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How can I deal with this sense of loneliness?

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Ron5443
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29 Sep 2014, 6:40 pm

I never had any luck meeting women romantically; I wasn't what they were looking for. At 45 I completely gave up all the standard ways of looking and started looking at the sites of East European women looking for foreign husbands. The ladies didn't mind that I was a little different and were happy to hear from me. They appreciated me for who I am, they were honestly interested in me. I met a very nice lady and after corresponding for a while and visiting her a few times, we got married. That was 10 years ago. We're still happily together.

If you pursue this, be careful. Some of them are desperate to get out of East Europe and will say or do anything. Some of them are out to take a rich foreigner for all they can get. Take your time, get to know her (I took 2 years) and if it really seems too good to be true, it probably isn't



B19
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29 Sep 2014, 7:17 pm

You approached that wisely, and I can imagine the high risks of rushing in as a solution to the pain of isolation. Good for you, I am glad you found happiness.



bungleton
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30 Sep 2014, 5:25 am

downbutnotout wrote:
You say you volunteer, but what's the atmosphere there like socially? Even if you're around people, if you don't feel you share values and can have honest talks it's common to still feel lonely. The more you reach out a little bit to others in a friendly fashion, the less weight there is on one person who doesn't know you very well to cover that much need.


In all of the volunteer situations I'm in, I am by far the youngest. I see what you mean, though to be honest I'm not sure how many more social additions I can make to my life before I start going backwards again!


_________________
How did I get here tonight? What am I doing here?
How did I reach this state? How did I lose my sight?
I'm lost! I'm freaking! And everybody knows!
Everyone's watching!
So here... Are my hopes and aspirations
Nothing but puke
God, I'm so loooooonelaaaaaaayyyy
*power stance, air guitar*


forestwalker
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11 Feb 2019, 11:21 am

I'm in a good marriage and I have two great kids but even for me the loneliness is still there. I think sometimes it's just hard to open up and share our real selves with others. You're brave for doing that with this girl. And I admire that you're letting her have the space she needs. Maybe. Someday. When I was fist getting to know my husband it felt like we would get close and then back off so many times before we actually started dating. But real time was only a year, it just felt like forever.
This might sound hokey but when I'm my loneliest and I just can't share with anyone else, I pray to God. God has always been willing to meet me right where I am. No changing, no pretending, just me being real. So you could try that. Lately, I find myself say "I'm trying" a lot. Life can be so hard, I think we show strength just by not giving up, but continued effort. It's honestly hard to be social but I think relationships are valuable. My pastor says "Relationships bring healing", whether those are relationships with others or relationships with God. Keep trying! Good luck!