Have people said you look angry (when you're not)?

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IAmTheCatalyst
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25 Sep 2014, 9:50 pm

All the time. Or that I look "entirely emotionless" when in fact, I'm very upset. I also tend to laugh at the wrong times when I'm nervous or sad and some people think I'm being rude to them on purpose. :?


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L_Holmes
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25 Sep 2014, 10:02 pm

IAmTheCatalyst wrote:
I also tend to laugh at the wrong times when I'm nervous or sad and some people think I'm being rude to them on purpose. :?


Yes, I do this occasionally too. I don't know why, but often when someone is telling me that something very serious happened I feel an urge to smile or laugh, and I really don't know why. It is very hard to hide too, so it is pretty frustrating as I know I don't actually find what they are saying to be funny, but there's no easy way to explain that.


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IAmTheCatalyst
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25 Sep 2014, 10:15 pm

L_Holmes wrote:
Yes, I do this occasionally too. I don't know why, but often when someone is telling me that something very serious happened I feel an urge to smile or laugh, and I really don't know why. It is very hard to hide too, so it is pretty frustrating as I know I don't actually find what they are saying to be funny, but there's no easy way to explain that.


Mmmhmm. Just yesterday it happened. A relative's kid fell and hit her head (she was fine), and I was worried of course, but I had to hold back laughter. I'm glad she didn't glance over at me.


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Raleigh
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26 Sep 2014, 12:07 am

IAmTheCatalyst wrote:
All the time. Or that I look "entirely emotionless" when in fact, I'm very upset. I also tend to laugh at the wrong times when I'm nervous or sad and some people think I'm being rude to them on purpose. :?

I tend to laugh when someone gets angry, which could prove dangerous if you laugh at the wrong kind of person. It's a nervous reaction.


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IAmTheCatalyst
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26 Sep 2014, 12:21 am

Raleigh wrote:
IAmTheCatalyst wrote:
All the time. Or that I look "entirely emotionless" when in fact, I'm very upset. I also tend to laugh at the wrong times when I'm nervous or sad and some people think I'm being rude to them on purpose. :?

I tend to laugh when someone gets angry, which could prove dangerous if you laugh at the wrong kind of person. It's a nervous reaction.


Yes, I do that one as well. Not fun at all.


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Evil_Chuck
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26 Sep 2014, 1:13 am

Yes, all the time. "Scowling" is the word they use sometimes. People have become so used to performing for each other that the absence of a smile is considered a bad thing. But it doesn't mean I'm angry; usually I'm just thinking.


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26 Sep 2014, 1:42 am

Yes, I get that all the time. The thing is I'm not angry when I say something, but people close to me who I think should know me better, say that I am. Then I exclaim that I'm not angry. They don't believe me! Then I try to tone down what I'm saying and lose the thread of the conversation. Perhaps that's what people wanted in the first place. To shut me up.



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26 Sep 2014, 4:14 am

No, not angry, but they do seem to think I look sad or worried. I've been plagued all my life by comments from perfect strangers: "Cheer up!" "Smile, it may never happen!" When I'm walking along feeling perfectly neutral, not sad.

My face "at rest" is just a bit sad looking but it's because I'm nearly always tired and lost in thought.

When I'm truly feeling sad I actively try to hide that and put on what I think is my neutral face. Something obviously is not working...


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26 Sep 2014, 4:42 am

People don't say I look angry but their reactions suggest that they think I'm angry. Some people start talking to me very carefully/tactfully not to "further offend me", almost trying to pacify a difficult customer. Others respond by getting angry themselves at "my anger", raising their voice, when I think I'm being polite and friendly and there's absolutely no negative factor in the situation. Still others start trying to explain themselves as if they had to. I believe it's mostly because my fear of people makes me tense/nervous and people falsely sense "anger" in my tense voice and facial expression. It's really sad that I get misunderstood in this way very often. Not all people get it wrong though.



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26 Sep 2014, 5:14 am

No most of the time if I look angry I am angry.


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26 Sep 2014, 5:24 am

I have had people say this to me when I was just sitting thinking or during a conversation. I think my natural face is kind of angry looking. Maybe its that we are so focused on figuring the world out that the strain shows on our faces. I try to be more conscious of what face I have on.



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26 Sep 2014, 6:30 am

As child and young adult I often heard, "smile!", "Uh! You look angry", "Did I pee on your sugarcake?", or "Stop looking like the muse of sorrow" - and all, I could register,. was a sometimes painful tension in my face.
Didn´t know it had to do with autism either.


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leeflea
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26 Sep 2014, 6:54 am

I have been asked that question fairly frequently for the past few years. Just because I look angry doesn't mean I am angry. I am usually quite released most of the time.



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26 Sep 2014, 7:05 am

L_Holmes wrote:
IAmTheCatalyst wrote:
I also tend to laugh at the wrong times when I'm nervous or sad and some people think I'm being rude to them on purpose. :?


Yes, I do this occasionally too. I don't know why, but often when someone is telling me that something very serious happened I feel an urge to smile or laugh, and I really don't know why. It is very hard to hide too, so it is pretty frustrating as I know I don't actually find what they are saying to be funny, but there's no easy way to explain that.


I have a problem with smiling when something really bad happens to someone. Last year my teacher announced that she was getting treated for breast cancer. I had to cover my face.


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RocketMom
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26 Sep 2014, 2:31 pm

Yep. My whole life. My husband fondly calls it "resting b**** face" - when we first got together he asked me all the time if I was mad or sad. Now he knows i just don't have a "friendly" neutral expression.

I'm only just now putting the pieces together that I have AS tendencies since we are seeing evaluation for my oldest child. Explains sooooo much...including my "resting b**** face" that I wasn't aware of for the longest time.