Describing yourself to new people
"So?"/"And?" - said in a confident way.
It sends a communicate "I know it is weird for you but I am OK with it and if you have a problem accepting it tell me why exactly it bothers you so much". Usually people just shut up.
Other stuffs that help:
"I like/dislike this sound/smell/texture etc." - when stimming or avoiding a trigger.
"I am not good with socializing/reading body language/doing 2 stuffs at once..." - when someone realizes you struggle with it.
"I just can't focus when I am busy and you talk to me. It makes me angry." - when someone bothers you when you are focused on your special interest or whatever.
"I'm tired" - when you are about to get a meltdown/shutdown and want to be left alone/explain your sudden selective mutism.
Honestly, people do not seem to comment on my weirdness... If I were to be described by others it would be "pragmatic, smart and hard-worker." Honestly, I just leave others to make their own conclusions about me and generally don't try to change their mind.
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--Nyx-- What an astonishing thing a book is. Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you... Carl Sagan
Campin_Cat
Veteran
Joined: 6 May 2014
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 25,953
Location: Baltimore, Maryland, U.S.A.
I'm TOTALLY stealing that for my signature, on here, cuz I change it everyday (I have it so it only appears, when I attach it)! !
In regard to the original post.....
Nowadays, I don't usually explain myself. I have a quote, that I THINK is attributed to a John Wayne movie: "Never apologize and never explain----it's a sign of weakness." I like to try to live by that----except for the apology part, cuz I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Recently I took an Occupational Rehabilitation program, and I just told them I had Autism (people can, sorta, understand Autism better than Asperger's cuz there's always stuff of TV about Autism). They would inevitably say: "You don't seem like you have Autism"----then, if I thought they were worth my time, I'd hand them a copy of a printout from a magazine (I keep several copies) of a Temple Grandin article where she is talking about how she doesn't like touch, loud noises, etc., but is a PhD. I also might cite the recent Miss America candidate that claimed she was diagnosed with Autism, and tell them about Dan Akroyd (?), and several authors who have it.....
I've RARELY said the actual word "Autism" / "Aperger's" outside of a "clinical" atmosphere, though. Sometimes, instead of outright putting me down, people sorta snort / laugh / whatever, and I might say: "Just because we share a difference of opinion, doesn't make either of us WRONG----it just makes us different." That's only if they're snotty, though, and I have enough energy to try and put them in their place.
Years ago, I would've said, something like: "I'm just weird, that way", or "I'm a total nerd".
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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
I don't like casually dropping the A word in conversation because it me it feels like I'm making excuses.
I don't want people to think I'm trying to use Aspergers as a licence to screw up.
Exactly. That is how I have felt when I've tried telling people - like they just thought I was
giving myself a free pass.
Maybe "I just can't" followed by "Because it's just impossible" like a stuck record.
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"Aspie: 65/200
NT: 155/200
You are very likely neurotypical"
Changed score with attention to health. Still have AS traits and also some difficulties.
I don't like casually dropping the A word in conversation because it me it feels like I'm making excuses.
I don't want people to think I'm trying to use Aspergers as a licence to screw up.
1. I like that one and have used it once or twice.
2. Exactly. That is how I have felt when I've tried telling people - like they just thought I was
giving myself a free pass.
Maybe "I just can't" followed by "Because it's just impossible" like a stuck record.
_________________
"Aspie: 65/200
NT: 155/200
You are very likely neurotypical"
Changed score with attention to health. Still have AS traits and also some difficulties.
I like that! There's a t-shirt printing place near me and I'm so tempted to get a top printed with that on it!
Do it! I don't wear T-shirts myself but I thought maybe I could have it on a handbag or a badge.
_________________
"Aspie: 65/200
NT: 155/200
You are very likely neurotypical"
Changed score with attention to health. Still have AS traits and also some difficulties.
I don't usually say much at all. The time where I most feel pressure is when people ask me to go out socialising.
I just tell them I don't like drinking, I'm anti social and my idea of a good night out is to go garden hopping and knock-a-door running. They don't ask me anymore.
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We have existence
SilverProteus
Veteran
Joined: 20 Jul 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,915
Location: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
"I'm really shy/I'm an introvert."
"I don't really know how to handle social situations."
"Sometimes I hear you but don't understand what you're saying. In order to avoid looking like a ret*d I guess what you had said to me. Sometimes I get it wrong and that's where all the apparent randomness comes from."
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"Lightning is but a flicker of light, punctuated on all sides by darkness." - Loki
You have to do the back gardens though. Front gardens are cheating.
I see. I think we call them "lawns" rather than "gardens." Curiously, I had the same misunderstanding with my ex, who was a native French speaker. But maybe it's a UK thing, as that is the dialect of English she'd learned. Do you speak UK English?
It depends on the situation. I usually just joke about being a nerd. I know no one will take that seriously and that's my intention. I don't want people to take my quirks seriously. I just want to be seen as normal.
If they need to know more I'll tell them that I'm sensitive, have anxiety, get tired easily and have a short attention span. I never really mention my autism diagnosis anymore. It's just not a useful label for me. I only mention it in emergency situations where my other issues won't get taken seriously.
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
You have to do the back gardens though. Front gardens are cheating.
I see. I think we call them "lawns" rather than "gardens." Curiously, I had the same misunderstanding with my ex, who was a native French speaker. But maybe it's a UK thing, as that is the dialect of English she'd learned. Do you speak UK English?
I am English.
_________________
We have existence
Don't use the words weird or quirky....
If asked to describe myself these days I would say (referring to times when I am physically well and not bogged down by CFS type symptoms and sleep problems):
Energetic, curious soul who loves to learn about anything and everything that fascinates me. Passionate, loving, affectionate, adventurous and prone to exploration. Prefers a creative approach to problem solving and life itself as opposed to the mundane (which does not interest me). Loves to dance, sing, write, take walks in the countryside or along the coast, watch movies, read books, ride rollercoasters, ride horses, ride trains, play piano, arts and crafts and all things paranormal.
When not feeling well and bothered by a need for daytime naps...Tired, irritable, fed up and bored lol
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