherwise what communication I do use is commonly called morse code. And typically they are short exchanges. I am more into the technical aspect of the hobby then actual communications.

I like being by myself. It's more peaceful.
People are such a commotion.

In a word, SOLITUDE!

Let's face it, seeing people is just too stressful. This is what I love about this site. People coming out and saying they don't want to see anyone. Where else on the internet can we see the level of honesty we see on Wrong Planet? (I'm sure there are other good sites, but for people really saying how they feel, this is the best one I've found). I was thinking about writing something like this some time this week, but someone did it for me as usual, thanks!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_kGKhrOD2w

I need my quiet time and solitude, no question there.

I do like to socialize from time-to-time in small groups with close friends. I think it's a quality over quantity thing.

Really don't like parties. Usually detest work "social functions".

The only person I like socializing with offline is my mom. I don't mind certain interactions with purposes (doctor's appointments, asking store employees where something is, volunteering, etc.) as long as they aren't too long, and occasionally I'll even talk to the person longer than absolutely necessary, but I have no desire to go out and make friends or anything. In fact, one of the things I'm dreading the most about going back to college is that people might want to talk to me. I really hate that someone might get offended or hurt if I don't want to be friends with them, but I don't want to be friends with ANYONE offline.

It could be both. A lot of people with schizophrenia don't like to socialize.

I need my own helicopter island too, with good internetz connection.

That is exactly the way it is for me too.

The only person I enjoy being around IRL is my mother (and my grandparents, especially my grandfather, when they were alive).

I've had acquaintances in the past who didn't get in touch with me all that often, but it was still far more often than I liked. I didn't wanna waste my precious spare time on them, I wanted to do my interests. Alone.
I only wanted to deal with acquaintances in the place where I had to be around them anyway (school). Since I was forced to be there anyway, I was okay with talking to them there, but it never ever developed into wanting to hang with them outside of school; that only happened because they were nagging.
11 years ago I met up with two former classmates, and I'm still "full".

It's not that I'm miserable with them, it's just that I never want to be with them, I always prefer to be on my own and do my interests. I am unemployed so technically I have quite a bit of spare time, but I still don't want to waste my time on people beyond my family IRL.

I do not want friends IRL. I do absolutely not want anyone to call, or even worse just pop by (well, I'd play not at home if they did). Online works great for me. Offline is off-limits.


Just because some sites say aspies want to socialize but can't doesn't make it true for everyone. The DSM 4 criteria said (only quoting the relevant parts):



and Gilllberg's criteria says:



All of which gives the possibility of both lack of skill and lack of desire. I've always lacked the desire, making skill moot. I do lack the skill, but what do I care about that when I don't want to interact with people?

Thanks all for clarifying.

I have a day alone today. It will be spent with my camera and a certain Common near where I live. I live taking photos of nature alone.

I can sincerely enjoy the company of certain people, and with them interaction doesn't require any effort! But those are very few and most people drain my energy and make me long to be alone again. So I'm a situational asocial I suppose. I'm happy by myself drawing/painting, listening to music, watching a movie etc etc. I can stand being with myself and don't necessarily need outside distraction nor do I feel lonely. However, it has happened in the past that I felt somewhat lonely and even sad because I had a great day with someone again. It made it all so obvious how, forgive me, 'boring' and 'shallow' people either are or seem to me. Sure they can be great people, but just not for me What makes me feel sad and/or lonely in all that is that I'll have to be with these people for the rest of my life and will have to interact with them on a professional and pseudo-social basis (lunch breaks and stuff like that) and that it's all so pointless! I get no social 'gratification' from that in any way nor does it make me feel 'social' or 'connected' with these people. Not sure I want that, anyway. People whose company I enjoy make the difference painfully obvious.

It's even causing me pretty huge doubts and motivational issues. It's summer vacation right now and I'm pretty much isolated except for the internet and some occasional interaction with a friend (at least once a week most of the time), a 3-day festival with a friend whom I speak to almost every day online and my parents. (I talk to others as well) As it is, I'm actually very happy to not see my fellow students. Their way of being isn't like my way of being and when I see them and talk to them I feel a certain disturbance of myself or my vibe if you will, if that means anything to whoever reads this The motivational issue is that I'm in college but the interaction with ''most people'' is so tiring, draining and pointless (to me) that I'm happy to be alone again when I leave. However, if I ever get a job in my field I'll be among these ''most people'' all day every day which is possible, but far from a succes story. I'm really not looking forward to that.

Being one with nature and capturing its beauty is wonderful. It is one of my obsessions to be honest. Wish I could get out like I used to and do just that! Enjoy the day!!

It was great. I put the photos on my computer afterwards and did some "art" with them using open source software.

Taking photos of nature is therapeutic and so is experimenting with them on my computer afterwards.

I used to use Gimp for a long time. The last couple of years I use AfterShot Pro and on my third version of PaintShop Pro. Guess I am getting spoiled.

You should post your work somewhere on the web so others like myself can enjoy it!