Exercise Makes Me Depressed
Most kinds of exercise result in depression for me. When I say depression, you should read "suicidal urges." As soon as I get back in from exercising, I start feeling the urge to do something like shove a knife in my jugular.
Is this just me?
_________________
"I am to misbehave" - Mal
BATMAN: I'll do everything I can to rehabilitate you.
CATWOMAN: Marry me.
BATMAN: Everything except that.
http://lastcrazyhorn.wordpress.com - "Odd One Out: Reality with a refreshing slice of aspie"
I don't get suicidal, but how I feel depends on how I exercise. Done properly, aerobic exercise should leave you less stressed, refreshed, more coordinated. That means warming up, not going beyond your comfort zone, cooling down, breathing comfortably through your nose the whole time. When I go at it right, I do end up feeling good. When I push myself too hard, though, I can end up feeling more stressed.
Maybe you're working yourself too hard, or doing a form of exercise that doesn't really suit you? Surely there ought to be something that actually makes you feel more empowered, not less? Sometimes going for a long walk/hike is the only thing that keeps me sane.
Similar results as Anemone. Do it too hard and it's no good.
I made another maybe relatd observation: When my food level is too low I get depressed. To eat something often helps. It seems to me, as if "depression" may under some circumstances be a form of your body to switch in a "low energy mode".
Maybe some vitamin & mineral products can help somehow too...
_________________
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before (E.A.Poe)
Well, walking, running and biking all leave me feeling this way. I don't do much swimming (I'm so pale I blend in with the walls). And I'm not coordinated enough to do any sports. I feel suicidal while I do sports. And my doc is always on me to get heart healthy yada yada. *sigh*
_________________
"I am to misbehave" - Mal
BATMAN: I'll do everything I can to rehabilitate you.
CATWOMAN: Marry me.
BATMAN: Everything except that.
http://lastcrazyhorn.wordpress.com - "Odd One Out: Reality with a refreshing slice of aspie"
I made another maybe relatd observation: When my food level is too low I get depressed. To eat something often helps. It seems to me, as if "depression" may under some circumstances be a form of your body to switch in a "low energy mode".
Maybe some vitamin & mineral products can help somehow too...
I have a weird relationship with food. I'm one of those aspies who just doesn't get hungry all of that often. And if I try to eat when I'm not hungry, I gag.
But maybe I'll try some vitamins/minerals.
_________________
"I am to misbehave" - Mal
BATMAN: I'll do everything I can to rehabilitate you.
CATWOMAN: Marry me.
BATMAN: Everything except that.
http://lastcrazyhorn.wordpress.com - "Odd One Out: Reality with a refreshing slice of aspie"
But maybe I'll try some vitamins/minerals.
Yes, same with me (without the gag part). That's how I found out. I can go days without food or very few of it. But some years of self observation showed, that lack of energy influences my temper at least to some degree. I'm definitely more apt to fall for bad moods and depressions, whithout proper food.
If you try vitamin/mineral products, get them from a sport shop, where they sell them for body builders. They're more expensive than the supermarket stuff though.
And if you're a bad eater, you may lack those substances anyway, doing sports or not. Even if fruit and vegetables are a good part of your dietary you'll most likely not get enough.
_________________
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before (E.A.Poe)
I try and eat at least twice a day. I just don't limit myself to mealtimes.
_________________
"I am to misbehave" - Mal
BATMAN: I'll do everything I can to rehabilitate you.
CATWOMAN: Marry me.
BATMAN: Everything except that.
http://lastcrazyhorn.wordpress.com - "Odd One Out: Reality with a refreshing slice of aspie"
I made another maybe relatd observation: When my food level is too low I get depressed. To eat something often helps. It seems to me, as if "depression" may under some circumstances be a form of your body to switch in a "low energy mode".
Maybe some vitamin & mineral products can help somehow too...
Agreed. This sounds like a blood sugar problem. I exercise like a fiend every day and it keeps me sane, but let me go too long without proper food and I start to spontaneously melt down. If your doctor's on you to keep fit, you should describe this phenomenon to him/her.
Depends on the exercise.
Walking makes me feel good. Swimming is fun. Horseback riding is awesome.
But crunches, sit-ups, exercise bikes, all that stuff? I have to force myself to do that. Meaning that I feel terrible about my body after.
Not suicidal, but still.
_________________
"...The heart's desire is found... in an unexpected place..."
Tailchaser's Song" by Tad Williams
Dark or light tend to have no effect on the issue either way.
_________________
"I am to misbehave" - Mal
BATMAN: I'll do everything I can to rehabilitate you.
CATWOMAN: Marry me.
BATMAN: Everything except that.
http://lastcrazyhorn.wordpress.com - "Odd One Out: Reality with a refreshing slice of aspie"
Maybe those three forms of exercise just aren't the right kind for you. I used to run because I knew I needed the exercise until one day I realized I just hated it, and therefore would never do it again. I then discovered yoga, and it was the perfect exercise for me. Good for destressing, too.
Not directly depressed through exercise. But I've never felt this endorphin rush that people are supposed to get after exercise. In fact, I generally feel physically sick after exercise and can take a couple of hours of total rest to recover.
I don't understand these people I see jogging along, faces distorted in agony, looking about to collapse. Apparently they go through a 'pain barrier' and afterwards feel much better. My body doesn't work like that, I just get sick!
Something else that may be to do with AS, only I've never heard anyone else mention it, is that my body can't make muscle. I once spent two years doing physical, out of doors work. I lost some weight, but just could not make any muscle.
I've tried gym sessions, martial arts, sports, all of which I'm useless at then I end up depressed due to the humiliation of being worst in class and just not getting any fitter. I will never go to a gym again for this reason. I found I was having to set every machine to the lowest setting to even begin to move the thing. The strong young men and ladies hanging around eventually start to give me funny looks and appear embarrassed by my pitiful efforts.
Now that did make me feel depressed! Maybe this is similar to what you're describing, it's not the chemical process making you depressed, but the whole miserable social thing of sports and fitness?
_________________
Circular logic is correct because it is.
Last edited by ManErg on 03 Jun 2008, 4:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
Flismflop
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Joined: 16 Feb 2007
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,025
Location: DC metro area suburbs, USA.
That's definitely not me. I get excited about my fitness routine, and after I'm done, look forward to the next session of it. The only regular depressing part is the tedium that I go through before the routine (parking my car, puting on the hydration pack and headphones, stretching etc). If the pavement is wet and I can't go around it, or if there's a lot of gravel thrown onto it, I can get annoyed. Humidity sucks, and mid-day sun forces me to wear a hat. If the weather is good, then from the time I start rolling it isn't long before I get into a groove, and I could probably go for many hours if I didn't limit myself to just a 60 minute session.
Examine the exercise routine, notice the non-fitness parts that you don't like and then make the appropriate alterations. Or since you probably don't have a routine, figure out an activity that you enjoy doing, then start doing it on a regular basis. If the problem is related to being around people, then find something with few/no people around.
Eat something light beforehand such as a rice-cake or some other small serving of complex carbs. Alternatively, you can buy carb gels that are perfect for keeping you from feeling hungry during the workout. The Carb-boom brand comes in very natural-tasting varieties, such as the apple, which is easy to mistake for apple pie filling. Eat a piece of fruit afterwards, and then a sensible meal when you start to feel hungry.
_________________
Why be a label, be yourself and keep others guessing instead. - Dee_.
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