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non officially diagnosis people

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skibum
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13 Sep 2014, 9:29 pm

Billiscool, I am not making a stab here at all but I am a bit surprised at your original post. Since you don't suffer from sensory issues I am surprised that you would say what you said in that post. It seems to me that the same way that you said you were annoyed at non diagnosed people allegedly putting others down for their suffering because they might be able to have some relationships or a some might be able to hold a job, don't you think that people who suffer tremendously from sensory overload everyday might feel that same annoyance at someone who does not suffer from it at all indirectly "putting them down" with their posts? Seems to me the logic should apply both ways. And it could also be possible that even though someone may not have an official clinical diagnosis, some unofficially diagnosed people may possible have been more thoroughly and possible even more accurately evaluated than some others who might have had a less thorough or less complete clinical diagnosis. So unless you know each person's individual circumstance, you really don't know how people were able to come to their conclusions about their conditions. It is easy to assume that an unofficially diagnosed person maybe just took one free quiz or maybe read one article and decided that they have an ASD. But I don't think that is the case with most people. People who seriously suffer and seriously self diagnose spend years researching and look at many different angles in order to do so and they do it because they are truly suffering and the options of clinical diagnosis are not available for them. If you had not been diagnosed at three, if you had been born thirty years earlier, perhaps you would not be able to afford to get one now and you would be in the same boat as they are in. So we have to be very careful with snap judgements and assumptions. Maybe we should just try not to be annoyed but just be compassionate and supportive of each other whether diagnosed or not instead. :D


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Last edited by skibum on 13 Sep 2014, 10:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

billiscool
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13 Sep 2014, 10:12 pm

skibum wrote:

I never had a boyfriend until my husband. But I never considered my husband my boyfriend because we never really dated. We just became really close friends until we were so close we had to get married since we both have religious convictions about not having sexual contact before marriage. I only ever heard my husband call me his girlfriend once and it was really weird for me to hear that since I did not really think in those terms
.


Ok,now your cool. Yep,You may have ASD. if not,your one good lady.



skibum
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13 Sep 2014, 10:15 pm

billiscool wrote:
skibum wrote:

I never had a boyfriend until my husband. But I never considered my husband my boyfriend because we never really dated. We just became really close friends until we were so close we had to get married since we both have religious convictions about not having sexual contact before marriage. I only ever heard my husband call me his girlfriend once and it was really weird for me to hear that since I did not really think in those terms
.


Ok,now your cool. Yep,You may have ASD. if not,your one good lady.
Well, thank you very much my friend! :D And thank you for making the effort to ask the questions and get to know me a little better. You are cool too. :D


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13 Sep 2014, 10:23 pm

skibum wrote:
I have not seen anyone put others down because they struggle in life here. People share their life experiences and just because some people manage to have some relationships or manage to work does not mean at all that they are putting others down who are not able to do these things. In fact, there is a lot of support for people who are struggling at those things and if you read enough posts you will see that.

We have also had lengthy conversations about why people can't get diagnosed with you on threads that you have started about that subject in the past. I am sure people do not want to rehash this subject with you. You know very well that some people simply cannot afford the thousands of dollars that a diagnosis can cost especially if the benefits that they might be able to get by getting one are so limited because of the age discrimination that is so prevalent in these matters.

If you are trying to troll, please end it now. This is not the first thread of this nature from you and you know that the others ended up getting locked. If you really have a legitimate feeling that you are trying to express then we can help you through it. But trust me, people are not putting others down because they have difficulties with work or relationships or with other aspects of life. People are not put down here because they struggle with social skills.


All of this. Nicely put Skibum. I too have never seen any threads around here from the self-diagnosed putting down anyone else because their social skills were weak. Anyone who legitimately self-diagnosed (as opposed to those who stick themselves with the label without doing any research because it's "cool" or they want to be "special") would never say such things, because the reason for their suspicion of being on the spectrum is that they struggle with social skills among other things as well.


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13 Sep 2014, 10:30 pm

billiscool wrote:
how do people who never actual been diagnosis with ASD.
actually know they really have it.Why ASD.
why not ADD,bioplar,or something else.


Because ADD, ASD and Bipolar are three entirely separate conditions with three entirely different sets of symptoms. Those who self-diagnose do not just randomly open the DSM, point to a diagnosis on a page and say, "Ah hah, that one!" We know we have it because we live inside our bodies every day; we can see and feel that we're different, that we have problems where others don't, and that the way the world works for normal people just doesn't work for us. Before my diagnosis, I was self-diagnosed for two years, and was sure that I had it even without a doctor telling me so, because I could look around me and see that I didn't fit in with the people and social structures in my life. Normal people didn't act the way I did.

(FYI, I also knew I wasn't ADD or bipolar because I wasn't hyperactive or inattentive, and I didn't have severe mood swings or psychotic episodes during a manic period: I knew I didn't have those things because I didn't fit the diagnostic criteria for them!)


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billiscool
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13 Sep 2014, 10:41 pm

skibum wrote:

Well, thank you very much my friend! :D And thank you for making the effort to ask the questions and get to know me a little better. You are cool too. :D


we need more undiagnosis ASD people like you.



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13 Sep 2014, 10:50 pm

billiscool wrote:
skibum wrote:

Well, thank you very much my friend! :D And thank you for making the effort to ask the questions and get to know me a little better. You are cool too. :D


we need more undiagnosis ASD people like you.


We need more people like Skibum period!


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Thanks to Olympiadis for my fantastic avatar!


skibum
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13 Sep 2014, 10:59 pm

Aww, thank you, both of you. You guys are great too. Star Trekker you know how grateful I am to you and how much I appreciate and respect you and how happy I am that you are a friend to me through our pms. Thank you both. :D


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Last edited by skibum on 13 Sep 2014, 11:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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13 Sep 2014, 11:11 pm

skibum wrote:
Aww, thank you, both of you. Your guys are great too. Star Trekker you know how grateful I am to you and how much I appreciate and respect you and how happy I am that you are a friend to me through our pms. Thank you both. :D


Thanks Skibum :) I greatly enjoy our PM communication as well: I always love reading your posts because it's clear through them that you're a very warm, genuine and gentle person, as even your conversation here with Billiscool demonstrates. This is of course a total derailing of the original thread, but I wanted you to know that :)


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Rediagnosed with ASD level 2 on the 4th of May, 2019
Thanks to Olympiadis for my fantastic avatar!


skibum
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13 Sep 2014, 11:30 pm

StarTrekker wrote:
skibum wrote:
Aww, thank you, both of you. Your guys are great too. Star Trekker you know how grateful I am to you and how much I appreciate and respect you and how happy I am that you are a friend to me through our pms. Thank you both. :D


Thanks Skibum :) I greatly enjoy our PM communication as well: I always love reading your posts because it's clear through them that you're a very warm, genuine and gentle person, as even your conversation here with Billiscool demonstrates. This is of course a total derailing of the original thread, but I wanted you to know that :)
Thank you! Hugs! :D


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14 Sep 2014, 3:25 am

skibum wrote:
I have not seen anyone put others down because they struggle in life here. People share their life experiences and just because some people manage to have some relationships or manage to work does not mean at all that they are putting others down who are not able to do these things. In fact, there is a lot of support for people who are struggling at those things and if you read enough posts you will see that.

We have also had lengthy conversations about why people can't get diagnosed with you on threads that you have started about that subject in the past. I am sure people do not want to rehash this subject with you. You know very well that some people simply cannot afford the thousands of dollars that a diagnosis can cost especially if the benefits that they might be able to get by getting one are so limited because of the age discrimination that is so prevalent in these matters.

If you are trying to troll, please end it now. This is not the first thread of this nature from you and you know that the others ended up getting locked. If you really have a legitimate feeling that you are trying to express then we can help you through it. But trust me, people are not putting others down because they have difficulties with work or relationships or with other aspects of life. People are not put down here because they struggle with social skills.


Unfortunately I have seen people put down for struggling on this site....but good luck finding an internet site where that never, ever happens. I have had people here imply I am a lazy bum because I'm on SSI so yeah it happens. Also of course getting relationships and accomplishing things does not mean one is looking down on people...however bragging about it like 'ha ha look at me and how awesome my life is compared to yours' does seem to imply a bit of looking down on people who have not accomplished those things or whatever, I would imagine that is what the OP is referring to.

I do however agree that not everyone can afford a diagnoses, I was lucky to get mine...well then again I could have maybe done it with getting on medicaid, but sort of needed that diagnoses as well as the others for the SSI and medicaid so I had some medical records.


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14 Sep 2014, 3:49 am

Thread locked. People come to this site for support, not for someone to point a finger at them and demean them because they don't have an *official* diagnosis.


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