Asperger people unable to take care of children - DK webpage

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helles
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11 Aug 2014, 6:59 am

This danish page http://www.aspergerpartner.dk/category/nyt promotes itself to be a place where NT can diskuss their problems with Asperger partners etc. Could be good but seems to be all about that everything is the AS persons fault. Seems as if a bunch of people with no or very little empathy is finding themselves a scapegoat.

I found the page via this article http://www.aspergerpartner.dk/hoejkonfl ... ndrom.html It seems to promote that in a difficult divorce it will always be the Asperger persons fault. They have no empathy and are not caple to take care of children (read - children should be taken from Asperger parents!).

I am terrified that this BS finds it way to the courts.



helles
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11 Aug 2014, 7:00 am

The danish article is based on
an article by Sheila Jennings Linehan, Toronto: ?High conflict and Asperger?s syndrome? apparently published by the english National Autistic Society.



michael517
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11 Aug 2014, 8:31 am

My wife has a (female) cousin with an autistic daughter, who recently finished college. I suspect the cousin (the mother) may have Asperger's, it might run in the family. She is the most loving mom I can think of, ever so patient with her daughter - and the grandmother as well, my wife's aunt.

My ASD has to come from some where too. My mom had a cousin that was autistic. My grandfather on my father's side was an engineer. My mom has always been loving and very, very fair to all five of her kids, even when they screw it up.

I'm not even going to read the article. Sounds like rubbish.



bumble
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11 Aug 2014, 9:08 am

The article is rubbish.

A mother who wants her child to know that she will always be there for him and tells him she loves him everyday compared to a father who told the child the mother had abandoned him and did not want him when that was not the case and was merely away visiting a friend as a matter of revenge because the mother said no to marrying him.

The father was NT, the Mother more ASD than NT.

The father didn't seem to have any empathy for the child or to care about what kind of emotional pain he was inflicting on his own son. All he seemed to care about was his own personal feelings, the welfare of the child was secondonary or not even considered at all.

The mother was concerned about the effect it such an act would have on her child and when she cried it was for the pain her son must have felt as a result of what had happened (can you imagine how much it must have hurt to be told a mother whom you were very close to did not want you?)....

Sounds like the ASD mother had more empathy than the NT father to me.

NTs make terrible parents sometimes...i dont think it's a matter of neurology.

I do keep warning people that NTs are cold self absorbed and incredibly selfish creatures who are ignorant and judgemental but no one is allowed to say a bad word about them around here. This board seems to be geared towards worshiping them and thinking their s**t don't stink. Its why I don't come here very often now.

Pn i am labelled as neurotypical on my profile but I am waiting for a formal diagnosis of Aspergers after serveral informal assessments with Aspergers East Anglia and a therapist. I wont take on the label until my diagnosis is confirmed though. I will say that given that my social/processing/sensory issues have been life long and my development was tested as being different to that of my peers when i was a child it is likely I am on the spectrum somewhere, even if a part of me stil doubts it for the simple reason that my development was advanced compared to my peers...I had the skill set of a much older child which makes me question a diagnosis that is considered to be a developmental delay. I do share a lot of traits in common with people on the spectrum (certain samenesses/routines, sensory issues, difficulty with social interaction, intense interests...but more than one, I find many things fascinating and generally just get excited whenever i get a chance to learn about something that I find even remotely enjoyable...god so many wonderful things out there to learn about....eeep!! ! makes my heart go pitty pat when i think about it...I feel alive when I am learning about stuff it's so much fun!) but am not sure that makes me autistic.

On saying that there is no way I can relate to NTs. I can at least related to ASD people, at least in part anyway.



Last edited by bumble on 11 Aug 2014, 9:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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11 Aug 2014, 9:22 am

There are many different types of NTs. You're just running into the wrong sort all the time. That colours your opinion, I believe.

Ever thought about hunting for food, then using your Mousterian hand-axe to skin it?



bumble
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11 Aug 2014, 9:34 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
There are many different types of NTs. You're just running into the wrong sort all the time. That colours your opinion, I believe.

Ever thought about hunting for food, then using your Mousterian hand-axe to skin it?


The ones i run into seem to be obsessed with their self esteem..i find it disturbing. They keep on about self hatred and seem to insist I must have self esteem issues. I am at a loss as to why exactly so many people seem to think I should hate myself...I am not perfect but I never wanted to be, I really just want to enjoy being alive. I only have one life, I'd like to enjoy it. Besides there are more interesting things than ego to wonder about...

I found some interesting flint stones the other day. One looks as though it has been shaped and would make a perfect hand tool (but I am unsure and would need to get it looked at) and the other seems to have an imprint of a fossil in it (the fossil itself was not with it).

As to the food, I'd grow my own fruit or veg...I was considering a blackberry bush in the garden actually and I have found several wild bushes nearby that I occassionally pick berries from. As to animals, it would depend...I tend to have a soft spot for cuddly critters and don't know if I could kill them myself. Some of them look so sweet. I'd end up letting them go or keeping them as a pet.

I have just put in an application for a Btec in art and design course. If i get a place perhaps I can design some paleo related things. I have several books on Cave paintings out of the library and one very large (and i mean very large) book detailing the complete history of art including pieces found from the paleolithic.



kraftiekortie
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11 Aug 2014, 9:38 am

Paleolithic art is amazing, at times.

The logistics were incredible. Cave walls are not smooth canvas or paper.



League_Girl
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11 Aug 2014, 12:35 pm

Good thing can't read Danish. The article sounds Rubbish.


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IKnowWhoIAmNow
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11 Aug 2014, 4:41 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
There are many different types of NTs. You're just running into the wrong sort all the time. That colours your opinion, I believe.

This was aimed at bumble but I have my own opinions on this, being ten years or so ahead of her in the diagnosis/recovery process...

I think that many people when first aware of their being Aspie are full of anger at the way they have been treated by "normal people" or "ordinary humans" or whatever and need somewhere to vent. Perhaps this subforum isn't it, but there really ought to be one. I know what it is to wish the entire human race was subjugated to Aspies and made to suffer as we have and fed up with abuse from them. I don't feel so angry any more and have been lucky, but many people have not been as lucky and bumble is certainly one of them.

I think it's fair to say that there should be some sort of support on this forum for people who are new, or who haven't received help and support, and thus still feel that raw anger; if simply ranting at NTs is an offence, you'd have to convict half the autistic community. Perhaps this part of WP isn't the place for it, but there should certainly be one.

From my extensive experience of customer service roles since diagnosis and recovery, my reasonably successful integration into at least some aspects of NT life, and having seen it from both sides of the fence, and the likelihood that I will soon be working in a part-time paid role for an AS charity, and the stuff I have already done for them as a volunteer,... I can tell you that a person as hurt as that needs to be listened to, regardless of whether or not you agree with them. Then they need structured advice and help.

Perhaps a subforum for newly diagnosed, or newly aware people is in order?

Disclaimer: bumble and I have been dating for a while (KK: I was the one who talked about partners for life a bit too strongly in the early days; we had both misunderstood each other), so I won't pretend to be completely objective about this.


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Jono
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07 Oct 2014, 9:22 am

helles wrote:
The danish article is based on
an article by Sheila Jennings Linehan, Toronto: ?High conflict and Asperger?s syndrome? apparently published by the english National Autistic Society.


Oh yes, Sheila Jennings Linehan. I remember that article too. Sheila Jennings Linehan was a family lawyer and a legal advisor to a group called FAAAS in Massachusetts in the United States. The goal of FAAAS was supposedly to try and help and support NT spouses and partners of people with AS, the only problem was that Sheila Jennings Linehan was writing articles and had a goal to blatantly discriminate against spouses with AS in divorce in family courts. She not only wrote article claiming that the AS partner can't parent but also articles that recommended that only the NT spouse should be believed if there is any evidence of abuse in the relationship, regardless of whatever the evidence suggested about who was responsible for the abuse. In any case, it was about in 2009, I think, that ASAN (Autistic Self-Advocacy Network) kept on getting complaints by AS women in abusive relationships that the courts would not believe their accounts of being abused by an NT spouse or partner largely due to the articles written by Linehan. So, this prompted Ari Neeman, the head of ASAN, to launch a campaign against FAAAS, both online and offline which eventually got Tony Attwood to write a letter, contradicting almost everything said by Linehan and was posted on the FAAAS website, meanwhile Linehan's articles were withdrawn and she is now no longer part of the group nor does she write anything about AS anymore.



Halfmadgenius
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07 Oct 2014, 12:33 pm

My brother is autistic and is a great father to his four young children as well as a fulltime college student and air force veteran.



helles
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08 Oct 2014, 1:40 pm

Hi Jonos

Thank you for that update. That information is very interesting

Helles



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08 Oct 2014, 2:15 pm

Jono wrote:
helles wrote:
The danish article is based on
an article by Sheila Jennings Linehan, Toronto: ?High conflict and Asperger?s syndrome? apparently published by the english National Autistic Society.


Oh yes, Sheila Jennings Linehan. I remember that article too. Sheila Jennings Linehan was a family lawyer and a legal advisor to a group called FAAAS in Massachusetts in the United States. The goal of FAAAS was supposedly to try and help and support NT spouses and partners of people with AS, the only problem was that Sheila Jennings Linehan was writing articles and had a goal to blatantly discriminate against spouses with AS in divorce in family courts. She not only wrote article claiming that the AS partner can't parent but also articles that recommended that only the NT spouse should be believed if there is any evidence of abuse in the relationship, regardless of whatever the evidence suggested about who was responsible for the abuse. In any case, it was about in 2009, I think, that ASAN (Autistic Self-Advocacy Network) kept on getting complaints by AS women in abusive relationships that the courts would not believe their accounts of being abused by an NT spouse or partner largely due to the articles written by Linehan. So, this prompted Ari Neeman, the head of ASAN, to launch a campaign against FAAAS, both online and offline which eventually got Tony Attwood to write a letter, contradicting almost everything said by Linehan and was posted on the FAAAS website, meanwhile Linehan's articles were withdrawn and she is now no longer part of the group nor does she write anything about AS anymore.


Thanks for clearing that up, as I couldn't find anything related on the NAS site.