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einsteinmyhero
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10 Dec 2015, 9:42 am

I am in puberty, and my friend has moved recently. My parents are pushing responsibilities a lot that I can not handle yet, and they don't care when I explain. I have become more prone to;meltdowns,pacing( A LOT), stimming more, hand flapping,muttering to myself, repeating words over and over again,staring blankly,being rude on accident, and my already bad capabilities at organizing and cleaning have become even worse. This is after a 1 and a 1/2 period of no issues other than my depression(which is now controlled with medication). I have also been misspelling a lot more( I had to use autocorrect about seven times writing this.)


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10 Dec 2015, 9:58 am

What sort of responsibilities do they push onto you?


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einsteinmyhero
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10 Dec 2015, 10:03 am

lots more physical work and being able to remember to do everything(I forget chores easily. I need reminders sometimes). Also expecting me to be more social and as my dad puts "not weird", or "normal".


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Ettina
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10 Dec 2015, 10:04 am

Sounds like it's probably due to stress.

Have your parents noticed that you're having these issues? It might help them realize you're not ready for the new responsibilities yet.

I know autistic strengths and weaknesses can be counter-intuitive to NTs. We often struggle with things that NTs don't even realize are skills.

One thought is maybe your parents have realized you're getting closer to adulthood and are starting to worry about how you'll function as an adult, so they're trying to hurry up and get you as independent as possible before you hit 18. Especially since you were doing so well before, they may have forgotten that your functioning is still a lot more fragile than most 14 year olds. However, a better tactic would be to figure out sustainable work-arounds for your difficulties, instead of piling on so much work that you start breaking down from stress.



einsteinmyhero
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10 Dec 2015, 10:05 am

I try to explain it. They don't care. They don't understand my mind at all like they think they do.


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10 Dec 2015, 10:30 am

einsteinmyhero wrote:
lots more physical work and being able to remember to do everything(I forget chores easily. I need reminders sometimes). Also expecting me to be more social and as my dad puts "not weird", or "normal".


I see.

Well based on the teenagers I've observed, your response to the above was perfectly rational, and typical of young adults your age.

The only clearly Autistic sign here, is the method you're using to relieve stress "stimming", which in my opinion is a far better option than the "drugs or alcohol" used by other teenagers coping with the strain and pressures of adolescence.


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Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment, but the last step on the path to salvation.

Idealist wrote:
My Autism was cured/treated in late childhood (this makes me a walking, talking, contradiction to 90% of the Forum who all believe Autism is incurable)


einsteinmyhero
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10 Dec 2015, 1:29 pm

Well, there is the overall breakdown of capabilities though. But yet my mind has been sharper than ever. I think in an almost poetic way, and I contemplate things philosophically all the time. But yet I show these autistic symptoms quite a bit now. It probably is just stress though. How can I explain this to my parents?


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― Pyotr Kropotkin, Memoirs of a Revolutionist


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10 Dec 2015, 2:18 pm

I had to laugh when you mentioned the requirement of "acting normal" or "not weird." I already find myself saying this to my toddler son. "Please walk normal, we're in public." LOL.

Parents don't realize how something like this comes off. It's like saying "wipe your face." You will have to explain that telling you to "act normal" or "not weird" is like telling a black teenager to "please act white" or a female to "stop throwing like a girl." It's offensive because of the kind of person you are, which is a minority class person. They will just have to get used to speaking with more sensitivity.

The "worsening" actually seems normal to me. I do not study autistic children, but for autistic adults (which you are becoming) it is normal to appear more autistic when other things are going on. Right now you're going through puberty, which is like having a science experiment going on in your body. Plus, you're having a major growing stage, just like my toddler. When people's bodies are under a lot of stress, you don't have as much energy left over for extra stuff, like masking autistic behaviors that otherwise might be private (flapping) or correcting minor mistakes (spelling). Your body and mind are busy to capacity right now, so things like remembering and behaving as others desire are extra hard. All this will be easier, and even autopilot mode, as you get older.

My advice would be to correct your parents if they are directly offensive to you, and explain that autistic people are a minority-different, and will always be different. Try your best to do what's expected of you, but also make sure to find your own ways of coping. Give yourself breaks and allow yourself to do things that are soothing to you at various times throughout the day. The ways of coping you form now will help you for the rest of your life.