Overly positive people

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A woman at a group I attend is so overly positive and enthusiastic she makes me feel uncomfortable.
She's always telling me how life is so wonderful but I can't really see it, unless she's pointing out something in nature, like a sunset. Last time she told me I need to 'find my joy'. How am I supposed to find my 'joy' if I don't know what joy feels like?
Am I so negative because I can't imagine what things like joy and happiness feel like, yet I can feel sadness and frustration? Is this the same for others on the spectrum or are there genuinely enthusiastic and positive people on the spectrum too? All the people I know with ASD's seem to have naturally sceptical outlooks like me.

Internally, I consider myself a very positive individual who is quite optimistic, however, those who are externally very "positive" feels very uncomfortable to be around. I don't think that's abnormal though. It's almost as if there's something they're hiding underneath...

m8, are you me?

I've lost count of the number of times "positive thinkers" have done my head in. There's a Depression forum (whose name shall go unmentioned) which is an absolute terror for enforcing positive thinking. Any mention of suicidal thoughts or self-harm gets censored to ribbons. The forum makes a big deal of being a safe haven, but it seems to be a safe haven which is operated solely for the benefit of the regulars. In a nutshell, somebody who went over there with the rigid thinking styles of autism would soon find themselves being tutted at by the clucking hens who basically run the forum.

Ironically enough, I got a deeply unpleasant and threatening email from one of the mods there recently. She's unhinged. Yet publicly, on the forum, she's all hugs and nicey-wicey-ness. To clarify, I got this email in response to sticking up for a friend of mine. I was being relatively polite about it as well; well, politer than to goldfish21 at any rate.... >_>.

On a much, much, much more tragic note, I also know two people who committed suicide. I wasn't close friends with either; I only 'knew' them through the internet, but one of them I'd known for 8 years at least. The thing is, they weren't depressive, negative types. To the contrary: their posts were positive and upbeat in nature. God only knows what they were going through in private. Obviously not every positive person is secretly suicidal; I'm sure the vast majority aren't. But it's still shocking to me what people can hide when they really don't want others to know their pain.

Surely, there's something that brings happiness / joy to you.... What do you like to do? Do you like to read, watch TV / movies, research / gather information, cosplay----ANYTHING, that makes you happy you're doing it?

As for me, I'm pretty enthusiastic / positive. I just don't go around "showing" everybody cuz people don't like that cuz everybody's hurting, it seems like, nowadays. I just know it doesn't do me any good being down-in-the-dumps, even when I have reason to be.

Dingdingding!! ! And corvuscorax wins the kewpie doll...

Those people are almost always hiding something.

Generally, the thing they are hiding is depression. And the person they are hiding it from is EVERYONE, but most especially themselves.

I like to think of myself as optimistically pessimistic. As in, things could always be worse! But I'm more of a realist. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows and if people find joy in just being alive, that's ret for them but they shouldn't expect others to. I often enjoy depressing things, which people find strange because they'd think it makes me more depressed instead of helping me. Ivehad people tell me I need to listen to happy, upbeat music, or watch happy comedies, but I can't stand them. In my short stories, people die. There isn't always a happy ending (more often than not it isn't a happy ending). People need to die eventually, after all.
But yet, people have a problem with what I enjoy.

Sometimes what those overly positive people are hiding is just plain meanness. I have known a few like that. They are super nicey-nice while other people are watching. But the minute their audience is gone the nastiness comes out.

^ I see that more often than the hiding depression stuff. They have no empathy and try to pretend that negative things don't exist to hide the fact that they can't/won't empathize. If you make them face their cognitive dissonance, they'll eat you alive.

Last edited by metaldanielle on 16 Oct 2014, 7:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

One of the reasons I like cartoons is they mock overly positive people sometimes. A character I know like this is Dr. Hutchinson from Rocko's Modern Life.

Yep, exactly.

Overly optimistic people really get on my nerve. No matter how good a mood I am in, they can kill it. The only thing I like about Pollyanna is her name!
I don't care whether or not their demeanor is real, I can't stand it either way. Although it's easier to ignore when I know it's just a facade.

It's a complete fabrication. It shows the power and illusion of the human imagination.

No, I am like you.
Reality isn't designed to give everyone constant euphoria. It just is what it is.

To me, being super optimistic just seems unrealistic and illogical, and I am very annoyed by illogical people. I'm not saying it's better to be negative, I think they are both equally bad. It is better to be realistic. But some people who have an easier time in life don't seem to be able to comprehend what it is like to be truly depressed, they think it's all because of a choice of attitude.

I am optimistic and positive.
I am enthusiastic about many things I do, and I show it too, as it comes out without me doing anything on purpose.

Pessimism- You're either right or you're happy.

Optimism- You're either right, or you're disappointed.


This topic reminds me of the song Vital Vessel Vindicate by The Dear Hunter. There's a line that goes:

Goodbye, my eyes shed heavy tears
One for every soul still sitting on the fence between pain and arrogance

I like doing certain things but I don't get joy out of them. I don't see how you get happiness from reading a book or watching a movie. They're more like an escape from reality. It's enjoyment (entertainment, diversion) not joy.
I've asked people what happiness feels like and they've said things like, "It's a lightness in your heart", "bubbly feeling", "like you don't have a care in the world". That's what I'm talking about when I say 'happiness'. I never feel like that. Maybe the term 'happiness' has become too generalised.