I can easily detect a male Aspie but not a female Aspie

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Joe90
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18 Nov 2014, 3:33 pm

I don't think I have ever guessed Asperger's in a female, but every male I have met on the spectrum, I just know that they have an ASD, even if they are only mild and quite social.

I volunteer somewhere with this girl who I'm not sure has Asperger's or not. She seems to get very anxious over things I would get anxious about, has an obsession with Japanese (she talks about it an awful lot even though I don't have the slightest bit of interest in Japanese but I listen to her anyway), and seems socially awkward and find it hard to follow conversations, and was bullied and rejected by other kids through school. But I still can't be sure. And I know another girl who is similar; all she talks about is horses and she gets really anxious and quite socially awkward, but I still can't tell if she has an ASD or not.

But there has been a boy at work who had an obsession with trains, spoke in monotone, didn't make eye contact, needed things explained to him in concrete, and said he got Disability Living Allowance too. He didn't last too long at work though because he kept getting overwhelmed and couldn't cope. But he wasn't as shy as me, but I still just knew he was on the spectrum.

But anyway I'm not going to gabble away listing people's traits, but I can tell you that I always seem to notice ASDs in male Aspies more than female Aspies. It seems female Aspies (mild Aspies) seem to know how to hide their condition or something. Same with me, I can too. I wonder why this is?


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DevilKisses
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18 Nov 2014, 3:58 pm

I sometimes notice it in females, but often times I don't. I went to this group for girls with aspergers and a lot of the girls there were normal looking, but extremely shy.


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Norny
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18 Nov 2014, 4:33 pm

I am the same.

I find it a lot easier to distinguish symptoms of AS from what is normal (or another condition) in males rather than in females. Commonalities with individuals I have met in real life include sensory issues (which do not seem to be as prominent outside this forum), and difficulty with social interaction. I can't enter their brain nor expect to have insight into their real experience, but I do at times fill with doubt as to whether or not they have been diagnosed correctly. I know that I am most likely wrong (and would get blasted for confronting them), but the doubt can't be scraped from my mind.

The general pattern I have observed is that males with AS tend to be more rigid - that is they seem to have restricted/narrow interests far more often than females, and display reduced adaptability through resistance to change and lowered ability to cope with many more social situations. I struggle to differentiate a typical obsession (such as one with video games or reading) from an autistic special interest in many of the more mild AS cases, and especially in females, because they are so outwardly similar.

My observations are that the further you stray from the AS/HFA end of the spectrum, the more the presentations appear to closely resemble each other.

There really needs to be more research conducted into how AS presents itself in females specifically. I feel as if there is a gigantic gap in my understanding because of this.

EDIT - I have long wondered how the different presentations may affect homosexual (of either sex) individuals.


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quaker
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18 Nov 2014, 4:46 pm

It's the opposite with me.

Women for me in the spectrum stick out much more. I think it's because most NT women are less anal in mannerisms and as a rule females in the spectrum stick out more for me.

Consequently, I find the early socialisation theory with respect to females in the spectrum doesn't make sense to me. This is my experience.



BeggingTurtle
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18 Nov 2014, 10:31 pm

I have suspicions, but of the autistic people I've met, the symptoms are definitely noticeable in both male and female. However, most of the autistic girls I know are Aspies; I only know 1 girl with classic autism. Guys, most of the time, have high functioning autism. I have one friend with HFA and 1 Aspie guy.

But these are just my experiences.


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Deb1970
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18 Nov 2014, 11:41 pm

quaker wrote:
It's the opposite with me.

Women for me in the spectrum stick out much more. I think it's because most NT women are less anal in mannerisms and as a rule females in the spectrum stick out more for me.

Consequently, I find the early socialisation theory with respect to females in the spectrum doesn't make sense to me. This is my experience.



I'm female and have autism and I'm not anal about mannerisms. In fact I don't understand the concept of most mannerisms. Why should I excuse myself for sneezing? I did nothing wrong and it is completely natural to sneeze and I should not excuse myself because it happened.


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quaker
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19 Nov 2014, 2:10 am

Hi Deb

Your sneezing is most welcome in my company. Come as you are and not as your not.



Edna3362
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19 Nov 2014, 11:40 am

I don't get female mannerisms either. It's not like my own gait would break someone else's back. Or sneezing would kill them (unless a virus IS involved, but then, I kept sneezing most at the time ... for the last 15 years straight that is, and almost not a single day without sneezing at all!! It's goddamned annoying!! I would rather give up half of my IQ than having this 'allergy' or whatever reason making me sneeze continuously at most of my lifetime!! I can't "get over it" but this one is off topic.........)



Anyways, I don't know if I really never encountered any aspies at all; or really just cannot detect them. And as an aspie female, currently, I haven't done well in 'faking it' yet. And for now, I can't 'hide'. I still stick out (that is, from some NT's eyes that is).


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nyxjord
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19 Nov 2014, 12:21 pm

I guess since I live in the middle of nowhere and am the only Aspie that I have ever met in real life, I don't know what to look for in either gender and wouldn't know one unless the fact was pointed out to me or confided in me. I'm weird, I don't generally tend to attract either guys or girls or either the NT or AS spectrums. Generally, it's the socially awkward douche's that seem to be interested in me. :cry:


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eggheadjr
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19 Nov 2014, 12:44 pm

Yah - my "A-Dar" is pretty good at picking out aspie guys but rarely do I pick up on aspie girls. I just put it down to I know what I'm like and can see it when other guys are like me - but aspieness in girls comes out different...


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MadHatterMatador
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20 Nov 2014, 1:32 am

I think it's because men are expected to act a certain way, so it's more noticeable when they don't. It is more socially acceptable for women to be a little more eccentric, or say off color things, and so NT women know that they can. What's more likely to get your attention: a grown man having a meltdown in public, or a grown woman?


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