If you know ur regarded 2b"weird", why dont change

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kiwiya
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22 Oct 2014, 9:57 am

Sorry if my question is offensive, but as a NT who is interested in autism, I am a little puzzled.

At first, I thought people with autism didn't know they have problems in communication. But as I log on this forum, I found out that: wow, these are supersuper normal, rational and logistic people!

So if you guys know you are "weird", why dont you try to act "normally"?



kraftiekortie
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22 Oct 2014, 10:04 am

I think you bring up somewhat of a valid question.

However, I think you should really research this site, other autism sites, the autism research, etc., so you'll understand autism better.

It's not simply a matter of "willpower."

Anyway: as long as you don't harm anybody, or harm yourself, why shouldn't one be allowed to be "weird?"



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 22 Oct 2014, 10:07 am, edited 2 times in total.

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22 Oct 2014, 10:06 am

That is like saying if someone has the flu, why not pretend you don't have the flu; it will then just go away.



glider18
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22 Oct 2014, 10:24 am

Trying to act "normally"? What is normal anyway?

For me, being normal is being who "I" am and not what someone else is. I function best when I am "me" and not putting on an "act" to be what I am not. If I were to act "normal," then I would not be showing those around me the true me.


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kraftiekortie
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22 Oct 2014, 10:29 am

Hey Glider, I used to be into the Professional Bowler's Tour, too.

I only attained about a 130 average maximum, though.



sharkattack
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22 Oct 2014, 10:31 am

kiwiya wrote:
Sorry if my question is offensive, but as a NT who is interested in autism, I am a little puzzled.

At first, I thought people with autism didn't know they have problems in communication. But as I log on this forum, I found out that: wow, these are supersuper normal, rational and logistic people!

So if you guys know you are "weird", why dont you try to act "normally"?


I have Aspergers also known as high functioning Autism.

Sensory overload is behind a lot of our problems for us the world is too bright too load and too fast this because our brains don't filter out irrelevant se sensory input like NTs.

We have to hyper focus on things we do and we find it difficult to multask.
I can listen to what you are saying for example but I may miss your body language or tone.

In return because we have missed all this information we never learn how to emulate NT behaviour body language tone of voice.

So called experts say we don't understand sarcasm but I understand it just fine I just have a hard time telling when some people are being sarcastic.

I engage in sarcasm myself but a lot of people have mistaken this for me being serious over the years because I deliver it in a dead pan way with no body language and a flat tone with a flat expression on my face.

That is why we are mistaken for being rude or odd.

So called experts say we lack empathy but I call bull on this one too.
I have yet to meet an NT would can understand the point of view of an autistic mind.

As regards people with autism who have more difficulties I still find they understand people with Aspergers better then NT people.

As regards acting normal here is our problem in a conversation for example.
All out attention is taken up on taken in what the other person is saying and what our reply will be.
Our minds do not take in the other person's body language tone of voice or expression.

Now all of the above is not black and white but you get the idea and on top of all that we have to think about our expression tone of voice and body language.

Your question is not offensive but it is exasperating as how can we explain anything so complex to NTs when they just get hung up on something we are missing in the non verbal sense instead of listening to what we are saying.

I would be genuinely interested in you reply as you did take the effort to ask the question a rare thing for an NT. :)



sharkattack
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22 Oct 2014, 10:35 am

By way sorry for any spelling errors I did notice them but I typed this out on a tablet and it's too much of a hassle to fix.



kraftiekortie
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22 Oct 2014, 10:38 am

Don't worry about it, Shark. Even if you lose teeth, you'll always grow new ones!

I suck at tablet typing myself.



League_Girl
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22 Oct 2014, 10:38 am

kiwiya wrote:
Sorry if my question is offensive, but as a NT who is interested in autism, I am a little puzzled.

At first, I thought people with autism didn't know they have problems in communication. But as I log on this forum, I found out that: wow, these are supersuper normal, rational and logistic people!

So if you guys know you are "weird", why dont you try to act "normally"?



Because no one wants to change, it's human nature. We all want to be accepted and we only change if we want to. If what we are doing is harmless, why change it?


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kraftiekortie
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22 Oct 2014, 10:40 am

Absotootly, League Girl!



sharkattack
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22 Oct 2014, 10:46 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Don't worry about it, Shark. Even if you lose teeth, you'll always grow new ones!

I suck at tablet typing myself.


I have an Imac in another room but I have just finished work and I am stretched out on a sofa with my tablet.

Tablets will never be a replacement for a good desktop computer but they are handy.



r84shi37
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22 Oct 2014, 10:53 am

kiwiya wrote:
Sorry if my question is offensive, but as a NT who is interested in autism, I am a little puzzled.

At first, I thought people with autism didn't know they have problems in communication. But as I log on this forum, I found out that: wow, these are supersuper normal, rational and logistic people!

So if you guys know you are "weird", why dont you try to act "normally"?



Don't worry. You're question isn't offensive.

I think that for the most part just about every aspie knows they are different. The thing is that appearing normal for you is effortless. To appear normal for an aspie can be very difficult. For instance, you probably look people in the eye without even trying. Many(most?) aspies have to consciously force themselves to look others in the eye and even when they do it is very uncomfortable. Now lets use special interests (obessions) as an example. I'm sure that you like doing specific things that most other people aren't as interested in and don't enjoy as much. But most NTs won't be kept up for hours at night thinking about it. If I'm absorbed in something and one of my parents calls me to go to the store or do a chore I feel intense frustration because I want to keep working on my project. I force myself to leave the project and appear content with it... but on the inside I'm frustrated. It takes effort to not go back to it right when I get the chance. So yes, we can act... but it's not easy to do.

In a nutshell: Acting normal is easier said than done.


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cberg
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22 Oct 2014, 11:08 am

My weirdness to me is the conscious process of applying myself to society rather than society to myself - I live weirdly because for me it's the path of least resistance, I believe could articulate the origins of my bizarre existence in person, though online I'm not sure I could find the right terminology.


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cberg
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22 Oct 2014, 11:15 am

glider18 wrote:
Trying to act "normally"? What is normal anyway?

For me, being normal is being who "I" am and not what someone else is. I function best when I am "me" and not putting on an "act" to be what I am not. If I were to act "normal," then I would not be showing those around me the true me.


I believe the mind processes the immediate, and the aspie mind reacts tangentially whereas the NT mind reacts according to the construct of its' owners society(s). I for one feel more compelled to calculate than to react.


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indy5
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22 Oct 2014, 11:17 am

Me trying to act "normal" is nothing like my real personality ... and by the end of the day I'm exhausted

It's much more relaxing to just be myself, and not over-analyze (or over-compensate) in every single social situation



MadHatterMatador
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22 Oct 2014, 11:19 am

kiwiya wrote:
Sorry if my question is offensive, but as a NT who is interested in autism, I am a little puzzled.

At first, I thought people with autism didn't know they have problems in communication. But as I log on this forum, I found out that: wow, these are supersuper normal, rational and logistic people!

So if you guys know you are "weird", why dont you try to act "normally"?


I knew I was perceived as weird for a long time, but I didn't really understand the magnitude of what I was doing, or what I could do to fix it, until recently. I think a lot of the people on here are those who have learned to deal with what they have. I don't know if it's entirely representative of the Aspie population. As far as changing, it's a lot harder than you might think. You have to be constantly thinking of what you should be doing in a particular moment, and your guesses aren't necessarily going to be right.


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Last edited by MadHatterMatador on 22 Oct 2014, 11:27 am, edited 1 time in total.