Is this a meltdown or just me getting really angry?

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I don't really get meltdowns from sensory issues, usually things like that just irritate me. If a person is directly causing it, by yelling or causing chaos intentionally, then I may get pretty mad at them, but I don't lose the ability to function or start hitting myself on the head from it.

For me to have what I would consider a meltdown, either something of at least moderate significance has to not happen the way I expected/wanted, or someone must be showing aggression towards me. Those are the only 2 things that I think really cause me meltdowns.

However, I am wondering about a specific incident that happened at work the other day. Throughout that day, a coworker whom I will call John, was bothering me. John was making sarcastic and rude comments about how slowly I was going. There were many times when he, being slightly ahead of me, did something that was technically my job and then said sarcastically, "Oh, don't worry, I've got it man!" I was just trying to let it go, but I was getting seriously angry, especially because every time he did that he wasn't even done with his stuff in the first place, so there was no reason he should be doing somebody else's work. (I work at a truck wash by the way. I hate it.)

I was extremely on edge, so I decided to just get him to back off and do his own stuff first. The next time I saw John coming to do my job (brushing a part of the truck on my side), I yelled at him, "John, do your own stuff first!" and proceed to do my section (I was actually slightly ahead of him this time). He, totally ignoring me, did a small section of his own side, and worked his way over to mine, and then got in my way and proceeded to do my section, blocking me from doing anything other than standing there looking dumb. At that point, I totally lost control and rammed him and his brush out of the way, and proceeded to do my section. He just stood there looking surprised, and another guy yelled at me for "f***ing around" and told me to do all of it. I blatantly refused, and yelled at John to do his own side again, to which he had no response, and then I walked off, and nothing else really happened after that.

It was hard to think for a while afterwards because I was still really mad about it, almost to the point of tears, which was kind of surprising to me. Before I walked away I also noticed my voice was starting to be uncontrollable too, it was getting kind of shaky. Could that be considered a meltdown?

How about if he does that again you go over to his side and do his work?
Then you can be all 'not so fun when the shoe is on the other foot eh'

Is this a timed job where you have to be done in a certain length of time?
If not, tell him you work best at your own speed.
People got like that with me at the coffee shop I worked at. Even when they knew I have medical issues. Towards the end I would just get fed up, work at my own speed, and thought if anyone wants to write me up for it I'll claim discrimination. Gladly it didn't come to that. Once or twice the more someone pestered me about the way I worked, the slower I got! Tough beans. My health comes first.

But I hate rude comments on the speed at which I do things, too. I've told people 'it's easy to judge when you're not in my shoes'

Dunno if that is really a meltdown, technically. I always think of a meltdown where you become totally non-functional, as in you're sitting there doing nothing or stimming, but you're unable to do whatever it is you're supposed to be doing or what the other person wants you to do.

we don't technically have any sort of quota, but we can get a bonus depending on how much money we bring in, so people won't shut up about going faster. I go as fast as of can, I never speed up when they yell at me. I wish they'd just learn.

But as far as meltdowns go, that's why I'm confused. I've seen some definitions where something of even less severity than what I described could be considered a meltdown, while others are closer to your definition.

As a kid I would have meltdowns that fit what you described, but that hardly happens anymore. The last time I can remember was about a month ago.

Sounds like anger to me.

It's typical for people to black out and/or start shaking at the peak of their rage. I've dated several men with anger problems (they felt rage regularly for whatever reason) and shaking is a warning sign that they were about to go nuts or lose control. (I have fabulous taste in men!).

It could be more of an outburst. Aspies/autistics are known for having angry outbursts if triggered to do so. I have them now and then where I throw things or start yelling angrily. It really depends on what the trigger is.

I think what you experienced was anger. I have reacted the same way, when I was your age. He probably views your slower pace as a weakness, and thought he'd passive-aggressively show you you are "wrong" (instead of telling you); and / or he's making fun of you. Oftentimes people think that someone who is quiet or "different" is going to let them walk all over them----that's why he seemed stunned when you pushed him (or whatever you said you did). He thought he was going to mock you, or whatever, and that he was going to get away with it. It's good that you did what you did----now, hopefully, he will know you're not gonna put-up with him!!

People fail to realize that just because someone says or does something differently than them doesn't mean the other person is wrong, it just means they're different.

My aunt had a job one time where she had a quota and she was never quite able to meet it, but her boss told her he would much rather have someone like her who produced the same amount everyday, than the inconsistency of others. Too bad we can't all have bosses like that!! !

I agree- it sounds like anger.

It doesn't sound like my meltdowns, personally. I end up rocking, crying and trying to escape. But you know YOU, y'know? Since we often don't have 'fast words' we use physical movement as our communication. You wanted him to stop- and your physical movements conveyed this.

I hope he leaves you alone now, or at least keeps to his own job. How frustrating. Mean people like that are why I won't work anymore.

Well I wasn't shaking physically, just my voice a little. And I don't think I've ever blacked out from anger before, though I guess if I had, by definition I wouldn't actually remember it But I'm pretty sure that's never happened.

I know as a kid I was sent to anger management therapy twice but it never helped, which is why I was wondering if it isn't simply anger. I would get so angry at other children for bullying and teasing me that I'd freak out, and once I got to that point it was pretty much indistinguishable from a meltdown, and I wouldn't be able to explain to teachers why I was freaking out so they assumed I was the perpetrator and I got in trouble.

Now I can still speak when I get like that, but I am still unable to explain things well. Usually I just keep repeating the same thing, like in this example I was just telling him to do his own side, which I think I said 3 times and that was really all I said.

I'm just wondering what the actual definition of a meltdown is, because I keep finding different definitions and I don't know which one is correct.

http://www.adultaspergerschat.com/2012/ ... h.html?m=1

Like this page says it can even be considered a meltdown if an adult Aspie has an outburst like I described, or even just says something disproportionately rude that they didn't mean.

But I've seen other sources say it is a total loss of control. It seems like there is a lot of gray area. Is there even an official definition at all?

Nope, there is no official definition.

That's ridiculous IMO. I've seen NTs get so pissed off they do things from that list (namely: aggressive behavior in which the individual reacts grossly out of proportion to the circumstance, angry outbursts that involve throwing or breaking objects, and yelling and screaming). Is it meltdown when they do it too then, or is is just aspies who aren't allowed to have emotional reactions?


Yeah, I really wish there were official definitions and straight classifications. I like things like these to be clear. It's very frustrating that it is so hard to know what is what.
Based on the name I first thought meltdown meant getting really angry, so at first I thought I had had meltdowns.
Then I saw people saying it was due to sensory issues, and /or that it meant losing control, not being able to stop oneself, and not remembering much or anything of it afterwards, and then I concluded that I had never had one after all, since none of that has happened to me.


I would say what happened in your case was anger.

Yeah, I agree with the others as to no.1, there is NO definitive answer. Meltdowns are different to different people, and they have different triggers. No.2, I agree that that page is silly because I TOO have seen NTs do what it says on that page. I have also heard NTs call them meltdowns, but I think meltdowns for NTs are different than meltdowns for ASDers.

It has been MY experience that too often pages like that, that are written by "experts", are terribly erroneous because these "experts" have never experienced what they're writing about, so how could they know, TRULY?!?! I also have questioned many doctors in person. They think, sometimes, that if they haven't read it in a medical book, that it doesn't exist, for instance. Well, I've got NEWS for THEM.... LIFE AIN'T IN A BOOK----AND, if non-fiction books were all facts, all-the-time, man wouldn't have needed to invent the word "Revised Edition"! !!