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nca14
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28 Oct 2014, 12:41 pm

I sometimes feel like a "mentally handicapped" person. It is somewhat humilitating. My mother said that (someone said?) I was like a child from "kindergarten" when I was 22. One person, who has very mild AS for me (has "aucorigia" - autocontrast and originality, is a visual thinker and had better grades than me in secondary school), is younger than me, but higher functioning, wrote that I am similar to a little boy. I think that I am childish. I have many physical and existential fears.

I do not have "atypical autism", but F84.5. It would probably be named as having NLD is North America, but it is definately a pervasive developmental disability which is misnamed. I think that I may have a mild form of McDD due to emotional anomalies, bizarre thinking and suspected "concentration deficit disorder". I am "unsuitable to world", socially inept and obsessive. I am a bookish example of a "nerd" (I have much intelleigence, social ineptitude and obsessiveness), a "real" one - "severe" "nerds" have a mild pervasive developmental disorder. My parents are irritated by me quite easily. I do not want to be irritating.

I think that diagnosis of a PDD (F84.5) may help me in secondary school very much. I had a "crisis", my obsessiveness were really strong at some moment and my grades were sometimes extremely poor. After the diagnosis of F84.5, I got extra lessons and wrote the exam perfectly!

Now I have some difficulties in the studies. The projects are quite complicated. I have tendencies to procrastrination. I like to note, I like to attend to the lectures, but do not like projects. They require much time. I have some problems with computers.

Social NLDers, you have PDD, "soft" autism and are Aspies :) It is not something to be ashamed of it. It is not a choice. Better not to have such a problems. I have some perinatal problems (such as low birth weight combined with relatively long body length - below 5th centile). Other members of my family also may have some mental disorders, especially mother and sister. I think that they should be tested.

Sometimes I stimmed "wildly" (when I was alone). There is agitation, walking without purpose. It is quite "pleasant". There may be a need to run, jump. There may be walking in the circles. There may be also "stupid" sounds and talking to myself. Also different atypical hand movements (such as flapping, clapping) and other symptoms. It looks really autistic. Sometimes it was really loud. Non-PDDers do not behave in such a way. I am an Aspie :) But not a Kanneric one :)



redrobin62
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28 Oct 2014, 12:58 pm

I'm not childlike but I'd agree that I'm stuck on 35. I don't think or behave like other adults my age. I still fool around, make jokes, listen to metal a lot, etc. I have no kids, no mortgage, no 401(k) plan or retirement fund. I'm not saying that everything is a joke to me, it's just that I don't feel as serious as others.



Campin_Cat
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28 Oct 2014, 2:32 pm

I don't feel like a child, anymore. I can remember being in my thirties and thinking of myself as not a grown-up, yet. I'm thinking, maybe, when I went-through Menopause is when I stopped feeling young. (I know I'm the age of someone just STARTING Menopause, but for some reason, I've already completed it.)

I DO, however, still do childish things. I found a little fairy on the bus, last year, that I totally LOVE and I've often wanted to figure-out a way to hang her around my neck, when I go out----I've never been able to, though, and it's probably best that I DON'T take her with me, as I would risk losing her. I love, love, LOVE to color, and got a Disney Princesses coloring book last year, that I had to slow-down from coloring every page, so as to savor it as I can't get another one, right now. If I could, I'd go back and buy the EXACT same one, and just start all over, again. I love cartoons----especially Disney. I also love the Disney live-action ones, as well. I still read Nancy Drew, have plushies and dolls, and like to play with my train set, etc. When I want to learn anything new, I get a children's book, from the library, to learn it. I still love to play games, and cards, etc.





senecafox
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28 Oct 2014, 2:44 pm

I don't feel like I'm that childish. I'm interested in important issues. I don't like kids shows and never really have. I agree with someone who said they couldn't pay attention to them. Me either. They're boring to me. I was watching adult movies as a young child.
I am small and look younger than I am. People constantly think I'm 18-20 years old but I'm 28. My boss at work is around 38 and made a comment about how she could be my mother. I don't bother telling them because I think there must be something about me that makes people think I'm younger and I don't know what it is but I don't see it as being a good thing.
I am childlike in some ways that I enjoy activities I enjoyed when I was younger- like I loveeee dressing up for Halloween and putting a lot of effort into it, I like making movies just for fun, I like playing board games a lot, doing different things like going Christmas carolling.... I don't see this as being childlike but more as being fun. Some people in a desperate attempt to be "mature" actually become "boring".


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28 Oct 2014, 3:44 pm

I see myself as more mature than others my age in some respects, but more childish than a young child in others. For example, when I see other teens my age doing stupid stuff because everyone else is doing it I'm just like "grow up". I tend to think quite cynically sometimes.

On the other hand I do not feel safe staying at home alone. I have plush toys. I still like to reflect on my childhood by watching my nostalgic favourites from time to time. I still kinda like some of the things I used to like as a little kid now.


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skibum
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28 Oct 2014, 3:47 pm

Campin_Cat wrote:
I don't feel like a child, anymore. I can remember being in my thirties and thinking of myself as not a grown-up, yet. I'm thinking, maybe, when I went-through Menopause is when I stopped feeling young. (I know I'm the age of someone just STARTING Menopause, but for some reason, I've already completed it.)

I DO, however, still do childish things. I found a little fairy on the bus, last year, that I totally LOVE and I've often wanted to figure-out a way to hang her around my neck, when I go out----I've never been able to, though, and it's probably best that I DON'T take her with me, as I would risk losing her. I love, love, LOVE to color, and got a Disney Princesses coloring book last year, that I had to slow-down from coloring every page, so as to savor it as I can't get another one, right now. If I could, I'd go back and buy the EXACT same one, and just start all over, again. I love cartoons----especially Disney. I also love the Disney live-action ones, as well. I still read Nancy Drew, have plushies and dolls, and like to play with my train set, etc. When I want to learn anything new, I get a children's book, from the library, to learn it. I still love to play games, and cards, etc.



I xerox copy the pages of my special coloring books so that I can color the same pictures over and over again. And that way I can share my favorite pictures too.


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Campin_Cat
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28 Oct 2014, 6:49 pm

skibum wrote:
Campin_Cat wrote:
I love, love, LOVE to color, and got a Disney Princesses coloring book last year, that I had to slow-down from coloring every page, so as to savor it as I can't get another one, right now. If I could, I'd go back and buy the EXACT same one, and just start all over, again.



I xerox copy the pages of my special coloring books so that I can color the same pictures over and over again. And that way I can share my favorite pictures too.



Good grief!! ! Why didn't I think of that!! ! I do that with my crossword puzzles, because I can't always afford to buy new books, and if I don't have them with me when I ride on the bus, or have to wait in a waiting room, I get a little crazy!!

How have you been, skibum? It's so nice to see you----I've missed reading your posts! I thought maybe you had already gone camping?





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28 Oct 2014, 11:00 pm

Campin_Cat wrote:
Good grief!! ! Why didn't I think of that!! ! I do that with my crossword puzzles, because I can't always afford to buy new books, and if I don't have them with me when I ride on the bus, or have to wait in a waiting room, I get a little crazy!!

:D yep, i also do like crosswords and those kinds of games...when i can figure them out!

i also just need SOMETHING to do in waiting rooms too. when there are no old magazines to skim through, i take my pen (i bring one everywhere) and any blank paper and scrawl random words and phrases that pop into my head or are catchy to me. i have two made up writing systems i use for conlangs soon to be developed.

people ask "what are you writing" "arabic?"


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mrsjacks
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29 Oct 2014, 12:39 am

About some things. I become absolutely giddy about Hello Kitty. With that said, most of the times I've been accused of being "childish" is in regard to my reaction to things. I've been told that the fact I cry easily is "childish".



nca14
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29 Oct 2014, 1:46 pm

I can feel like a child... I do not think about dult life so much. I have "obsessive" interests. My fears are often physical or existential. I do not worry about my job in the future. Many things which I do "have to" be a "play" for me. I like writing, going to the school is a "good" routine. But I do not like complex tasks in school. I may be really immature emotionally. I may have a mild NLD, but I was very good in Maths on the exam at the end of the secondary school and like maps and colors. I am socially inept. I have marked dyssemia, typical nonverbal communication may be "unnatural" for me. I have a mixture of traits of many conditions, such as NT giftedness, NLD, AS, McDD... Only NT is good. Other give problems, ineptitude or weirdness. I am a really good example of a "nerd", not "mentally healthy" one, but developmentally "aucorigic". How to stop be a "nut"? I am very interested in people who are similar to me. They are fascinating. They may be my next "obsessions". I did many stupid things as a child. I "loved" some girls and was aggressive for them because they did not want me. I behaved like a "kook".



ImAnAspie
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29 Oct 2014, 4:08 pm

This is not so much about being childish/childlike but when this thread cools down, it would be interesting to get a final result to see how many do compared to how many don't. It would also be interesting to hear from NTs to see if it's just us or if they feel the same.


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Last edited by ImAnAspie on 30 Oct 2014, 12:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

skibum
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29 Oct 2014, 6:44 pm

ImAnAspie wrote:
This is not so much about being childish/childlike but when this thread colds down, it would be interesting to get a final result to see how many do compared to how many don't. It would also be interesting to hear from NTs to see if it's just us or if they feel the same.
I wonder about that too because I know NTs who have a very child like side in a sense that they like to just have fun and they don't want to be as responsible as they need to be. But I often explain to them the the difference between what I go through as an "adult child" and what they go through is that they just enjoy the idea of goofing off. I actually process things at a younger age level. My emotional processing and even some of my mental processing is literally younger. It's not that I just like fun things, I can't process certain things in a way that I should be able to according to what the emotional and mental level of my chronological age should be. Certain things, I actually understand and mentally and emotionally work through at the level of a 4 to 12 year old.

My husband and brother love to be able to goof off and enjoy lack of responsibility whenever they can and they even like playing childish games with me and other kids. But when they are confronted with an emotionally charged situation or certain kinds of complex mental or executive functioning tasks, they respond at an emotional or mental processing level that is in accordance to their chronological ages where I can't.


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wisenupjanetweiss
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30 Oct 2014, 12:04 am

I don't act my age, regardless (17, 18 in February). I don't act like a teenager/young adult.

I am usually mistaken for someone who is in their mid twenties because of my maturity, and when online, people have a hard time placing my age. (Usually estimated from 20-30s)

However, I also have very childlike interests, I still own (and even actively purchase) toys- especially ones that give me something to "fidget" with (See: silly putty, play doh, kinetic sand, etc.)- I watch children's programming quite a bit, I sleep with a blanket and stuffed animal from my childhood, I collect stuffed animals, etc.

I will get excited over things that most people my age would gawk over as being "little kid stuff". For instance, there was a rope bridge at an aquarium I recently visited, and I got extremely excited about it.

No one within five years of my age got on. In fact, I'd put the number closer to ten. It was fairly embarrassing, in retrospect.

I also tend to...Sort of...See? Myself as a kid? I don't know how to explain it- it's like I don't picture myself as an adult when I think of myself. I'm just a large kid of an indeterminate age. Occasionally, I'll acknowledge "adult" things I have done (and occasionally get randomly scared or repulsed by them, almost ashamed, like I should "wait until I'm older"), such as smoking/drinking/etc., sexual encounters, going to work, etc. and be entirely conscious of the fact that I'm not a young child, but I still intrinsically *feel* like one most of the time.

Either that, or I'll have a hard time believing that I was only born 18 years ago- like I'm missing a decade of my life or something. It's strange.



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30 Oct 2014, 12:31 am

Not intellectually, but in most other ways, yes.



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30 Oct 2014, 2:19 am

In a word, yes. I'm dressing up as the X-Men's Wolverine for Halloween this year, and going trick-or-treating with my 15-year-old autistic neighbour because my little sister is at a Halloween party and won't go with me. My original plan was to go with my mom.

I have stuffed animals all over my room, and six special ones that live on my bed who I rotate out sleeping with, along with my blue "Linus" blanket. I still talk to them and treat them like they're alive with personalities, and really struggle with getting new ones in case the old ones feel left out.

I love cartoons like Peanuts and MLP (Fluttershy's my favourite :)) as well as things like Rugrats, Mr. Rogers' Neighbourhood, and (not for a while now, but) Barney; I always loved Baby Bop and her yellow blankie. I also still love childrens' books like Andrew Clements and Beverly Cleary, as well as the X-Men comics.

Everyone I meet, including my coworkers, talk about how I'm "cute", "adorable", "innocent". I was bouncing up and down talking about my Halloween party to my boss and my boss's boss last week, and she said, "I love how excited she gets." I will skip around and stim with excitement even at work, and am not afraid to show my exuberance.

I'm still afraid of the dark and sleep with a lava lamp on, and I'm always afraid when I go to bed (on the top bunk of a bunk bed) that something is going to reach out and grab my leg as I climb up. I also have yet to break my thumb-sucking habit (though I blame my mother for that one: she didn't quit until she was 12/13 and it must be genetic!)

Reading over this, it's actually quite embarassing that I should still be acting this way at 21, but given the number of responses here, I suppose it's just another trait unique to autism. About the only part of me that isn't stuck in "little kid" mode is my intellectual capacity and use of language.


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30 Oct 2014, 2:33 am

wisenupjanetweiss wrote:
Either that, or I'll have a hard time believing that I was only born 18 years ago- like I'm missing a decade of my life or something. It's strange.


This. My teacher was saying yesterday about something happening "25 years ago". My first instinct was, "Gee, so, like 1960's era", but after I'd had a minute to think about it, I realised it was only four years before I was born, and that freaked me out a little.


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Rediagnosed with ASD level 2 on the 4th of May, 2019
Thanks to Olympiadis for my fantastic avatar!