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Girlwithaspergers
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23 Oct 2014, 8:36 pm

Every time I go to therapy, I come home crying in tears and having a huge fight with my family. My therapist laughs in my face, says that everything I say is "nonsense, retarded, BS, etc." He then lies about saying it. He accuses me of faking and I've changed my entire personality about 3 times just to shut him up to no avail. I have begged him to dismiss me as a patient and he laughs at me and refuses, even after I threatened to call the police. He makes fun of my life choices, says that I am lazy and that I am wasting my time by not handing over my life to everyone else. He tells me that I need to knock it off. I told him about my porn addiction, which was something I did not even want to talk about, and he accused me of looking at child porn (wasn't true at all, it was WRITTEN smut/fanfiction and all the characters were 30 year olds, said that I need to "control my appetite for that stuff" TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE. When he saw my photo in the newspaper he told me in person that he does not recognize me because I actually looked good in that photo and I look like a mess when I see him. He makes fun of my shoes and yells at me when I don't have sneakers because he thinks that I need to excercise more and gets mad that I don't work out. He is angry if I have a designer purse or nice things because he says my family should not take me shopping unless I have a job. He says things on purpose to make me angry just so I can meltdown and give him a reason to turn my family against me, and when I accuse him of this he denies it and laughs in my face. He says that I need him and he is on my side when he's not. His secretary is never there, my appointments are all jumbled up, he answers phone calls during my sessions, cuts them short, double charges, and has berated me for asking to get up and use the bathroom when needed. I feel like I need to tape record this guy and report him or something! I have never had a worse therapist in my life!


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JoelFan
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23 Oct 2014, 8:49 pm

Your best bet would be to get a micro recorder and record what is transpiring and if indeed this person is doing what you claiming he is doing I'm sure there could be some ethics violations. Furthermore if your not ordered by any courts to see this person and if you are over 18 YOU have the right to leave and discontinue any future appointments.


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Andrejake
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23 Oct 2014, 8:57 pm

What?!
I needed to read your text twice to be sure about what i was reading!
Why are you still doing therapy with him?
Is your family forcing you to do it?
I also couldn't be sure if you have talked to your family about this, have you? And when you say all this they don't belive you?



em_tsuj
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23 Oct 2014, 9:03 pm

record you sessions. look up the state licensing board that he must report to in order to keep his license. tell the licensing board about him if you want to stop him from abusing others. why are you still going to see him? you would be better off psychologically if you stopped seeing him.



michael517
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23 Oct 2014, 9:08 pm

Your tag line says you are in the USA.

So yeah, like Andrejake said, do you have to go to this person?



Girlwithaspergers
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23 Oct 2014, 9:24 pm

I have tried to get my mom to cancel as well but my dad insists that I "need help" and forces me to go. He (who is rarely ever even in the same state nvm the same house as me) thinks that the doctor is helping me and wants me to do everything the doctor says even though I have panic attacks and bad behavior mainly around the day of my appt. My dad critisizes the therapists that I got along with because they "let me talk about stupid things" this therapist will not even listen to my problems. He says "that isn't relevant" when it's something important to me. I tried to tell him that he should give me advice and coping skills to address the sources of the bad emotion but he ignored me and says I "just have to deal with it and hold all the emotions in for the rest of my life" and "behave like a socially accepted adult" I tried to tell him that a person can't hold bad feelings in forever and that's how stuff like Newtown and suicide happens. He said this was a lie and that I should do what's accepted and behave like everyone else. He told me I act like an 11 year old or a 2 year old depending on the day. He tells me I should be social and do everything everyone does and shut my mouth and "just get over my anxiety" He said for me to stop talking about anxiety and that I'm making it up. He also said that I should cook and clean if I don't want a job. He threatened to make me a ward of the state a bunch of times but when I've begged him to do so after dealing with things at home he says no to that then. One day I was so mad too mad to talk so I wanted to write things down and he kept asking me if I was done, saying I was taking too long, tried to grab the clipboard away from me, then he made fun of my penmanship and my grammar and said everything I wrote was either irrelevant or a blatant lie. Then he yelled and kicked me out so he could talk to my parents and spread who knows what gossip about me. One time he asked me about my potential bf (who he pushed me into contacting) and wanted to know his name bc he was curious if he knew him or if he was another patient. He even tells personal info of other patients and where they go to school likf wtaf


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nick007
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23 Oct 2014, 9:37 pm

Your age list you as 18 so your an adult & your dad has no control over you going or not. You could insist to your dad that you want a different therapist if he still wants you to go & find one you'd both like.


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tall-p
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23 Oct 2014, 9:43 pm

I have read your post several times... and I think your therapist wants you to get angry. You said that you have entirely changed your personality three times just trying to get him off your back. Isn't it possible that he wants you to see that you are not a slave to your "condition?" Asperger's isn't a curse. Having it doesn't mean you have to be anxious, or depressed, or unemployed, forever. People... regular folks face up to their anxieties and overcome them every day. But then millions and millions of regular folks, NTs, succumb to their worries and anxieties and take all kinds of meds to "feel better."

You are young. You have your whole life ahead of you. I think your doc is trying to put you in touch with your POWER... your power to change, and he doesn't want to just stroke your anxieties and comfort you... like the other 99.9% of helping professionals.


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Last edited by tall-p on 23 Oct 2014, 9:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Who_Am_I
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23 Oct 2014, 9:48 pm

Like others have said, record him secretly.


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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


kamiyu910
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23 Oct 2014, 10:00 pm

It sounds like your dad is the bigger problem :(
Like others have said, if you're 18, you should be able to say no without legal ramifications. No one can force you to go without blackmailing, can they?
Also, recording the sessions sounds like a good idea.


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tall-p
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23 Oct 2014, 10:06 pm

Girlwithaspergers wrote:
<snip> my dad insists that I "need help" and forces me to go <snip> even though I have panic attacks and bad behavior mainly around the day of my appt. My dad critisizes the therapists that I got along with because they "let me talk about stupid things" this therapist will not even listen to my problems. He says "that isn't relevant" when it's something important to me. I tried to tell him that he should give me advice and coping skills to address the sources of the bad emotion but he ignored me and says I "just have to deal with it and hold all the emotions in for the rest of my life" and "behave like a socially accepted adult" I tried to tell him that a person can't hold bad feelings in forever and that's how stuff like Newtown and suicide happens. He said this was a lie and that I should do what's accepted and behave like everyone else. He told me I act like an 11 year old or a 2 year old depending on the day. He tells me I should be social and do everything everyone does and shut my mouth and "just get over my anxiety" He said for me to stop talking about anxiety and that I'm making it up. He also said that I should cook and clean if I don't want a job. He threatened to make me a ward of the state a bunch of times but when I've begged him to do so after dealing with things at home he says no to that then. One day I was so mad too mad to talk so I wanted to write things down and he kept asking me if I was done, saying I was taking too long, tried to grab the clipboard away from me, then he made fun of my penmanship and my grammar and said everything I wrote was either irrelevant or a blatant lie. Then he yelled and kicked me out so he could talk to my parents and spread who knows what gossip about me. One time he asked me about my potential bf (who he pushed me into contacting) and wanted to know his name bc he was curious if he knew him or if he was another patient. He even tells personal info of other patients and where they go to school likf wtaf

I like your posts about you and your therapist because they are so immediate and they are very authentic. I really want to encourage you to stick with him. The years between 17- 23 are hard for everyone. These years are all about existential anxiety + sex. Who am I going to be? What am I going to be? Who is going to love me, and who am I going to love? How am I going to pay my way? This therapist is looking for your strengths, and he's NEVER going to say, "Aw, poor darling, you have a broken wing and you will never fly."


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Who_Am_I
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23 Oct 2014, 10:10 pm

tall-p wrote:
Girlwithaspergers wrote:
<snip> my dad insists that I "need help" and forces me to go <snip> even though I have panic attacks and bad behavior mainly around the day of my appt. My dad critisizes the therapists that I got along with because they "let me talk about stupid things" this therapist will not even listen to my problems. He says "that isn't relevant" when it's something important to me. I tried to tell him that he should give me advice and coping skills to address the sources of the bad emotion but he ignored me and says I "just have to deal with it and hold all the emotions in for the rest of my life" and "behave like a socially accepted adult" I tried to tell him that a person can't hold bad feelings in forever and that's how stuff like Newtown and suicide happens. He said this was a lie and that I should do what's accepted and behave like everyone else. He told me I act like an 11 year old or a 2 year old depending on the day. He tells me I should be social and do everything everyone does and shut my mouth and "just get over my anxiety" He said for me to stop talking about anxiety and that I'm making it up. He also said that I should cook and clean if I don't want a job. He threatened to make me a ward of the state a bunch of times but when I've begged him to do so after dealing with things at home he says no to that then. One day I was so mad too mad to talk so I wanted to write things down and he kept asking me if I was done, saying I was taking too long, tried to grab the clipboard away from me, then he made fun of my penmanship and my grammar and said everything I wrote was either irrelevant or a blatant lie. Then he yelled and kicked me out so he could talk to my parents and spread who knows what gossip about me. One time he asked me about my potential bf (who he pushed me into contacting) and wanted to know his name bc he was curious if he knew him or if he was another patient. He even tells personal info of other patients and where they go to school likf wtaf

I like your posts about you and your therapist because they are so immediate and they are very authentic. I really want to encourage you to stick with him. The years between 17- 23 are hard for everyone. These years are all about existential anxiety + sex. Who am I going to be? What am I going to be? Who is going to love me, and who am I going to love? How am I going to pay my way? This therapist is looking for your strengths, and he's NEVER going to say, "Aw, poor darling, you have a broken wing and you will never fly."


Big difference between "Aw, you poor darling, blah blah blah" and telling her that what she says is "nonsense, retarded, BS, etc.". If you think the latter is even slightly appropriate, I hope you never, ever work with people. Ever.


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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


DVCal
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23 Oct 2014, 10:13 pm

Do not record the session, in many states this is a major felony and can put you in jail for long time. It is a major violation of the rights of the person being recorded and a serious crime.



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23 Oct 2014, 10:17 pm

Wouldn't verbal abuse of a patient also be some kind of a crime?


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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


tall-p
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23 Oct 2014, 10:32 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
Big difference between "Aw, you poor darling, blah blah blah" and telling her that what she says is "nonsense, retarded, BS, etc.". If you think the latter is even slightly appropriate, I hope you never, ever work with people. Ever.

Her therapist is refusing to feel sorry for her, in my opinion. He wants her to have courage... to be brave, and to face down her demons.


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Who_Am_I
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23 Oct 2014, 10:33 pm

tall-p wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
Big difference between "Aw, you poor darling, blah blah blah" and telling her that what she says is "nonsense, retarded, BS, etc.". If you think the latter is even slightly appropriate, I hope you never, ever work with people. Ever.

Her therapist is refusing to feel sorry for her, in my opinion. He wants her to have courage... be brave, and face down her demons.


Surely, then, a better way of putting things would be "be brave, have courage, face down your demons!".


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I