How to explain part-verbal.

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I am part-verbal (as in not non-verbal all the time but I much prefer not to speak at all as I find the gathering of words into sentences orally exhausting). However when I tried to explain this to my care coordinator, she said "but you talk to me". I can put on an "act" sometimes when it comes to formal things, like appointments or interviews, where I put 200 times the amount of energy an easily-verbal person would need, into talking. So when I see my care coordinator or my support worker, or I have a meeting at the university, I can "act" and use my energy reserves to communicate with them. But when I go home I collapse on my bed and I have to sleep it off for hours. Hence why I don't talk to anyone at uni; the act of talking takes extreme amounts out of me.

How can I get people to understand that, while I am not often totally non-verbal, I am part-verbal. They just don't seem to get it and force me to talk (for example my family).

I talk too much at times but I still have to do mental gymnastics to try and get people to understand me.
What you describe in your post I understand 100%.

As for explaining to your support worker your facing an uphill battle NT brains do no work the same way.

What about showing this thread.

Your post in clear to me and if the people you describe can not understand it the malfunction is at their end not yours.

Hmm.. I just don't explain it? People notice and have different reactions.

I have difficulty with speech. I sputter stuff out. I sign. I draw pictures and graphs. I type things out and then read them. I use an AAC app on my iPad. I rely on shared life experiences.

My greatest verbal strength is the memorization of important scripts. Using the app, "verbally", I have visually organized many of the scripts which has increased my ability to recall them.

I have recently begun taking an atypical antipsychotic which has been an amazing help to my language skills. Do you notice any differences with medications that you take?


What is it you need and aren't getting? It sounds to me like more time off from communicating. I'd suggest simply asking for that rather than trying to convince someone of your situation. When I was a growing up, I had a saying that meant just that, "my words are all used up". It signaled to others that thinking and conversing in language was too difficult and I needed a rest.

I'm totally verbal--but sometimes, I need to take breaks. I get tired if I'm forced to speak a full paragraph.

I guess I could tell people I'm an introvert (which is definitely true) and that I don't like speaking.

I've been made to feel that when I use AAC, it is embarrassing. My dad banned me from using AAC with him. And when I've used it in public I've been ridiculed.

I limit speaking to the absolute minimum but it's hard when I'm not feeling well and I can't explain my symptoms.

I'm on Olanzapine (for mental illness) and Gabapentin (got migraines) but they don't make it any easier.

I'm getting to the point where I want to be in my own world, not others'. I don't get jokes, I can't read people at all, social skills are nonexistent.

I would enjoy reading what you write on your AAC. Of course, I would enjoy hearing your voice as well--but if you prefer AAC, so be it.

I could certainly discern the eloquence

i'm still kind of new here and not familiar with all the acronyms. what's AAC?

Apparently, you haven't made it clear to your care coordinator (CC), that too much verbal communicating makes physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. This may be caused by how you tried to explain it, but more likely by the CC's inability to comprehend that someone who is capable of talking may not be able to do it all the time.

I don't know what type of AA method you are using, but keep using AA. I do suggest though, that you not use it with relatives, like your father, who are annoyed by it. Perhaps you could spend less time with him, so you won't feel so pressured to communicate. If you go that route, I suggest you compensate for the shorter time spent with him, by also leaving him written notes sometimes.

Yes, you do sound like an introvert. I am one myself. Although I have never thought of myself as non verbal, yes, I could be called partially verbal, as I too don't like to talk most of the time. I find contact with other people very stressful, and prefer to limit the time I spend with people. I live alone, and due to health problems, am no longer able to work, so I am able to limit contact. Because of this, I am better able to handle contact when it is necessary, because I know I will be able to be alone for days, after the contact is over.

I don't know what type of device you have been using, but maybe you should look into others that may be more acceptable to normal people. If you prefer the method you are using now, though, stick with it.

I use a text to speech app I downloaded for free on my mobile phone. I don't like it really, and the voice has a totally wrong accent.

I think I just limit contact like you do. I already spend days alone at a time and that's how I like it.

As for my care coordinator, it's a hard one. The appointments are once a fortnight for half an hour. They're there to discuss problems and solve them. I'm not sure if she would accept written "letters" as opposed to me announcing them orally. I can try next time I see her.

I sometimes get thought crowding and often get paranoia. I have a lot to "say" then, but my words come out jumbled and I cannot explain myself properly, as always.

I think I will not use the app but I will write things down as much as possible.

Thankfully I live alone and my parents live elsewhere (separated). My dad lives abroad so he only comes once every 5-6 weeks for a few days. I was so moody and irritable last time that I feel guilty but I had social overload and the speech issue exhausted me.

It may have been too long ago to be possible, but if you could contact the doctor who gave you your diagnosis, perhaps he/she could explain your verbal difficulties, which would have been evident during testing, to your care coordinator. I have a very good verbal capacity and a verbal comprehension index in the gifted range, and yet some mornings I still find it impossible to open my mouth and make words because the sensory experience of hearing and feeling the act of speech is too overwhelming. If your old doctor is not available, perhaps see if you can make an appointment with a speech/language therapist to get your speech ability evaluated: that would show the relevant people exactly what they needed to know about the way you process and use language.

Unfortunately I do not know the contact details of my assessor as it was a while ago.

Speech and language therapist = good idea. Although with the NHS it would be months to get referred and my GP is not very autism aware so not sure if she would refer me.

I'll try writing a letter to my care coordinator about the verbal difficulties. I'm eloquent on paper.

Sometimes people suck. It's the communication that matters, not the modality.

Personally, I would like to tell people that ("It's the communication that matters, not the modality"), and ask them why they have such a problem with written communication -- what's so wrong with it? What exactly makes it not as good as verbalizing? Why is it such a big deal to use writing where most people speak? (The listener's comfort? Well, their comfort is not the only thing that matters, especially if the listener happens to be someone who is paid to provide services/care to meet your needs. Because it's weird? Well, there are far more important things than avoidance of being/looking weird -- actually communicating effectively and being functional afterwards are far more important.)

I might also want to ask them things like this:

"So, if I had trouble with writing and/or reading and you just happened to prefer email for [reason unrelated to them having a disability or suffering in some way], you would force me to write to to you and totally ignore all words I spoke?"

"So if I had mobility challenges and it took me an hour to walk a few blocks to the store and I was so exhausted when I came home that I had to rest for 24 hours before I could even support my own weight again, you would tell me I shouldn't use a wheelchair to get there in a normal amount of time and without using up all my energy for the day, simply because I was technically capable of walking there?"

"So it's more important for me to communicate in a normal way than to communicate effectively? It's better to be misunderstood or not communicate important things, as long as I look normal?"

"So it's more important for me to communicate in a normal way, to look normal, than it is to be able to function for an entire day? You think losing a whole day to exhaustion is better than using a communication modality that some people might think is weird? It's better to have reduced quality of life from exhaustion and stress, than it is to look weird to other people but have good quality of life and not be exhausted and stressed?"

People refusing to accept AAC as valid communication because they don't understand reminds me of a particular time using borrowed words (idiosyncratically used phrases and things). When I'd finally realized other people don't do that and maybe that's why people didn't understand me sometimes, I worked out a way I thought would explain it, and managed to tell someone once, something like "those are borrowed words," thinking that would let them know my meaning might be weird and not what they would expect.... but instead, the person I explained to got mad at me and told me "I don't want to hear other people's words, I want to hear your words"....and I said nothing at all, because I did not have any idea what to say, and could not explain that if I'd had my own f***ing words I wouldn't have been using borrowed ones in the first place -- that those borrowed words were the only words I had. The part that strikes me as similar is that I had tried so hard to communicate in the way that I could and to explain that way as best I could, and it hadn't made any difference at all because they didn't understand ....instead they reacted like I was doing something wrong.

Steel Maiden:

Isn't there a way you could record your OWN voice on the AAC device?