Has anyone else been in a secure unit / PICU?

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By PICU I mean psychiatric intensive care unit. I know that in other countries there will be different systems / names.

I've been in a PICU several times for severe challenging behaviour that gets worse during psychotic episodes. My challenging behaviour is currently somewhat managed by medication, but it has got really bad before in response to severe stress.

I was sent there for attacking nurses on a regular psych ward, and also constantly attacking myself too. I got to the point that I was covered in bruises and had blood on my face, and despite being on 1:1 nursing on the general ward, they couldn't handle me. I was put on 2:1 nursing for two weeks last time I was in the PICU.

Has anyone else been in one? What did you think of the place?

I was on a locked psychiatric ward once, for 3 days.

It was one of the most horrible experiences of my entire life.

How I got there is a long story and I don't even know parts of it (I didn't understand why I was there, at the time, and nobody ever told me so all I have is guesswork).

I left wondering if the locked ward was just jail for the mentally ill, and wondering how the hell anybody was supposed to get better in a place like that.

I was on a locked ward, but it wasn't the PICU and we were on five-minute checks, not 1:1. It was bad enough, though. Boring, and you were treated like you had absolutely no credibility--like you were incapable of any kind of rational thought, that the nurses were automatically right about you and you were automatically wrong unless you agreed with them. And they would come after you with the Haldol if you had a meltdown.

I don't think you're really supposed to get better in places like that. It just doesn't happen. You just stay until you're stable enough to figure out the system and convince them you're sane. Then when you get home, to a comfortable place with privacy, you can actually start getting better.

I don't recommend psych wards to anyone who's not in immediate danger. They're not places where you get better; they're places where you get watched closely and hopefully kept alive if you're suicidal or so confused you can't care for yourself. Other than those situations, stay the heck out of mental wards if you can help it; they're not good places to be.

I've never been in a psych ward.

I didn't go to hospital voluntarily at all really. All of the times I went were either because they said "if you don't stay we'll section you" or because I was actually under section. And in the secure unit, you can only be admitted under section, at least that's true here in England. Last time I was put in a secure unit it was via Section 136, five police officers, a police van and an ambulance. Because every time someone would come near me, I'd scream and kick them. They put me in handcuffs but I managed to get the leg restraints off with my teeth. That was when I was very ill. I've been taken to A&E by the police for massive public meltdowns before but normally the staff at A&E discharge me once they've given me lorazepam and seen on my records that I'm autistic.

Now I take my meds religiously and I rely a lot on support workers. I just don't want another public scene and I don't want another relapse.

Police here just don't understand autism.