Is it normal for people with Aspergers to hate change?

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dianthus
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18 Oct 2014, 5:36 pm

I dislike changes that I am not mentally prepared for.



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18 Oct 2014, 6:10 pm

I hate change. It gives me anxiety. 8O :cry: 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O


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18 Oct 2014, 6:21 pm

dianthus wrote:
I dislike changes that I am not mentally prepared for.


That's the same with me. If it's change that I've been waiting my lifetime for, I'll embrace it. If it's change that I'm not prepared for or change that's unexpected in a negative way, than I don't like it. There was a period during my time here that an unexpected and unwanted change happened where I wanted to travel. I don't want to dig up the past, so I won't give too many details.


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olympiadis
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18 Oct 2014, 6:36 pm

Rocket123 wrote:
I dislike change imposed by others, that I am not able to prepare for, that interferes with what I consider to be ?the natural order of things? .


great description!
I agree with those conditionals.



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18 Oct 2014, 9:14 pm

For me it depends. If it's something I like or if it's positive, I like it.


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NiceCupOfTea
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18 Oct 2014, 9:35 pm

This is something I've wondered about.

On the one hand, I'm not overly ritualistic. I don't have a rigid schedule to which I must abide by or else. On the other hand, I don't adapt well. A small example: doctor's appointments. I get completely put out if I expect to see a particular doctor/nurse and then somebody else shows up. It happens all the time as well, so you think I'd have got used to it by now, but I never really have.

The prospect of change can induce severe anxiety. My life is pretty predictable and familiar at the moment and has been for a very long time. I live in a bit of a bubble. It's not a particularly happy one, but up until now it's always been a case of "better the devil you know than the one you don't know". However, this year I've finally been motivated to take action. I've put my name down on the housing register. Good thing about that is I'll be on it for so long, even I might have enough time to mentally prepare... :-/



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19 Oct 2014, 6:34 am

NiceCupOfTea wrote:
This is something I've wondered about.

On the one hand, I'm not overly ritualistic. I don't have a rigid schedule to which I must abide by or else. On the other hand, I don't adapt well. A small example: doctor's appointments. I get completely put out if I expect to see a particular doctor/nurse and then somebody else shows up. It happens all the time as well, so you think I'd have got used to it by now, but I never really have.

The prospect of change can induce severe anxiety. My life is pretty predictable and familiar at the moment and has been for a very long time. I live in a bit of a bubble. It's not a particularly happy one, but up until now it's always been a case of "better the devil you know than the one you don't know". However, this year I've finally been motivated to take action. I've put my name down on the housing register. Good thing about that is I'll be on it for so long, even I might have enough time to mentally prepare... :-/


Yeah I thought that this ritualistic outlook on life is more common in NTs based on how they react when you don't fit in with their repetitive conversational norms.



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19 Oct 2014, 4:05 pm

I usually do not like changes. It often causes me anxiety if there is a schedule change at my job. I am interested in how different this site is going to be when it finally switches to the new look.


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19 Oct 2014, 5:39 pm

I don't like change. My parents expect me to do things that require changes, and it's like... I can't. However, if it's something I'm changing all on my own, then I don't mind it. It also depends on what the change is as well.


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LonelyJar
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26 Oct 2014, 11:13 pm

"CHANGE?! YA GOT CHANGE?!"



shortfatbalduglyman
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15 May 2017, 10:22 pm

I have often seen or hear on this forum and elsewhere that a common symptom is disliking or being threatened/intimidated by change but...I'm the opposite. I really cannot wait for my environment to change completely. I have come t despise more people than I have come to like and the endless monotony of my life in sixth form is killing me (which is horrible because I only started about 6 weeks ago). I really cannot wait to finally wave goodbye to this, I get bored frequently (maybe due to depression idk) but this doesn't seem to fit my diagnosis. Does this vary a lot?
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yes, i hate change. when i was 18 and moved to college. 500 miles away. in a republican city. started a different major. it was like culture shock. change of eating habits.

moving house

starting jobs, getting fired

"friendships". precious lil "people" told me they were "friends", but they wanna veto anything i do that they do not like, while they are not willing to change anything for me.

in school, different class schedule every semester/quarter. sometimes that meant classes that started 7:30am or ended @ 9pm. changing classes was hard.

sometimes, even change for the better is something i hate.



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16 May 2017, 2:04 am

It causes me a lot of anxiety.


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16 May 2017, 5:30 am

It depends what it is. When I was going from primary school to secondary school, I was excited about the big change. The only thing I was really anxious about was how strict the teachers might have been, and the homework. Not the fact that we were going to have different classes in different classrooms with different teachers. Didn't bother me at all.


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16 May 2017, 5:57 am

I remember when around December 2 years ago, my family moved all the furniture from the living room to the dining room and the dining room was going to be the new living room. I was so distraught. I was just so incredibly depressed because this is where I grew, where I watched cartoons every morning, where I played with my little sister, and now it's just moved all of the sudden. I remember just sitting in the room in the dark and just a rush of overwhelming sadness washing over me. Luckily it only lasted for a year and they moved everything back.



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16 May 2017, 6:32 am

It depends for me but I am not sure what the pattern is. Let's see.

I get extremely anxious and depressed when I graduate a school/end a trainee job and am forced to look for a new job/school, find offers, sent CVs. I will get a lot of meltdowns and shutdowns during that periods.
But I will also get excited when all is set (nice job offer found, CV sent, they invited me for an job interview) - I will happily imagine myself working there and go to the interview quite happy. Stressed yes - but excited too.
Then the interview is over and my repeatable meltdowns and shutdowns intensify while I am waiting for an answer(because I don't know if they hired me or not and I can't know when the phone is going to call so I can't plan anything, I can't even go to restroom because they might call).
But when I actually start a new school/job I adjust easily. Unless the job environment doesn't fit me and people bully me from the start(it happened in my previous test job).

I am the same with fun events. For example going to vacation or a trip. The organizing part freaks me out and my meltdowns/shutdowns intensify before it's all set but then ... I just go there and adjust so easily as if I always lived there. I even sort of forget how my house looks like after 2 nights in a rented room. I do remember but it feels as if I was remembering something I left 10 years ago, not 3 days ago.

There are also the sudden changes during the day, "We are leaving in 10 mins". My reaction to those seems to depend on what I was doing, where we are going and if I am forced to go if I don't like it and If I have enough time to prepare. I will generally be angry if they wake me up to tell me this (if you want to leave at 9AM let me know the evening before so I go to bed early and get enough sleep!), if I am busy("Not 10 mins, 20!") and if they hurry me("We are waiting, why so slow?") especially if they lie about the time ("It wasn't 10 mins, I am already waiting half of hour for you!") because "Time flows differently depending what side of restroom door you are"(= the one who is waiting always feels more time passed than reality) :lol: .

But later in the day, especially about the time mom gets back home from work I sort of can't wait for them to say something like this because I am bored at home and I want a change of pace. When I hear "We are going to a shop/grandma/neighbor city/train station/whatever." I will answer "Me too!" and get ready as fast as I can(It could be as fast as picking my bag up and going to restroom or as long as "Just give me 15 mins, I need to finish here").

And I can't say I really have a routine to follow. It could be because my house environment is unorganized. I had to adapt or I couldn't survive.
Especially my mom, which I share the trait with - I just "have to" reorganise my room every a few months and I like changing stuff in other rooms too.
My dad (probably in the spectrum but not diagnosed) hates that one. He yells at us when we change anything in the house.
Dad doesn't like change but he is the one forcing us to be adaptable because he never communicates what he plans for(he does, but we have hard time guessing if he is joking or really means it because his body language fails) and expects everyone to follow the plan. So I had to learn to make my decisions fast and improvise.