Page 2 of 3 [ 39 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next


How frequently do you have a meltdown or shutdown?
Once a day or more 14%  14%  [ 8 ]
Once a week 23%  23%  [ 13 ]
Once a month 34%  34%  [ 19 ]
Once a year or less 29%  29%  [ 16 ]
Total votes : 56

babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 64,060
Location: UK

05 Sep 2014, 4:49 pm

I used to have them quite a lot up until I was about 30 and then they got less frequent. I'd say I can control a meltdown these days, so it's not destructive.

My meltdowns used to be horrendous.


_________________
We have existence


BirdInFlight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,501
Location: If not here, then where?

05 Sep 2014, 5:49 pm

Waterfalls wrote:
How do people define a meltdown or shutdown? I'm not sure where to draw a line between this and just stressed.


I can only tell you my own definition for what those terms mean to me, if that's helpful. Just stressed is when I'm feeling tense, fed up, but I'm managing to still stay functional, get things done, feeling unhappy but able to function.

Meltdown for me is when too many stress factors have piled up in too short and compressed a time period, and without sufficient time for the "just stressed" periods to fade away, the just stressed is now turning into serious frustrations, anger, which in turn starts to be inability to cope. I then have a freak-out -- I scream, I cry and can't stop crying, I'm pacing around yelling out loud a diatribe about the thing or things that have tipped me past this tipping point. It usually happens in my own apartment while I'm alone, but today it happened in public.

So basically, to me anyway, "just stressed" is me gritting my teeth but still functioning. Meltdown is totally losing it, screaming, sobbing, deep distress, massive unhappiness and frustration, bursting out in a total volcano erupting.

Shutdown for me is what follows that. When I start to come down from the volcanic emotions of frustration and "exploded stress," I begin to "numb out." I get deeply non-functioning.

My executive functioning goes to hell in a handbasket. I go into a zombie-like depression caused by the exhaustion of the meltdown and the emotions of extreme distress that brought about the meltdown. It's almost like I go into a state of shock -- shock not at my own meltdown but at the things that caused the meltdown, if that makes any sense. It's like my second reaction to the events that caused my distress, like the next stage in my reaction to them.

Sometimes I've had a shutdown of sorts without the meltdown preceding it. That usually happens in social setting in which I've become too overloaded. I will go directly into shutdown -- I will begin to respond less and less, withdraw more and more, feel numb and a bit "shocked", not want to speak anymore, and I just want to go away into a quiet place.

This is what these things are like for me, I only speak for myself and what I define as the things I call my meltdowns, shut downs or just stress
.



Skilpadde
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,019

05 Sep 2014, 7:26 pm

Shut downs only, and once a year or less. Looking at my life overall, then definitely less than once a year. 2014 has been a rare one with two shutdowns.


_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy

Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765


gamerdad
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jul 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 288

05 Sep 2014, 7:54 pm

Waterfalls wrote:
How do people define a meltdown or shutdown? I'm not sure where to draw a line between this and just stressed.

Shutdowns are pretty clear for me. Like BirdInFlight, I go completely nonverbal. I can't hold onto any of my thoughts, they just keep chasing each other around in my head. A lot of the time I'll just curl up and not move till it's over.

Meltdowns are a little different. I don't really get them all that often. I can only remember a handful in my adult life that were definitely meltdowns. For me it's generally just one huge outburst that goes immediately into shutdown.

I get smaller events sometimes that are somewhat similar. For instance, I get that slow fading that BirdInFlight described during large social gatherings. I also get a sort of escalating agitation during arguments or debates that is somewhat similar to meltdowns. But in both cases I maintain some level of control and functioning ability, so I don't really think of them as meltdowns or shutdowns.



SameStars
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 May 2014
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,693

06 Sep 2014, 5:03 am

I'll shutdown a few times a year, it depends on how stressful the day has been. I don't really have meltdowns anymore.



EzraS
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,828
Location: Twin Peaks

06 Sep 2014, 9:36 am

It depends on what all is going on. Some are from emotional stuff....some are from sensory overload. Can go a week or so without an episode. Sometimes have a few during the week. My meltdowns are usually the severe classic type.



Waterfalls
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,075

06 Sep 2014, 11:29 am

Do we think neurotypical people have shutdowns much? I kind of took them for granted and never thought about this as something maybe not everyone shuts down several times a day some?



lambdamoses
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2018
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 22

02 Mar 2018, 5:58 am

Earlier I thought the term "meltdown" means being driven crazy due to sensory overload, but posts on WrongPlanet suggest that many people had meltdowns due to emotion and meltdowns differ from tantrums in that the latter is about getting something. So in this sense, I meltdown almost every day in grades 3-4 as I got bullied and alienated a lot; even calling me by a nickname I didn't like or finding my set squares damaged would make me scream so loud that the entire building could hear. Grades 5-6: most weeks in school. Grades 7-10: a few times a year. After grade 11: 1-3 times a year, and nowhere as destructive as when I was in elementary school. My meltdowns were almost all caused by emotions out of control, but now I'm pretty good at regulating emotions.



Esmerelda Weatherwax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2017
Age: 69
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,749

02 Mar 2018, 9:44 am

Very very rarely. But when I do, it's Richter 9. I go off spectacularly, about once every five years. It typically lasts about fifteen seconds, but it's impressive. Loudness, armwaving, and really really bad words coherently arranged. And then it's done.

There is nothing I can do, apparently, to prepare people for this; the fact that I haven't done it in their vicinity seems to be interpreted as proof that I never really do it, despite all my efforts to explain that I can, do, have done, and will do it again in all likelihood.

Then after the dust settles I get looks of shock and "gosh what was that all about"? Which translates as, "hey kiddo, so not only do we get to poke at you til you blow up, we get to ask you to take care of OUR feelings afterwards!"

And dammit, I always do. Lay my ears back, caretake them, then go home and wait for the stress migraine or IBS to hit.

Image

Now, I *vent* a *lot*. But that's more like Yosemite Sam - rassafrassa rackafracka, stomping around and cussing mildly under my breath (e.g., damn damn damn $h!+ damn damn damn) ... which was pretty much a normal day at the office for most of my associates too. Sometimes I'd suggest we try it in multipart harmony...


_________________
"I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people," said the man. "You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides."
-- Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!


IstominFan
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Nov 2016
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,114
Location: Santa Maria, CA.

02 Mar 2018, 9:50 am

I had a big one yesterday. I thought I had lost my cellphone. I was really sweating it and was nervous to the point of having diarrhea thinking about the process I would have to go through to replace it. Luckily, I later found it in my jacket pocket. Wow, did I feel stupid afterward, but I'm glad I found it!



Esmerelda Weatherwax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2017
Age: 69
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,749

02 Mar 2018, 9:53 am

Yikes, that would have been awful. Glad you found it.

With ASD, our guts are not our friends, apparently.


_________________
"I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people," said the man. "You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides."
-- Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!


eeVenye
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 25 Oct 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 118

02 Mar 2018, 12:24 pm

Voted once/yr, but it is anytime I have to do a "real" paper for school (vs reflection paper or similar), so roughly twice a year.


_________________
Ceterum autem censeo, Modernismum delendum esse!


komamanga
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jan 2017
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,343
Location: CzechRep.

02 Mar 2018, 12:45 pm

Sometimes I'll have a couple of meltdowns in a week and sometimes I'll go without them for a couple of months. It mostly depends on the stress levels. I have shutdowns more often than meltdowns.



SaveFerris
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,762
Location: UK

02 Mar 2018, 1:03 pm

IstominFan wrote:
I had a big one yesterday. I thought I had lost my cellphone. I was really sweating it and was nervous to the point of having diarrhea thinking about the process I would have to go through to replace it. Luckily, I later found it in my jacket pocket. Wow, did I feel stupid afterward, but I'm glad I found it!


What other symptoms did you have ?, I get like that quite regularly but never thought it was a meltdown.


_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1

Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard


ElleGaunt
Raven
Raven

Joined: 19 Feb 2018
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 122

02 Mar 2018, 2:23 pm

gamerdad wrote:
Wondering how frequently most people have meltdowns or shutdowns. If you have them relatively frequently, or infrequently, do you think that's impacted more by what your triggers are or by how effective your coping mechanisms are?

For me, I seem to go into shutdown around once/month at this point in my life. It's usually triggered by some sort of intense or emotional discussion or argument, and I usually try to cope by avoiding topics that will lead to intense discussions or argument. I'm at a point though where it's becoming clear that avoidance has its own costs to it, and I'm trying to reevaluate how I cope with those situations and even if the costs of avoidance might sometimes outweigh the risks of going into shutdown.

Edit: I just realized that I phrased the options poorly. If you fall somewhere in between them, just round to the one that feels closest.


I really like what you wrote here. I relate to some and just respect other aspects. Thumbs up gamer dad.



Lost_dragon
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,756
Location: England

02 Mar 2018, 5:26 pm

Depends what you count really. I sometimes experience periods of dissociation, this happens when I'm in a situation where there is too much sensory information going on, so to cope my brain tries to numb things down so that it is manageable.

The noise around me lulls into a stream of what I can only describe as flat white noise, and everything starts to feel surreal and dreamlike. If you try to speak to me when I'm experiencing this, then I am unable to reply as although I can hear noise being directed at me, my brain can't seem to process any of what is being said, instead it's almost as if undecipherable vibrations are bouncing off my ears at that moment in time.

My consciousness almost feels like it's drifting in and out of reality, so in order to centre/ ground myself I focus on a mundane detail such as a wall, and I might reach out to touch this wall. Focusing on one detail allows at least one thing there to feel real, and then slowly but surely the rest of it does.

Then, there are the moments where I lose my sense of calm, which I talked about a bit on this thread: viewtopic.php?t=359459&hilit

Up until not too long ago I was under the impression that I only hand-flap in private, but my friend informed me that this was simply not the case. Apparently he has seen me do this quite a few times, it seems to be subconscious since I don't tend to notice.

In fact, I'm surprised no one said anything sooner really. My friend calls these "Aaaaaa! moments". Don't experience these too often, tend to experience the disassociation kind more.

Generally with both though I remove myself from the situation if possible.


_________________
24. Possibly B.A.P.