Can you tell the difference between teasing and an insult?

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Transyl
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18 Nov 2014, 7:54 pm

I've been wondering if I take people's words as more negative than they really are... maybe it's just harmless teasing... but it always seem like a condescending personal attack. Are you able to tell the difference between the two?

I can't. :(



Sylvastor
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18 Nov 2014, 7:55 pm

I admit I have a hard time telling the difference - still.

But one thing is certain: exaggerated emotions while getting "insulted" usually is a sign of teasing.

Furthermore, if you know that person is usually nice to you and not one to betray you or mentally backstab you in another way by spreading rumors and alike and this insult is very situational (eventually also with the exaggerated emotions, a smile, amused laugh or similar), then you can assume this is just some friendly, playful teasing. If there is some exaggerated nitpicking on trivial stuff of which you know that nobody would take the time to criticize because it is just not worth it or just silly and if you can recognize the aforementioned signs of exaggeration or know that the person is usually friendly towards you, then it could be likely teasing and joking around as well.


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Last edited by Sylvastor on 18 Nov 2014, 7:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

nick007
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18 Nov 2014, 7:58 pm

As a kid I got in trouble for accusing other kids of teasing me because according to the teachers they were only playing/joking. I also got in trouble for teasing others when I was joking/playing.


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18 Nov 2014, 8:00 pm

I have a lot of trouble telling the difference. Sometimes it catches me off guard so it takes me a second to figure out what the heck the person is talking about.

I think sometimes people make it ambiguous on purpose. They try to make it sound like they are teasing but they are actually mad about something and trying to let you know in an indirect way.



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18 Nov 2014, 8:03 pm

it happens to me with joking and bullying, anyway if its hurting you, you should tell them to stop.



IAmTheCatalyst
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18 Nov 2014, 8:53 pm

Not at all. I was bullied quite badly throughout my entire time in school. It wasn't until I was around 10 or 11 years old that I even realized I was getting bullied. I thought people were being serious or making up funny names because they thought it was "cool". I actually still like the nickname "vampire girl" that I got while being bullied for my teeth and odd interests in elementary. :) The times I got bullied to the point of meltdown as a child I just thought they were mad at me for some unknown reason. As an older teen, I never knew if people were being serious or if they were making fun of me unless I could hear laughter in the distance from their "group". I would then know that they were bullying me.


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blackcat
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18 Nov 2014, 9:14 pm

Admittedly, I cannot tell. I mostly base my reaction on who says the thing and how that person generally treats me. If we have a pretty good relationship, I assume it is playful teasing. If we don't...I grin and bear it and try to appear unphased because...well, I don really know unless what they are saying is very obviously and intentionally insulting. The problem is...whether they are trying to hurt me or not, when I react poorly I am given the same tired bs responses ( wow, can't you take a joke?/ I was just kidding/playing with/teasing you.).


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18 Nov 2014, 9:19 pm

I have a very hard time to make the difference, it's nearly even impossible. I can't even keep count of the numbers of times I'll have a violent reaction to that and then people would answer stuff like "Jeez we are just joking!!" or "Calm down, it's just a little tease"


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yournamehere
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18 Nov 2014, 9:54 pm

Not really. If it doesn't make me smile, I usually think it's serious. People can take that whole constructive criticism thing and cram it too.



andrethemoogle
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18 Nov 2014, 10:04 pm

I can't honestly, since I cannot read faces or pick up on sarcasm.



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18 Nov 2014, 10:14 pm

Don't have AS and even I can't at times.

It's universal that if you don't know somebody well, you will assume that they're insulting you - what is commonly referred to as 'being rude'.


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18 Nov 2014, 10:21 pm

No. Still horrible at it. But I know when people are uncomfortable about it.


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18 Nov 2014, 10:23 pm

"Familiarity," especially of a friendly nature, is one of the main factors which transforms what is, at first glance-superficially, an insult, into "teasing."



MadHatterMatador
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18 Nov 2014, 10:51 pm

I can tell when it's happening to someone else. When it's me, I'm completely lost, so I always just assume it's insulting.


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18 Nov 2014, 11:19 pm

There are certain people in my family that just talk, and I think it's insulting.