For the Aspies who can work and/or are highly educated

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In my area of science, I will say having AS did help in achieving the PhD. It also helps if you can discover some of your special talents and use them to push forward in your studies. However, having AS really does not help much on the job side of things. That is where being able to act as an NT becomes important.

The key difference is that Asperger people are able to pull it off. I don't mean to minimize your struggles but realize from my standpoint you may appear lucky. That may not be how you feel.

I have both a great job and a degree. But I am not a super genius or a socialite. My strength has been in just trying to be the best I can be and treating others with kindness (even when I want to smack them upside their head for saying and doing illogical things). When I can help out on something it is usually something I am very good at doing. I love to show others how to do it correctly so they will not ask me over and over how to do it. LOL.
They like that and it tends to keep me employed. And they know I will NOT take offense when they have their baby showers and such and are kind enough to not invite me.

Simply my intelligence got me through. And my fear of further abuse from people should they discover my oddballness. It has not helped with jobs. I've only lasted 2 years in each job. I am currently one year into my current job and my last review it was noted I have odd learning styles and coworkers find me a little weird.

Fantastic posting, there are so many insightful people willing to share their wisdom on this site.

All I can add is to find a subject and career that you enjoy. Competing with the high achievers will only make you miserable. Find your own path and take your time.

Burn out is a b***h.

I graduated undergrad with a 3.9 and am working on my JD at one of Harvard/Yale/Stanford. I studied communication in UG, which completely revolutionized my understanding of the NT world, allowing me to play their game. This helped a lot, and I've been able to pass as just a quirky NT. Even when my act slips, people will just write it off as being a law student.

Passing as NT was necessary, but played only a minor role in getting me to where I am. My hyperlogical autistic thinking makes academic work a breeze, and the LSAT was second nature for me. It's all about being critical, pedantic, and explicit. On balance, I think my autistic traits have helped my career more than they have hurt it.

I understand that some people on the autism spectrum have to change a whole lot of their behavior if they don't want to be picked out, so they might use the phrase, "passing for NT." I really feel for anyone who feels they have to do this, as it sounds exhausting and oppressive. I can't relate to it directly though.

For me it was more learning by floundering rather then careful observation and analysis. Neither me nor anybody else during my formative years could know I have theory of mind and body language reading issues, all we knew I was a different, a loner, painfully shy, another words my basic flaws was in my personality not that I have a different social skills set then 98 percent of everybody else. Without knowing what I did not have, what was there to learn?. I did something it worked or it did not. After a number of times doing the same thing and it not working maybe I learned, unintentional behavoir modification. Sometimes that is, because of bieng into repetative behavoirs I had a hard time doing anything about it.

Thanks for sharing, AsPartOfMe. That makes sense now, and it's true; it's hard to know what you don't know.

I never like to say that anyone has a flawed personality though, unless they really are a lousy person. It sounds so demeaning.

Hi slave,

What you say about the bell curves makes sense, and it sounds like the two curves intersect in certain situations. Maybe that's why finding the reasons behind social difficulties is not clear cut.

As for having to think through social situations consciously, I find myself doing that more often, not less. I know that's partly because I recently took a fun class on sales/business development and communication styles. To improve understanding, we had to try to pass as people of other communication styles different from our own, and match our style with that of a partner. I've also been learning about body language and what I'm missing out on due to my blindness, so I feel more self-conscious. I wonder what you would've thought of the class.

All this knowledge and practice is helpful, and yet, because I've learned a lot, I have to think about it in order to put it into practice. I don't get the sense that this learning experience was as profound for many of my classmates as it was for me though.