I need help. Please help me.

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I posted a topic under the work and finding job section. I feel like this should be under the General Autism Discussion to. I'm 18. I have ADHD and Aspergers. I had them basically my whole life. I finished my second week of community college. Majoring in Computer Science. College is pretty good so far. Anyway I need a job. I'm 18 and have no job. I'm staying with my mom and my dad. I need a job because you can't be 18, staying with mom and/or dad and not work. Right now I'm trying to see if I could work at the local Y because I'm pretty good working with kids and also I'm looking at well been looking at stock type jobs. I think being a cashier or working at a fast food restaurant would be a disaster for me because the pace is very fast well, to me it is. This is very frustrating because I have Aspergers and I'm not getting any type of help to improve. I'm what you call mild functioning I think. I can't explain it but its certain things like jobs I could do and I can't do. I know I could be flipping burgers but I feel like I would do a better job doing stock or working with kids. This is very frustrating. Life with Aspergers is hard especially if you not doing anything to improve. I'm trying. My step dad constantly tells me "Get a job" or " You need a job." Earlier before he left for work, he told me, "You need to have a job by the middle of next month." I assume if I don't have a job by then he'll kick me out. I need help and I don't think my parents fully understand my diagnosis. My mom understands just not fully, but she understand because I been diagnosis since I was little so she been with me since day one. My step dad on the other hand I don't think he understands at all about my diagnosis. If I do get kick out the house its going to be because of my Aspergers and that I'm not getting any help to improve. I'm trying. I'm not going to give up. I refuse to give up.

Have you considered a part time job working at your community college - say, in one of the libraries or something? A part time job there might be a good fit with your schooling commitments and show your stepdad that you're willing to work to help offset the costs of your college education.

I'd suggest you make an appointment with a counsellor at the college and explain your full situation to them, including your Asperger's. They might really be able to help you out.

Good luck and take care. Let us know how things go.

I didn't find working a fast food job too bad, even as a cashier (though drive-through was the best!)

The reason it wasn't so bad is because I only dealt with one customer at a time. I didn't have to keep track of stuff like I would if I were a waitress somewhere. Occasionally, it got extremely crowded and overwhelming, but this was only during the summer. Most of the time, it was not bad at all. Working in the back was good, too, because I only had to focus on one thing. It's kind of like a factory job, just with food.

The library idea is good. I would have preferred to get a job not food-related, but hadn't thought of the library when I was younger.

I second the idea to talk to a counselor at the college.

Having a job that you can manage well and enjoy at the same time will be very beneficial to you in myriad ways. It may also buy you some time to live at home longer, if your dad really is considering kicking you out. Most likely, having a job and being around other independent people will increase your motivation, and spur you along toward independence.

A school (primary, secondary, post-secondary) library or classroom aide is a decent job. Any position that gives you a sense of what you can expect on a regular basis is best. Beware of waitressing, bartending, receptionist, retail worker, and any job where you are required to multi-task and always be "on" i.e. where you're expected to interact more or less constantly with others with minimal structure/script or predictability. It can be exhausting, and may set you up for some very unsatisfying experiences. I know from my own personal history doing every one of these jobs (long before I had any idea I was on the spectrum & was just trying to be "normal") that they are far from ideal, but better than nothing.

Good luck! There are lots of opportunities out there if you keep in mind what you want, and also what you do NOT want!

What have you done so far to try to get a job?


It's not awesome, but you would survive it, if you got a job that didn't work out.

So, go try.

Do you have a plan for finding employment? Whenever I have been looking for jobs in the past, I have looked in the classified ads in my local paper and online. I have also just directly applied to companies I want to work for, even if there is no job opening. Send out lots of resumes (use a custom cover letter for each)!

Right out of high school (before I had much job experience), I knew what field I wanted to work in eventually. (It has changed, but this idea is still worth telling you about). I typed a letter with a small bit of information about myself and my career goals and educational plans. I then asked to be considered for any present or future jobs that I meet the qualifications for. I mailed this letter to every place in town that was listed in the phone book as being in the genre of work I wanted. I ended up getting a very good job out of this and many other letters back saying they appreciated my attitude and would keep my letter or to inquire again after I completed my education. (In other words, besides the job I got, it ended up being a very good social networking move for me--and one that played to my strengths and minimized or eliminated my weaknesses.) I mailed maybe 60-100 of these letters.


(As an aside, it isn't universally true that one cannot be over 18 and still live at home with mom and dad without a job. Many people suggest students not work. That sentiment is more often targeted at people who are no longer pursuing education. However, your step dad seems to have issues an ultimatum, so I would do my best to abide by it. If you fall short, everyone will see that you have been trying. Hearing excuses before you try rarely goes over well with anybody.)

In addition to the above, I would also, obviously, post my resume in such job sites as "Indeed" and "Glassdoor." I would also submit my resume in the websites of some of the major fast food and retail entities. UPS wouldn't be bad; they have part-time positions. For the most part, people go the online route these days when searching for jobs. However, the "old-fashioned" way could also prove to be useful.

If you have a Costco nearby (especially if it's just opening), I would go that route as well. The minimum salary there is $11/per hour, and people tend to stay there a long time. Costco seems like a good organization to work for.

I get the feeling that your stepfather is being hard on you--and will not "kick you out." I believe he just made the implied threat because he doesn't want you to slack off when you look for a job. I hope he's a rational person, and sees that you have made a diligent effort to find a job, even if you don't obtain a job.

I truly hope, if this is your stepfather's intention, that your mother intercedes on your behalf, for I, frankly, find it ridiculous for a father/stepfather to kick somebody out if he/she is attending college.

Please keep us posted on your progress. And also your progress as to your schooling.

Oh, yeah...I haven't applied for a job since 2001.

kraftiekortie says

If you have a Costco nearby (especially if it's just opening), I would go that route as well. The minimum salary there is $11/per hour, and people tend to stay there a long time. Costco seems like a good organization to work for.

A lot of people say that Costco is a great place to work at. Compare Costco to Walmart and Costco is just better. Costco pay their employees more, treat their employees better and people do tend to stay longer. But unfortunately where I stay at, we have a Walmart and the minimum wage is $7.25/per hour. My step dad always been hard on me. He just don't understand my Aspergers and the stuff I have and had to go through. I remember one day I had to put up the garden hose properly, I had forgot how to put it up right, he showed me then he said , "Son you never listen." I'm like I do listen. He just don't get it. And I don't think I was slacking while I was finding a job. I was just trying to find a job or jobs that I know I could do.

Walmart does suck as a place to work--but if it's the only job available, I'd take it--especially if it's part time.

How about supermarkets? How about UPS? How far are you from a UPS depot? Are you near a city and you know how to type? If so, maybe you could work "temp"--as a data entry person or something like that.

I know what you mean: I had similar problems with my mother's boyfriend, who always told me I was "socially ret*d." He had a hostile streak, too--used to hit me. My mother felt like I needed a "father figure"--some "father figure!"

When I was 18, I worked in a medical library--and I enjoyed it. I hope you get the opportunity to work at a library.

You should also ask your counselor about something called "Federal work-study."

kraftiekortie says:

Yeah that is what I'm going to do. If Walmart the only job I could get, then I'm a work there. I should be able to work at the local Y because that's the job I want to do and I'm pretty good with working with children. I'm a see about that UPS though.